Co-sleeping/bed-sharing

MBush4 · May 2013

My LO is almost 12 weeks. Since he came home at three weeks we've had him sleep in our room in a PnP. When he started STTN at 8 weeks we tried putting him in his crib in the other room, and while he was fine with it the first night, the next two he wasn't and it seemed unnatural anyway. I LOVE having LO sleep with us though. Unfortunately he doesn't BF directly due to several issues (I EP), so having him sleep next to me is a great way I feel he and I can bond. We have a king-sized bed and because DH and I are light sleepers we tend to stay on our respective sides. Here's my question. Since I am such a light sleeper, would it be okay if she bed-shared? Or should we stick with co-sleeping with him in our room but not the bed?

AliciaS1411 · May 2013

I personally, am way afraid of bed sharing, but I know it can be done safely.

We co-slept with the PNP right beside my side of the bed for the first 9 months (until he outweighed the top of the PNP), and then we put the actual crib in our room.

RioG1978 · May 2013

We started bedsharing at 4 months, and never looked back. It has been one of my favourite things. She now (11 months) starts the night in her crib, and comes to bed with me if she needs it, or if I'm tired and feel like she'll need me more than once in the middle of the night.

Research how to do it safely, and trust your instincts.

southernbear · May 2013

I say do whatever feels most natural for you and your family. Personally, I love sleeping near my daughter. She sleeps in a co-sleeper attached to our bed for the first half of the night, and when she wakes to nurse, I let her stay in bed with me from that point on. It is the highlight of my day. You're right - it is an incredible bonding experience.

I suggest, though, that if you do bedshare with your little one, to either get a guard rail for your side of the bed, or a co-sleeper (like Arms-Reach). I've read a lot of research that suggests that dads just aren't as attuned to their babies as moms are, and it puts a baby at risk to put them in between two sleeping parents as opposed to between mom and a rail, or mom and the wall. Just a suggestion - take it or leave it.

If you really enjoy room-sharing, have you thought about a co-sleeper? It's kind of the best of both worlds, and they are rated for up to 35 pounds.

chizekgeena · May 2013

Bedsharing has such a negative connotation which is actually quite sad. We have been bedsharing since day one! I always keep her upper half out of the blankets and I keep my pillow as far from her as possible. Bedsharing is such a wonderful experience for both parents. My 8 month old LOVES cuddling with her daddy after she is done nursing. We plan on having a family bed someday. We love having our baby close to us and we both sleep better knowing that we know she is safe.

PayolaCrayola · May 2013

I have bedshared with DD since she was born. I love it. DH wasnt on board with it after she was more mobile but I am such a light sleeper that we never had an issue. I felt much better with her near and I just couldnt bear to have her in another room. It can be done safely so just do what feels best for you.

jackiesue586 · May 2013

My kids have been sleeping with us since day 1. We never owned a crib. daughter slept with us until she decided not to at 4 and My son is weaning off into his bed too(3). best idea ever because we all get much better sleep and i feel It's safest for them to stay close.

My baby (due this fall) will also bed share from day 1.

skibunny59 · May 2013

DD has slept with us since the day she was born. We never planned on it but it just happened. She is 14 months now.

ExcitedMum2B · May 2013

We've been bed sharing since day one. Even in the hospital. She sleeps between us, and we had purchased a co-sleeper but haven't used it at all. I can't imagine having her sleep in a different room from us yet, I'd be up half the night worried. But do whatever feels right for your family.

MommyKristin88 · May 2013

You have to do what you feel is best.

I bedshared from day 1 (in the hospital) until my daughter was 3.5 I was also single and slept alone, so I don't know how it would have worked/not worked with a SO in the bed. Either way, we had no problems.

SpruceGrouse · May 2013

RioG1978:
We started bedsharing at 4 months, and never looked back. It has been one of my favourite things. She now (11 months) starts the night in her crib, and comes to bed with me if she needs it, or if I'm tired and feel like she'll need me more than once in the middle of the night.
Research how to do it safely, and trust your instincts.

We do the same, he starts in his crib but at the first noise I bring him in the bed. I find it more restful.

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