Should I Say Something?

southernbear · May 2013

LO goes to a small infant "school" not far from my place of employment. We really like it, and she has adjusted really well.

One thing that bugs me a little is that they always let her sleep with her blankets pulled up around her face. She's 18 weeks old. I've not said anything so far, because I figure I'm just being a paranoid parent...

Today, I went to see her and nurse her at lunch (I do every day). It was a particularly loud/busy day there. It is normally not nearly so disrupted. She was sound asleep in her crib with a heavy blanket literally wrapped around her face. I panicked and pulled it off her face. She was fine. She actually had marks on her forehead from the blanket.

The teacher said something along the lines of "I keep having to go pull her blankets off her face - she does that quite often."

I said thank you and shrugged it off. We nursed/played/enjoyed each other - now I'm back at work.

I can't stop thinking about it. How long would that blanket have been left there if I hadn't gone to see her? I'm all worked up. Am I being a complete lunatic paranoid parent, or should I say something more strict/severe when I go pick her up? Thanks ladies.

mben1119 · May 2013

Why is there even a blanket in with her? Blankets aren't allowed in the cribs at DS's day care until they're a year old.

luvindanimals · May 2013

Yes as a mom you have your instincts for a reason so definitely say something. I will say my son loves his blankets by his face to fall asleep. I ended up buying a small taggie because it seriously scared me in the beginning. Now I just let him do it and then take it out once he is asleep. I know one child at the center I work at brings a sleep sack so they can avoid blankets all together. Just an idea?

Cellis · May 2013

mabenner1:
Why is there even a blanket in with her? Blankets aren't allowed in the cribs at DS's day care until they're a year old.

This. Definitely say something.

Eags · May 2013

I would say something. Blankets are allowed at DS's daycare, but only for when they are in a bouncer or having other awake playtime.

If I don't use them in his crib at home, I certainly don't expect them to be used at daycare (where there are more kids to tend to).

southernbear · May 2013

UGH thank you ladies.

I'm just torn to shreds over it, and I can't stop thinking about it. Considering leaving work early to go get her and talk to the director. I do like the sleep-sack idea, thank you. I will try that approach.

southernbear · May 2013

uconnhuskie007:
southernbear:
UGH thank you ladies.
I'm just torn to shreds over it, and I can't stop thinking about it. Considering leaving work early to go get her and talk to the director. I do like the sleep-sack idea, thank you. I will try that approach.
^ Good luck. its really fuming when you work, and pay your childcare provider and feel like you trust them to run into a situation like that. sorry. id speak with the teacher, and the director if i were you. or maybe the director....good luck

Yes, thank you for the support. Until today, I've had nothing but confidence. Her teacher is the director. It honestly was probably just a fluke thing, but in my head it's no excuse. Thanks for validating my paranoia.

kvachette · May 2013

I am having a similar experience at my in-home daycare. When I picked up my dd from daycare last week she was asleep in the crib and had a blanket wrapped around her. It wasn't covering her face but she rolls around a lot so I'm sure it could. I don't use blankets at all for naps or bedtime. It's making me feel very uneasy. Any advice on what to say to her without offending her?

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southernbear · May 2013

kvachette:
I am having a similar experience at my in-home daycare. When I picked up my dd from daycare last week she was asleep in the crib and had a blanket wrapped around her. It wasn't covering her face but she rolls around a lot so I'm sure it could. I don't use blankets at all for naps or bedtime. It's making me feel very uneasy. Any advice on what to say to her without offending her?

I'm going to say something today (thanks for the support everyone). I will let you know how it goes. I am going to have to hold it together, as I tend to get emotional when I have to confront issues like this, but I'm thinking it's too important to ignore. I'm probably also going to bring up another issue while I'm at it - leaving babies to cry in their cribs. I'm hoping this all goes smoothly.

ta78 · May 2013

Yes. Definitely say something. I don't know why they'd even think that was ok.

