facebook/pregnancy

AObub · May 2013

Let me start by saying that I already know I'm in the minority. No need to point that out.

I'm just having a huge problem with some of these women posting everything about their babies. I'm totally on board for occasional pictures but the constant streaming is ridiculous. I can only imagine how that makes childless women feel or women that can't have children. Does anyone else think that it's a little much? I don't mean to use this word in an overly harsh way but it's pretty narcissistic to think that anyone wants to see 10 albums of your baby. Why can't people just enjoy their little ones and post pictures sparingly. I actually get more enjoyment from my friends that take me by surprise with a rare shot of their kid. I'm very sensitive to other people and I don't want to ever feel like I'm rubbing my pregnancy in anyone's face. I don't think anyone does this on purpose but how can they not see how excessive it is?

Anyway, I'm sure nobody will agree with me.

carolinettc · May 2013

I just block those people from my newsfeed....No harm, no foul

vintageutopia · May 2013

Well, I guess it doesn't bother me, because I don't feel compelled to view the pictures or read their posts if I don't want to. That is the beauty of FB. As far as rubbing it in the faces of childless woman, that is borrowing trouble. The whole purpose of FB is to keep in touch with others and let people know what is going on in your life. If a baby is the highlight of your life, then post pictures. For others, it is vacations, career accomplishments, or nightclub recaps. I don't think people do it for the sole purpose of making others feel badly.

mben1119 · May 2013

I know for my family, who all live hours away, it is nice for them to see DS grow up via Facebook, since they only see him 1-2x a year in real life.

Anyone who doesn't want to see my pictures of DS can block me on their newsfeed.

BelhurstBride · May 2013

mabenner1:
I know for my family, who all live hours away, it is nice for them to see DS grow up via Facebook, since they only see him 1-2x a year in real life.
Anyone who doesn't want to see my pictures of DS can block me on their newsfeed.

Ditto.

Though I do get exhausted from those with play-by-play pregnancy updates.

lucianneD · May 2013

Before I was pregnant people with kids would often annoy me because that is all they wanted to talk about, but now that I am expecting I fear I have turned into one of those annoying people and I could care less! A ton of photos can be a bit much, so I can see your point, but they are probably just excited.

As far as rubbing it in the faces of those who can't have kids, I just don't see it. Where would we draw the line? Are thin women posting pics of themselves rubbing in the face of dieters and the obese? Is me taking a picture of myself with friends drinking a beer rubbing it in the face of alcoholics? I think it is best to focus on your own happiness and not worry about offending others. I have a friend who cannot have children and she is very happy for me and my pregnancy.

MrsMommyQ · May 2013

It kinda sounds like you are oversensitive to other people's feelings--esp on FB. Yes there are always those people that post 15 updates a day and 934 pictures of their kids doing everything from eating to sleeping. But to post about your pregnancy or your kids doesn't seem out of the ordinary NOR is it rubbing it on other people's faces. That's waht FB is for: to share.

And, what you see as excessive may not seem excessive to other people. I have 1 friend who posts a MILLION pictures to facebook. She'll make an entire album of 20 pictures of her kids on the swings at the park on a normal day. It's not something I'd do, but I don't get upset about it.

coraggiosa · May 2013

I get annoyed by constant streams of ANYTHING on Facebook. As such, I hide people from my news feed quite frequently.

I don't think about it too much, to be completely honest. People are free to do what they like on Facebook, but the end result might be that I hide their posts. No big deal to me.

TurtleMomma · May 2013

lucianneD:
As far as rubbing it in the faces of those who can't have kids, I just don't see it. Where would we draw the line? Are thin women posting pics of themselves rubbing in the face of dieters and the obese? Is me taking a picture of myself with friends drinking a beer rubbing it in the face of alcoholics? I think it is best to focus on your own happiness and not worry about offending others. I have a friend who cannot have children and she is very happy for me and my pregnancy.

THIS! 1000% THIS!

RunningGal900 · May 2013

Eh, I have mixed feelings. During my miscarriages it could be hard on some days to see random pregnancy announcements, but I don't think anyone was rubbing it in anyone's face. If anyone gets excessive about anything I block them. I try to enconscious about how frequently I post about anything. I find constant political rants or stupid reports just as irritating. And since most people don't know about my miscarriages, they have no idea that my excitement comes with a long journey of heartache as well.

lucianneD · May 2013

although this post does make me think twice before being obnoxious about it, on fb or real life

Obsessing about any one subject is never good.

