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December 2013 Moms
janinecostello
member
Gender Pressure
janinecostello
member
This pregnancy we have decided not to find out the gender, because to be completely honest I'm impartial. It's win-win either way. We already have one son, he is the oldest grandchild on both sides. So now there is MAJOR pressure to have a girl. ALL the family keeps saying "you better have a girl" or "a girl would be SO nice". I'm just worried if it's a boy they'll all be disappointed, which makes me sad.
Does anyone else feel like they have pressure to have a certain gender?
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Re: Gender Pressure
I have two boys already, so I feel with this pregnancy everyone expects I want a girl. Everyone was hoping girl with my 2nd pregnancy, we only have one girl so far on both sides of the family. I'm also at the point where I'm not sure if I want to find out the sex either, no matter what the baby will be loved, plus I have all the baby gear already. Determining the sex is out of your hands and your family knows this! Just have a stress free pregnancy
My hubby however was secretly devastated when he found out our 2nd was a girl. Soul mates, can read him like a book! Even though he never once said I cant explain just how upset he was.
And now here we are again!
Me, I dont care. I see all the goodbye posts on here and my friend who was pregnant with me for my second lost hers at 38weeks. So long as a get a healthy couldnt care less.
But I can see uts bothering him already. We'll be finding out the sex so he has 20 weeks to get over it lol
This is us. We have 2 amazing little boys and I would be thrilled with another one. I'm actually considering not finding out just so I don't have to hear about how people are "sorry it's not a girl." We honestly do not care. I know it sounds cliche to other people, but I just want it healthy. I couldn't care less what flavor it is.
I hate crap like this. This isn't the .middle ages where you have a fiefdom to pass down. Plus, what are the chances that last name will actually "die out"?
MurMom, I am not saying you feel this way but your family seems pretty self important. If we are at a point where the freaking royals of England don't care if they get a male heir, I think we could all take a step up on the societal evolution of thought.
I have two amazing boys and now I would be totally thrilled to have a third. I will say when we found out ds2 was a boy I was disappointed I thought he was going to be a girl. but while I was pg with him I knew him being a girl just didnt feel right. the minute he was on my chest though it was love at first sight and he is an amazing little boy. This time around I dont care if its a boy or girl as long as its on my chest and healthy in about 30 weeks.
Its funny family doesnt know yet but the few drs I have told & even nurses at the ob's office are all like oh trying for a girl. : insert eye roll here: its already started nope just feel like I am missing a child so three is my number and I am having baby to complete our family thanks for asking............
Same situation for us and our family does keep suggesting that this one "should" be a girl but I just ignore it. They can kiss my arse if they're "disappointed". That is absurd.
My Colton...Growing up so fast!
And Coralee, his baby sister...On the way!
I find it really bizarre that people will root for certain genders or pressure someone to have one or the other, like it's a choice we're able to make. It's impossible to do that, so why do people even say it?!
We're not finding out because I just don't want too. I already have a DD, so most people assume I want a boy this time, or I should have a boy this time, it just weirds me out.
I'm an opponent of social gender norms, and I think it's absurd to have 'boy' stuff and 'girl' stuff, and that society divides our childs genders out by the color blue (and red and green) and the color pink (and purple). I hate it when I open up Christmas toy catalogs and boys have their own pages of tools and robots and girls have dolls and vacuum cleaners, it pisses me off to no end. My DD had a variety of toys. She actually NEVER took to baby dolls, she preferred animals and dinosaurs and more typical 'boy' stuff. No, she's not a lesbian and she totally wears dresses and likes makeup and it didn't screw her up.
Even car seats give you a pink or blue option. WTF?! Just give me a friggin' car seat that safe.
So I'm not automatically dressing my son up in shirts that have monster trucks and dump trucks and baseballs on them and I'm not dressing my daughter up in sparkly ballerina clothes and pink everything. My DD wasn't head to toe in pink her whole life and everyone knew she was a girl. And if strangers couldn't tell what gender she was, I could care less. It's none of your business. I carted her around in 'boy' clothes and sleepers and I knew she was a girl, color just shouldn't matter. You don't need to prove to the world if your child has a penis or vagina.
I'll get off my feminist soapbox now.
"Your truth is different from my truth, and we're both right."
TTC since March 2013. BFP 4/13/13, blighted ovum discovered 6/6/13, m/c 6/8/13.
BFP 11/10/13, EDD 7/25/13 - stick little owlet!
I went through this with DS2 pregnancy. xMIL went with us to the U/S and was visibly upset when the tech happened to swing right by his bottom and he gladly showed us his bits and I pointed out and exclaimed "I saw it, it's a boy" before the tech could say anything, lol. I was *slightly* upset just because I wanted to dress a little girl up but honestly I had so much fun with DS1 that I knew having another boy would be great. Those who do know have made comments that this one had better be a girl... honestly, it'd be nice but I wouldn't really know what to do with a little girl having been around rough and tumble little boys for years!
At the end of the day, no one gets to pick what LO is and that's half the fun is all the guessing but regardless everyone loves a fresh new baby
There is just so much wrong with this post....I can't even get into it, but I'm sure someone else will. FYI sex =/= gender
Room up on that soapbox for me? I was trying to explain all of this to my husband the other day, and he just looked at me like I was losing my mind. Not that he supports gender stereotypes, just that he doesn't see it as that big a deal that everything for girls is pink. And luckily, he knows me well enough and loves me well enough to allow me to have my way on this, because at the end of the day, he doesn't really care and I do.
But all of this is why I don't want to find out the sex early - I don't want my child outfitted in blue or pink before he or she is even out of the womb. Nope. If I have a girl, she will have the opportunity to play with trucks and swords and whatnot and if I have a boy, you can bet your behind that he will be learning how to cook and do his own laundry. And if my daughter WANTS to play with dolls, that's cool too.