Been ttc#3 for a year...

xoMusicMommyxo · May 2013

Hi everyone I'm new to the forum. Dh and I have been ttc#3 for a year now and no luck. I chart (BBT, ewcm, cp) and we also use pre-seed at times. It's been an emotional roller coaster. We never had any trouble conceiving our 2 kids so it's been really hard going through this. I never even did charting before us ttc#3. Now that I have been I'm surprised it's taking this long.

We have been timing everything perfectly it seems and every month I see bfn's and af. This month was especially hard because I really thought maybe this would be our month based on symptoms I was having and Mother's Day is coming up soon and was hoping for a positive...but af arrived this morning.

How are you all coping? I never knew how hard ttc could be...

Thanks for listening to me vent.

mlamping · May 2013

Hello, sorry you are having a hard time. This board is for ladies using IVF or IUIs to Try to get pregnant. Most of us need to do this to get a baby #2.

Best of luck, coping is hard, but just try to stay positive!

Good luck

xoMusicMommyxo · May 2013

Thanks but just wow...I first got ridiculed for posting on infertility boards because most are ttc#1 and I didn't realize. I am new to the boards and trying to find a support system.

Now I post over here, and I am told this is mainly an IVF/IUI board and most have to go through this for #2. I'm sorry if I offend anyone here but no one seems to realize that it hurts no matter what the circumstance. I think the most difficult part about this journey is that it's hard to get through it without a support system..and even women like myself need that.

How disappointing to feel rejected in each group...this is definitely not a helpful forum.

MJC1116 · May 2013

Hi there, I'm sorry you find yourself here but there's a lot of support and useful information regarding different technologies with the hopes of achieving a pregnancy. I didn't think the previous response was a negative one; I felt like it was just explaining the situation here for most of the other women who find themselves here. Most of us are finding it really difficult to successfully become pregnant with #2. I don't think it was implied that you are not welcome though.

Infertility sucks, no matter how many children you may already have. It's just that when somebody has what you really want, it's hard to understand their exact situation. I have pretty much accepted the fact that if I ever get the honor of becoming pregnant and having another baby, it will likely be my last. I've had to give up my dream of having at least 3 kids. It's just not in the cards for me. Maybe some of the other women here feel the same way and find TTC #3 to be a blessing? (But I know that I will probably always want to TTC #3 and if I had difficulty again, I know I would be sad and need to vent, too).

Have you been to an RE since you've been unsuccessful for a year? It could definitely give you more insight as to why the struggle is occurring.

As far as support goes, while I'm new here, I feel like the community of women posting on this board is far more supportive than the real life one I find myself living in. So to assume that you have been rejected is not really a fair assessment. I think if you utilize the board to express your feelings, to vent, and to ask questions, you will find that answers, prayers and support will come.

Best of luck to you as we all know crappy infertility can be.

BirdieToldMe · May 2013

xoMusicMommyxo - I sent you a PM. I could have written your post word for word. I've occasionally lurked on this forum but I'm glad I've never posted. I had no idea it was only for IVF or IUI and #2. Perhaps we can vent to each other.

Click on "Check Private Messages" (just in case you're new to TheBump). I'll send you something soon. Hang in there!

jeannaqueena · May 2013

As a grad of this board I feel I need to butt in. It isn't neccesarly just a board for IUI or IVF, but more for those experiencing infertility who already have a child or children. You didn't say how long you have been trying or if you are hoping to consult medically anytime soon. Most of the women here have gone through those feelings you expressed and I don't think this board is just for TTC#2. This board is for those trying to complete their family and having to have some medical assistance. Some women on here are taking an oral medication and doing timed intercourse. I think everyone can sympathize that we are not getting the family we want in the timing we had hoped and until we know our families are complete we will be here unfulfilled. This board is a great place to ask medical treatment questions, receive support and give support.

I don't think the other posters were trying to come down hard on you, but sometimes the best way to jump in on any board is to read a lot of the posts, start commenting and giving support and once you get a feel for the board (and people might start to recognize you) then give an intro.

GL completing your family. I think most of us wish we still had the hope that the old fashion sex would conceive our next child. But it is unlikely in the cards for us.

BirdieToldMe · May 2013

jeannaqueena:
As a grad of this board I feel I need to butt in. It isn't neccesarly just a board for IUI or IVF, but more for those experiencing infertility who already have a child or children. You didn't say how long you have been trying or if you are hoping to consult medically anytime soon. Most of the women here have gone through those feelings you expressed and I don't think this board is just for TTC#2. This board is for those trying to complete their family and having to have some medical assistance. Some women on here are taking an oral medication and doing timed intercourse. I think everyone can sympathize that we are not getting the family we want in the timing we had hoped and until we know our families are complete we will be here unfulfilled. This board is a great place to ask medical treatment questions, receive support and give support.
I don't think the other posters were trying to come down hard on you, but sometimes the best way to jump in on any board is to read a lot of the posts, start commenting and giving support and once you get a feel for the board (and people might start to recognize you) then give an intro.
GL completing your family. I think most of us wish we still had the hope that the old fashion sex would conceive our next child. But it is unlikely in the cards for us.

You may be mobile bumping but her subject was "Been TTC #3 for a Year."