Khaleesi07 · May 2013

I don't think most people who post constant pics of their children are doing anything to rub it in the faces of couples who can't conceive, however, I do agree that it's super annoying! How much time do you have on your hands to contstantly post 289346248247 pictures of your kids? It's almost an invasion of privacy...maybe that child will grow up being quite miffed that their parents blasted their first potty or nekkid tub pics on facebook. One person I'm friends with has a picture collage dedicated to her child's "first bed head"....Really?! The occasional pics and videos are cute and fun, but some people can be so excessive. I really have no desire to post hundreds of pictures of my child, much less "announce" my pregnancy on facebook. I agree that it's a little narcissistic, but then again, I find facebook in general to be a platform for narcissism. I'll probably post a couple of pics of my child, but I also feel like anyone who really matters I can just text or email pictures to.

kakhmama · May 2013

lucianneD:
Before I was pregnant people with kids would often annoy me because that is all they wanted to talk about, but now that I am expecting I fear I have turned into one of those annoying people and I could care less! A ton of photos can be a bit much, so I can see your point, but they are probably just excited. :nbsp;nbsp;As far as rubbing it in the faces of those who can't have kids, I just don't see it. Where would we draw the line? Are thin women posting pics of themselves rubbing in the face of dieters and the obese? Is me taking a picture of myself with friends drinking a beer rubbing it in the face of alcoholics? I think it is best to focus on your own happiness and not worry about offending others. I have a friend who cannot have children and she is very happy for me and my pregnancy.nbsp;

thumbs up!!

carlieanddanwedding · May 2013

I find a constant stream of posts relating to pregnancy/kids/baby pictures/etc about as annoying as I find a constant stream of posts about your dog, what you had for dinner, your vacation, etc. That is to say, a constant stream of anything is kind of annoying, but it's also just a part of facebook. As long as the posts aren't WAY TMI (no pictures of diaper blowouts/vomit/snot/bodily functions/birth) then I'll click on past it if I'm not in the mood, or enjoy the cute pictures if I am.

That said, there is definitely such a thing as overshare, and if any of you have not yet checked out www.stfuparentsblog.com/? yet, I highly recommend it. It's hilarious and horrifying.

For OP, you might also want to look into UnBabyMe. More info here:

https://jezebel.com/5932109/finally-a-way-to-turn-facebook-baby-pictures-into-adorable-cats

(sorry no clicky, my browser won't let me )

VeraM22 · May 2013

I know I post a lot of pictures and posts about how my pregnancy is going but my entire family lives over 5 hours away from me. Instead of answering multiple phone calls, text messages, emails etc. a week I use facebook to keep them all updated on how everything is going. All of my friends that are on my fb who live near me know that I use facebook to connect with all of my family so far away so they can either choose to look at the pictures or posts or they can choose not to. It's really not that big of a deal.

palm513 · May 2013

I only post the really cute moments and the birthday pics on Facebook(granted I am calling 1 week, 1 month, 2 months, ect. birthdays). But I see where you are coming from, I got pregnant at the same time as three of my friends and I had a m/c and every time I signed onto facebook it was the baby this, morning sickness, so excited to be a mom, baby bloat pics, ultrasound pics, blah, blah, blah. And it was really hard to not just cry, because I was in their shoes a few days before. But, instead of getting irritated or unfriending them I just stopped going on facebook altogether, until I had time to recover from losing my dear sweet baby. Because, I know that they are all ubber excited about their babies and really now that I have had time even though I lost mine I am now ubber excited for them. I know that I will not be going on at all from Sept. 10 - Oct ?. But I am happy for them and it doesn't bother me anymore. They have the right to post whatever is going on in their lives, and I respect that.

katharine25 · May 2013

I completely agree with the points your saying, but I just hide the chronic offenders who do it. Dealing with TTC while continuously miscarrying made me fairly liberal with the "hide" button. I also don't think the women posting them have the intention of hurting anyone, it's just a side effect of life that it does.

On most subjects, my Facebook motto is less is more. I just don't have any desire to soft through 300 photos to find the one good shot... you want to post them all, go for it, but I won't be looking at them.

VCK · May 2013

I don't so much get annoyed by the pics, but I do have mixed feelings about it. I don't know how comfortable I am putting my child out there in the digital world before they have a choice to do it themselves. Everything we post on FB is public. I don't know how comfortable I am with the idea of posting my child's image to the world before they have a chance to consent and make their own decisions about how they will portray themselves to the world. At minimum, I will scale back my 'friend' list....we'll see. I have a few months to figure it out.

