Can we talk "stranger danger"? Need tips....

smiling76 · May 2013

My biggest fear as a mother is that something happens to one of my children---and the worst thing I can imagine (truthfully) is kidnapping. The "not knowing" would be horrendous.

I'm curious how you all have spoken with your kids about stranger danger--especially having a child with special needs who may have a myriad of therapists and will go to strangers easily. Perhaps one that can't fully remember their phone numbers or address (or at least can't state it perfectly), that may wander easily, that isn't able to communicate clearly, etc?

I saw this article today that states that 2,000 kids go missing EVERY day in the US. That is startling!!! My DS1 tends to be a little overly sensitive, and I fear that speaking with him incorrectly will harbor HUGE fear in him, yet I can't ignore these stats and the fact that he IS getting older.

https://gma.yahoo.com/cleveland-rescue-glimmer-hope-us-families-missing-222103821--abc-news-topstories.html

lite-bright · May 2013

I tried to address this a few times with DD1, because she does tend to just strike up conversations with strangers in the checkout line, etc. and I wanted to convey both the social boundaries and the stranger-danger aspect.

I don't think it really sank in, though, until they spent some time on it at her preschool. For some reason, hearing it from someone other than me made a stronger impression. I don't know exactly how they handled it, but she came home and has several times remarked that you "shouldn't talk to birds you don't know", lol -- she's in a bird-loving phase and sometimes refers to people as birds.

The far trickier part, IMO, is helping them understand that people they like and trust (teachers, relatives, coaches, family friends, etc.) might do things to them that are wrong and harmful, and that they need to be able to tell someone. Statistically, most of the disappearances and harm/abuse/killing of kids is done by relatives. That is frequently framed now as "tricky people," and I don't think there's any quick way to help a kid understand that, NT or SN. It's an understanding that evolves over time, and yes, kids with SN are particularly vulnerable.

As far as communicating name and address, I go over that with DD1 frequently. When we're in a crowded place, I have contact cards with my name & cell phone that I have her put in a pocket. We're going to Disney this summer and I'm ordering ID bracelets for both of my girls (DD2 will have temporary ones and I'll get a something sturdier for DD1).

smiling76 · May 2013

lite-bright:

I tried to address this a few times with DD1, because she does tend to just strike up conversations with strangers in the checkout line, etc. and I wanted to convey both the social boundaries and the stranger-danger aspect.

I don't think it really sank in, though, until they spent some time on it at her preschool. For some reason, hearing it from someone other than me made a stronger impression. I don't know exactly how they handled it, but she came home and has several times remarked that you "shouldn't talk to birds you don't know", lol -- she's in a bird-loving phase and sometimes refers to people as birds.

The far trickier part, IMO, is helping them understand that people they like and trust (teachers, relatives, coaches, family friends, etc.) might do things to them that are wrong and harmful, and that they need to be able to tell someone. Statistically, most of the disappearances and harm/abuse/killing of kids is done by relatives. That is frequently framed now as "tricky people," and I don't think there's any quick way to help a kid understand that, NT or SN. It's an understanding that evolves over time, and yes, kids with SN are particularly vulnerable.

As far as communicating name and address, I go over that with DD1 frequently. When we're in a crowded place, I have contact cards with my name & cell phone that I have her put in a pocket. We're going to Disney this summer and I'm ordering ID bracelets for both of my girls (DD2 will have temporary ones and I'll get a something sturdier for DD1).

That's a great reminder! I actuallly place a piece of paper in my son's pocket too that has cell and full name (I've used it for outtings to big places like the zoo and when he goes out with someone without me). They also make tattoos that can have this info--they use them at the daycare for field trips. I think I'll get some ordered for us as well.

smiling76 · May 2013

bubba2b:

Totally a fear of mine. DD was found my a neighbor outside while I was asleep this morning. She got ahold of my house keys.

https://awaare.org/

OMG--how scary!!!!!! Thank goodness for your neighbor.

The other day I was getting the kids ready for their baths, getting their jammies ready, etc and DS2 was by me and DS1 was looking out the window at the kids playing outside. Next thing I know I hear the front door! I looked down the bannister (we have a very open floor plan so I can see from upstairs to downstairs easily) and luckily he had just peeked his head out and then shut it. But my thoughts instantly went to "what if".

Now I actually have a new fear. At night sometimes I will take a quick shower with DS2 while he's playing in there and then DS1 is just outside my door in my master bedroom (we have a master bath)--and he's watching his favorite show. I always keep the bedroom door closed so he doesn't "get any ideas" but he can easily open the handle. So now I'm not sure that's a good idea anymore.

bumpuser511563 · May 2013

smiling76:
bubba2b:

Totally a fear of mine. DD was found my a neighbor outside while I was asleep this morning. She got ahold of my house keys.

https://awaare.org/

OMG--how scary!!!!!! Thank goodness for your neighbor.

The other day I was getting the kids ready for their baths, getting their jammies ready, etc and DS2 was by me and DS1 was looking out the window at the kids playing outside. Next thing I know I hear the front door! I looked down the bannister (we have a very open floor plan so I can see from upstairs to downstairs easily) and luckily he had just peeked his head out and then shut it. But my thoughts instantly went to "what if".

Now I actually have a new fear. At night sometimes I will take a quick shower with DS2 while he's playing in there and then DS1 is just outside my door in my master bedroom (we have a master bath)--and he's watching his favorite show. I always keep the bedroom door closed so he doesn't "get any ideas" but he can easily open the handle. So now I'm not sure that's a good idea anymore.

OMG! That is so scary!

We still use toddler locks on all the doors. DS hasn't figured out the front door and that is the only door without a toddler lock.