My guess is that she'll start looking into meds, IUI, or IVF very soon. It seems like this board is the perfect place to intro so she can commiserate and learn about how each method works since she didn't have any problems with #1 or #2.

kimberm0511 · May 2013

I also feel the need to jump in. I just recently got my bfp for baby 3....and 4 actually. I was never chastised for already having 2 children. I came on this board a year ago and was just about to start treatments. The minor difference in my story is that I had 2 kids from a previous marriage. My current husband has no children of his own. I understand why you may have felt rejected from the posts, but this board is not for people trying for 2 and only doing iui or ivf. This board should be a great place for you. I have found lots of support from here and I hope you can too. Good luck with your journey. It always hurts when you experience any sort of IF. We all wish that we could determine our own family size without having these stupid issues.

whirli · May 2013

Welcome and sorry you have to be here! Since you've been trying for a year I think it's definitely time to have some testing done to see if there's a problem. I only wish I had done testing sooner instead of thinking that each month could be the one. Our RE told us we had maybe a 2% chance of conceiving each cycle without help. So the odds were definitely not in our favor.

As for coping I just take it one day at a time. We're going to try IVF soon but I'm only going to do 1-2 cycles. If it doesn't work it will be time to accept my family for what it is, me DH and a wonderful DD. Knowing I tried everything I could will allow me to have some closure and move on. I also am known to have quite a bit of wine on CD1, so that helps . I hope your stay here is short!

jeannaqueena · May 2013

BirdieToldMe:
jeannaqueena:
As a grad of this board I feel I need to butt in. It isn't neccesarly just a board for IUI or IVF, but more for those experiencing infertility who already have a child or children. You didn't say how long you have been trying or if you are hoping to consult medically anytime soon. Most of the women here have gone through those feelings you expressed and I don't think this board is just for TTC#2. This board is for those trying to complete their family and having to have some medical assistance. Some women on here are taking an oral medication and doing timed intercourse. I think everyone can sympathize that we are not getting the family we want in the timing we had hoped and until we know our families are complete we will be here unfulfilled. This board is a great place to ask medical treatment questions, receive support and give support.
I don't think the other posters were trying to come down hard on you, but sometimes the best way to jump in on any board is to read a lot of the posts, start commenting and giving support and once you get a feel for the board (and people might start to recognize you) then give an intro.
GL completing your family. I think most of us wish we still had the hope that the old fashion sex would conceive our next child. But it is unlikely in the cards for us.
You may be mobile bumping but her subject was "Been TTC #3 for a Year."
My guess is that she'll start looking into meds, IUI, or IVF very soon. It seems like this board is the perfect place to intro so she can commiserate and learn about how each method works since she didn't have any problems with #1 or #2.

yes I was on my iPad and headed out the door. I missed the title as I couldn't scroll back up. I agree I think the women here could be very supportive and as I stated before we all understand that until the ideal family in our heads and hearts is complete we will always have these feelings of sadness, confusion, and incompleteness.

I am glad Kimber chimed in as I knew she posted here and had 2 children. She has been very active on this board for a while.

Basically, I just didnt agree with the first response that we are only IUI and IVF and 2nd child only. As women we need to pull together and support one another TTC is one of the most personal and emotional times of our lives.

i agree some testing for musicmom and her DH would be a great next step and I hope she doesn't shy away from this board from the earlier responses or you Birdie!! You should feel welcome here too!

A while back I tried to figure out how to get a description at the top green box like some of the other boards have, but didnt get very far. Maybe we should work on a good description.....anyone a writer and good at this??

MJC1116 · May 2013

I feel I should apologize, because I don't want to come across as if I was unwelcoming! Through reading other posts, I just assumed most women were dealing with infertility with #2, but I didn't mean to imply that this was only for TTC #2. I know that if I were trying for #3, I would hope to find support here, and I think that I would find it.

You are right... this is a horribly emotional time for everyone dealing with this. I hope I can offer my support to anyone who has to deal with being told that it won't be easy to achieve a pregnancy, no matter what number it is.

tryingyetagain · May 2013

I wanted to welcome you to the board as well. I am so sorry that you are in this situation. Since you've been trying for a year, I would also recommend talking to your OB, or better yet seeing a Reproductive Endocrinologist, who might be able to quickly find out what might be causing the problem. Many issues are easily fixed, once identified. And you will find a lot of support and understanding on this board. I hope you will stay.

I also agree with prior posters that I don't believe this board is only for women who are undergoing IUI or IVF treatments. I was unsuccessfully trying for child #2 for more than two years when I joined this board, and I had never done IUI or IVF at that point. Many women have secondary infertility, but for whatever reason, they try timed intercourse with or without medication to try to conceive. Not opting to do IUI or IVF doesn't take away the fact that they are struggling with infertility. I think you absolutely belong on this board. Keep checking out our posts (and hopefully contribute as well), and you will see all of our situations are slightly different, but ultimately we all have at least one child, but are (or recently have been) struggling to conceive again.

I wish you a ton of luck!

slstine19 · May 2013

I am pretty new to this board also. Personally, I think having a infertility, infertility veterans, and a secondary IF board is quite confusing. I thought I was an infertility vet since I had done it was until I learned that board was only for ppl who had been doing infertility for 6 months...which I had done in my first pregnancy. I then found this board. So far people here have been very helpful.

I find it interesting ppl do not talk about this process IRL. But when ppl participate in boards like this we are all just looking for support because it is hard for others to know what we are going through. I hope your stay here is short. Hopefully you will visit with your dr or an RE and find out what is causing the difficulties.

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