Danni7535 · May 2013

I know you're going to say something, but I'd also consider finding a new DC. If that isn't feasible, I would pop in unannounced and follow upon my baby to ensure they stopped using blankets.

sschwege · May 2013

kvachette:
I am having a similar experience at my in-home daycare. When I picked up my dd from daycare last week she was asleep in the crib and had a blanket wrapped around her. It wasn't covering her face but she rolls around a lot so I'm sure it could. I don't use blankets at all for naps or bedtime. It's making me feel very uneasy. Any advice on what to say to her without offending her?

I have a home daycare and honestly I wouldn't be offended if someone gave me directions concerning their child. Maybe you could do as pp recommended and bring a sleep sack and say something like, "LO sleeps in a sleep sack at home and really seems to like it. From now on please put her in this instead of using a blanket."

SWOG31 · May 2013

I would bring it up, and I would also just stop bringing any blankets to daycare. I would just bring sleep sacks, and that way you won't have to worry anymore.

Starfish+77 · May 2013

Absolutely say something. If you don't want to make it seem confrontational, just tell her you no longer want her to sleep with a blanket. I don't think you owe them any explanation why. My DH yells at me when I put a blanket on DD for naps and we even have a video monitor!

southernbear · May 2013

Thanks everyone for the support yesterday. I left early, went to get her, and talked to the director. I was overly emotional, but I got my point across. Again, this morning at drop off, I spoke to her again and the other teacher that handles infants just to be clear to everyone. No blankets. No bibs when sleeping. No sleeping in the swing. And oh yeah, no blankets.

I feel a lot better today. Thanks again.

peacelove&mama · May 2013

There shouldn't be blankets in the crib. You're not being paranoid. I would definitely say something.

kateraid · May 2013

I would lose my h!t to be honest. Make sure you check in to be sure. This should be basic knowledge by now.

LimaD · May 2013

Yes, DEFINITELY say something. This could be life-or-death and you don't want to look back and realize that these were warning signs. If it's cold she should be swaddled, not just given a blanket draped over her. You have a right to be concerned and to voice it. If you ask she be swaddled, I'd also try to "drop in" or something to see that they are doing as you asked...

Also, you mentioned the provider saying they kept having to go and move the blanket off of your baby's face...shouldn't that be a sign?? that kind of concerns me that she didn't take the blanket out or swaddle your LO so it wouldn't keep happening...

LimaD · May 2013

LimaD:
Yes, DEFINITELY say something. This could be life-or-death and you don't want to look back and realize that these were warning signs. If it's cold she should be swaddled, not just given a blanket draped over her. You have a right to be concerned and to voice it. If you ask she be swaddled, I'd also try to "drop in" or something to see that they are doing as you asked...
Also, you mentioned the provider saying they kept having to go and move the blanket off of your baby's face...shouldn't that be a sign?? that kind of concerns me that she didn't take the blanket out or swaddle your LO so it wouldn't keep happening...

I was quick to respond, I see you DID talk to them. Glad it went well! Good luck and hopefully no more issues!

ally2011 · May 2013

I would get a sleep sack to send and tell them that is absolutely all that can be in the crib with her and it must be on and properly zipped. Otherwise I would change centers. That is a huge SIDS risk.

ally2011 · May 2013

And honestly, I would consider looking elsewhere for care anyway....it would concern me that they don't know any better than this in the first place. It would make me wonder what else they don't know

ETA - I am overly cautious because I have lost a baby and am in a loss Facebook group with others who have also lost babies.....we are the statistics so I am really careful. Just the other month on FB there was a page created by some parents who lost their child, possibly to SIDS during a nap at the in-home care provider's house....twice before when they had come to get their son they found him asleep on his tummy....once on a comforter on the floor and once in a PNP with blankets or something. They didn't listen to their instincts and of course will forever wish they had. I always think about that when I read posts like this one. In fairness, it sounds from their story that the lady was very negligent for years, but nonetheless, there were red flags before their tragedy. Never be afraid to speak up and take action with regards to the safety of your child in a situation like this.

Good luck to you!

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