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Babies: 3 - 6 Months
SparkySharky
member
When it comes to sleep, my H is public enemy #1
SparkySharky
member
We have a beautiful baby boy who is 1000x's better at being a baby than we are at being parents. He's amazing. He gave himself a bedtime about 4 weeks ago and has been sleeping about 7pm to 6am every night.
I work until 11pm 4 nights a week and get to bed around midnight, so 6am is a little early for me to get up; but of course I do, because I need to feed him (and it needs to be me during those days that I work, b/c I often only get to feed him once or twice those days).
My husband hasn't yet adjusted to the miracle of having a sweet LO sleep through the night and has become my son's alarm clock. And thus - my alarm clock. Whenever he wakes up, he wakes me up very indelicately, saying some anxiety-induced thing like, "The baby isn't up yet," or "have you fed the baby?" If I don't get up, the damn jerk goes and checks on the baby himself and - wait for it - says he was awake(!) and brings the baby into our room. Then he talks about he must be very hungry and, yes, he's definitely hungry, etc., etc., etc., until...
I get up. H goes back to bed. When my sweet LO is done eating, I try to go back to bed. LO comes into bed with us to sleep, which is often wonderful, but about half of the time - it's very difficult to sleep. Then the H will get up with him, leave the door open, and repeatedly find excuses to wake me up.
I have talked myself blue in the face trying to get him to understand that our LO will let us know when he's ready to get up and how important it is for me to get some sleep. I had brought it up just last night at a neutral time to discuss how our "schedule" in the morning wasn't working and we needed to find something different so that I could get some sleep - but this morning was exactly the same.
I'm not a happy person in the morning when I get a full night, but under these circumstances - our marriage is ripe for some good old-fashioned domestic violence. Other than let my H give him a bottle and lose the one opportunity I have to feed my little man during work days, I'm out of ideas. This should be such a GREAT situation and I can't take advantage. Please help.
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Re: When it comes to sleep, my H is public enemy #1
If my H makes enough noise to stir myself or baby while we are sleeping he gets a death look...he has only done it twice, I have no doubt he won't do it again.
Sounds like you need to have a conversation with your H about the logic of sleep and how he needs to knock it the F off.
Henry Cavill...You're welcome!
BFP #3: EDD 1/10/13 **DS born 12/30/12!!!**
BFP #2: MC 7/2/11 @ 12 weeks
**Missing our February '12 LoveBug**
BFP #1: MMC discovered on 12/6/10
With DD1 DH was the same way. When we got to the age where I could do CIO, he refused. I had to lock him out of our house and just figure it out. It was horrible.
If it were me, I would have a bottle waiting for when he goes and gets the baby, and let him deal with it for a night or two. Then maybe he'll understand how hard it can be in the MOTN. You sometimes have to put them in your shoes to get them to understand. I hope you and your LO get a full nights sleep!
CIO?
Ah. Yes. I briefly tried the CIO method when LO was learning to roll over and the H couldn't handle it. It was rough for me, too, but darn near traumatic for my husband, and we only let him cry for maybe 2-3 minutes. Who knows how long it was. It could have been 20 seconds, but it felt like eons.
I think you're right about biting the bullet and letting the H feed LO a bottle. I don't think DH would try it if he knew I was perfectly willing to let him have a bottle and pump instead (although it hurts to even type those words...).