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Toddler Tantrums.............I need help!!

Suepotsy1Suepotsy1
in Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

Hello, I have mostly posted on the pregnancy and newborn boards because I thought I had my toddler all figured out (yeah right!!). I have an almost 3 year old daughter and a 4 week old baby boy.  Our newborn is a dream..............easiest baby ever.  I wish I could say the same for our daughter right now.  I expected some difficulty after bringing home the baby, but I did not expect the level of aggression.............towards ME.

For the first 2 weeks, she was fine, just clingy.  This has now escalated to the point that I cannot even walk into another room without her sobbing, even when my husband is home.  This breaks his heart, by the way.  In addition, she is now throwing ridiculous, aggressive tantrums.  She hits, kicks, screams and throws things.  Always at me.  She has never shown any aggression towards the baby.  However, most of these tantrums occur when I am feeding him.  I am nearly to the point of quitting breastfeeding because of it.  I have tried time-out, but it doesn't work because she just continues to scream and then gets up.  Recently I have been bringing her to her room and telling her she can come down when she is ready to be nice.  This works fairly well, the problem is that I have to stop what I am doing (usually feeding the baby) to bring her there.  I have tried to ignore her until I am finished feeding him, but it usually escalates and that is when she starts hitting or kicking.  Today she threw her shoes at me.  I am at the end of my rope.  I miss my sweet, happy girl, and I feel so guilty that I am not able to spend the time/attention with my son that he deserves.  Any advice that you have would be greatly appreciated!!

Oh, additionally, I am a teacher, so I will be at home until the school year starts back up.  Bringing her to the babysitter is not really a solution for me at this point.

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Re: Toddler Tantrums.............I need help!!

  • oliversmommy32912oliversmommy32912 member
    Poor kiddo sounds like she's having a really hard time adjusting. That must be really hard on all of you. Someone once equated a child's view of you bringing home a new baby to your husband bringing home a new wife. I'm sure it's upsetting and hard for her to have to share attention. It sounds like she's really acting out.

    I only have one child but I do have some ideas from things I have seen friends do. Have you tried including her in the nursing sessions? Maybe make that a time she can snuggle next to you on the couch or watch a special show or read a book together? What about setting aside special toys she can only play with when you're nursing? I know many parents that keep shoe boxes full of fun things they only pull out when their little one needs to nurse and put them away as soon as he is done nursing. Maybe also try to give her as much attention as possible during the day and including her in as many baby things as possible so she doesn't feel left out. Just some ideas. Again, I only have one kid so I haven't tried any of these methods yet. It might just be something you all have to ride out until she adjusts.

    Someone once gave me what I consider to be pretty good advice when I was asking about what to do with your toddler when you have a newborn. They said when both children need something always help the toddler first. If you help the baby the toddler will remember that you chose the baby first. The baby won't remember either way.

    I hope you can find some solutions that work for your family. I'm sure your kiddo will adjust and be fine eventually. Try to stay sane in the meantime. Good luck!
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