Penwater1 · May 2013

It is a personal choice. For some people it is the only way to share with family members who are distant and there are some people who give out WAY too much information, no one needs gory details. Personally, I only just put up a notice that we are expecting a girl, otherwise I plan to keep all baby stud off Facebook. This is more of a privacy thing. I do not wish to post pictures of my child or detailed information in an unsecured public forum, even though I have the security settings at the most restrictive level. I will be happy to mail pictures or email pictures to family members who live far away. For now, once my baby is born she will stay off FB.

inthelost · May 2013

I don't think anyone does it to be purposely mean or rub it in anyone's face. Yes, some women might go overboard with pictures and stuff but it is <b> their </b> facebook page they can post what they want..if you don't want to see it, hide it from your newsfeed or unfriend them. should no one post anything in case it might offend someone else?

katiebenes · May 2013

AFwifelife:
If you have a problem with what someone puts on their FB, hide their stories from your news feed or defriend them. Since I live over 1,000 miles away from my family, I use FB to update them on my pregnancy and will put pictures up of LO. If any of my friends have an issue with it, they can hide my stories or defriend me. It wouldn't hurt my feelings. You can control what you see, it's not like you are being forced to looked at their pictures.

I'm not quite that far away, but even my close family knows that I update facebook more often than I send them texts. why? because I'm on a different schedule than them. If I text them things like my bump pics... its the middle of the night and if they forgot to turn their phone off... they get woken up. I don't want to be rude.

I am going to be one of those people, but you know what? don't look if you don't like it!

I have always been a big picture person though. My memory isn't the best so when I look at pictures I take, I can open up my albums and see these moments that I would have otherwise forgotten. And when I see all the pictures of my family (especially my nieces that live 5 hours away) I feel like I actually get to watch them grow up.

littlemissblondiex · May 2013

I'm one of those who constantly posts about my pregnancy and baby. I don't see it as a problem because I'm not trying to throw it in people's faces, I'm just sharing my excitement and happiness. It's just like someone who posts constantly about their wedding or graduation or new career. As friends we should be happy towards one another no matter our personal issues with the subject. The people I have as friends on Facebook are the one's who are happy for me. I don't see why people should have a problem with someone posting about their pregnancy/baby. It's not really their choice and if they don't like it there is always the "hide story" or other options where they can opt out of these posts.

slh6363 · May 2013

I'm in the minority here and agree with OP! Although I don't think people intentionally try to rub it in someone's face or hurt their feelings, I think they just dont think about it. As others have said I think when anyone posts something continuously about the same thing it is annoying. I also don't feel comfortable having my FB be a personal baby book for the world. So there are a few reasons I don't plan on doing this.

Kfran84 · May 2013

I'm going to try to let my Facebook be my Facebook, not my kid's public baby book. I can share photos with my mom via email and text. She's the only person other than me or DH that will want to see this kiddo on the daily.

I do like watching my friends' kids grow though. Milestones and accomplishments are fun to see and I'm sure I'll share plenty of those because they are big moments for me too. But there's a difference between the daily Someone likes carrots!!! shots versus a 6 month photo or first time standing up photo.

magicalbride2bee · May 2013

I do think posting pictures of people's babies is a bit excessive, but I can understand why they do it. 1) they're excited & 2) they may not live nearby their friends and family. Try to block the news feeds you feel are a bit excessive. Is a win- win situation for both you and the people posting the pictures.

Cheryls24 · May 2013

I understand where you are coming from. Sometimes people share too much about their lives and families and forget they are publicly sharing to soooo many people on the internet. I have been posting sparingly on facebook. I know I have a couple "friends" that have lost their babies during birth or have miscarried or have fertility issues and don't feel everyone needs to see my ultrasound pictures and weekly baby bump pictures. At the same time, I'm not trying to hide that I'm pregnant. I post if I think it is meaningful to those who may see it. For my family and friends out of town that are more interested in those baby bump photos and weekly updates, I set up a shutterfly sharesite where I added a small group of close family and friends as members and they get to see more about my pregnancy there.

CarolinaGirl411 · May 2013

If people want to be excited and post about their lives, kids or pregnancies that is up to them. If someone doesn't want to read about it, then that is up to that person. I am not on FB (I know, crazy), but there are ways to block or even ignore someone if you don't want to deal with it. It's just like being on here, you can post what you want and reply how you want..either way, you can't do much about it.

FWIW, having family hours away and being able to share things through email, FB, or Skype can be great.

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