single and angry
So hear i am 21 yrs old and the baby's dad is being a jerk. He pays all my bills and so does his dad. But what makes me mad most of all is that he tells me that i only get to have my own kid for like two days of the week. First off i have taken two months off from work. And also im breast feeding my kid. I told him what are you going to grow boobs to feed the baby. He gets all pissy when i ask him that. Well i know for a fact hes not going to want the baby around because his dad makes him run errands 24/7. And the hole reason for two months off from work is to be with my baby. It makes me sad because he wants nothing to do with me. He tells me im wrong all the time. And thinks hes right all the time. I hate being put down. I told him many times if i find some one to love me for me then thats how its going to be and he tells me no one is going to want you because you have a kid. So i backfired at him saying no chick is ever going to want you either. And he said i have a better chance getting a girl because i dont have a kid glued to my hip. Ugh im so annoyed with him. His dad is the only one who gives me respect and cares about my life making sure im happy. And his sister drives me nuts. She trys to make me feel bad. She tells me shes planning my baby shower and what made me angry is she never asked me if she could plan it. i wanted my sister and my mom to do my shower not her. She just takes everything in to her own hands. the problem with her doing my shower is shes always late no matter what. If you say be here at 1 she'll show up at 130 or 2. It makes me so angry. I know she wants to help out but i dont need her help. My sister has four kids of her own and she knows what there is to know about being pregnant and his sister who has just one think she knows it all. I told him that i only want in my room when i am delivering the baby is my mom my sister and him. And he goes off saying why does your mom and sister get to be there. I said bc there my family. And hes like it should be mine not yours. Well i told him stuff crap were not married and im the one having a baby not you. he even wants the baby to have his last name. And i told him nope bc the law says if your not married the baby gets the mothers last name. And go figure hes having a cow about that to. He acts like hes 5 some times ugh.
What do you people think!!! I want to hear what you people think!!!!
Re: single and angry
Sounds like he's got some growing up to do. At the hospital, you get to decide who's in the room because you're the one pushing a baby out. You need people around you that will support you, not stress you out. Just a heads up in case he looks into it, the baby can technically get the father's last name regardless if you're married or not if he signs the birth certificate, but that's your choice.
Don't let him hold the paying the bills over your head to make you think you don't have the right to your child. I don't know what type of bills he's paying, but you might want to free yourself of whatever situation you're in with that. That'll just brew more drama later.
There are guys out there that will love you for you and treat you right and love your baby. They might even have kids of their own. Don't settle for less than you and your baby deserve. But don't worry about looking for love right now. You'll be so busy once the baby gets there. And that baby is going to be the new love of your life.
If it were me, I'd decline the shower from his sister and just say that your family has it covered and thank her for the offer. But maybe his sister could host a baby shower with his side of the family only. And your mom and sister could host one for your family and friends.
Good luck.
As far as the baby shower goes, I would just try to focus on being thankful for the gifts and not worry about who or who isn't there. If they do anything embarrassing it will make them look bad not you.
When you are in labor and delivery, absolutely do not cave and let his family come. It's a very personal ordeal. You will definitely need the support of your mom and sister, especially with this being your first and not knowing what to expect. He will just have to suck it up and get over himself. He isn't the one going through it.
Why are his family members paying your bills if you have a job? They probably feel like they have more say in you b/c of the money situation. I would work on making other financial arrangements as soon as you are able (or let them keep paying bills while you SAVE your paycheck for a lawyer!).
There are PLENTY of men who will want you with a baby. He is just playing with your emotions and making you doubt yourself. He is contradicting himself....saying you will have a baby attached to your hip all the time so no one will want you but then saying you will only have the baby 2 days a week. That doesn't make sense. Make sure you get documented custody of the baby right away. Research laws in your state and get a lawyer if you can afford it.