How to handle kids picking on your child

brightyellow2 · May 2013

My DS is 2 1/2 and mostly non verbal normally he doesn't play with the other children but recently he's interested in what they're doing and just wants to be around them. Now my neighbors child who's 8 has been picking on him when he used to be friendly and would try to play with DS. He will stop him from playing and has gotten he's sister and now the other children to run when he gets near them. They have chased him and spanked DS and DS normally just ignores it like he doesn't even know they're being mean. They call him names and play games that involve them shooting and bombing DS. Once DS did react and acted aggressively to his brother and I felt he was acting out what was done to him but for the most part I thought it didn't phase him. How do I stop this from happening? It breaks my heart that now he actually wants to be around them they're acting this way. The age of these children are the 8 year old and 4 and 5 year olds.

Lulobug22 · May 2013

Lurking but I would be quite concerned if children that old were picking on a two year old. I would keep your LO far away from those kids. They are too old for him to play with anyways. I'd also say something to their mother. That is highly inappropriate behavior! I'm sorry that is happening to your LO.

groovygrl · May 2013

It sounds to me more like the older kids are playing with each other a nd your LO is curious and goes over to their yard and tries to get in the mix a little, not that there is one older kid playing w/ a slew of little kids? I don't think that sounds that unusual, my kids are curious about the older kids at the park but generally get ignored by them LOL. The older kid definitely sounds like a bit of a troublemaker and I agree that keeping your LO away from him is a good idea...the good thing is that I suspect your LO doesn't realize that the big kid is picking on him really at that age but he'll pick it up eventually so better to prevent that. I agree that you should say something to the older kid about playing with kids his own age and also maybe even not picking on kids that are smaller than him and don't understand the games he is playing if he tries to instigate again. Most older boys would greet the little one & then more or less ignore them when playing with other kids in my experience, not engage them really & tease. GL & sorry

mom2pottamus · May 2013

You state that he has actually chased and spanked your child?

HELL NO. No one touches my child in that manner.

Please tell me you have spoken to the parent of this/these children that have spanked your son.

If your son isn't safe then he should not be around this situation. I can't even imagine what I would do if I watched an older child spank my son...

KelleyBean · May 2013

Is this interaction happening in your neighborhood? Were the parents informed when your son was spanked?

AgrippaRidesAgain · May 2013

Don't let him play with the other kids and find him more age appropriate playmates. Tell the parents of the older kids how they have been treating your son.

finsup · May 2013

Hold the phone. An 8 year old HIT your 2.5 year old? WHAT?

smiling76 · May 2013

You're a stronger woman that me because if someone hit my child I would probably floor them. LOL. At least I hope you've spoken with the parents of that child--letting them know that they should not be chasing your child and that the behavior they exhibit is just not right (bombing??? seriously---that kid needs help)

I seriously feel so horrible for you--nothing is worse than seeing your child picked on. Stay away from that kid and if he continues to chase, you need to get the parent involved. That way IF something happens you have some history and can get the police involved.

brightyellow2 · May 2013

Yes it is in my neighborhood these kids have all grown up together and we all have adjacent yards and they all play in everyone's yard. The 8 year old has no one else to play with. This is something new that before they got along great. I have said things to the mothers and the kids. I have been not allowing my kids to play outside to try and let them have some time apart. I wanna keep the peace since this is neighbors. I do suspect that the child is either being treated this way at home by his father or possibly at school. I thought about asking the mother if I could talk to the child to see if he's being bullied at school? Thanks for all the support.

macchiatto · May 2013

Oh wow ... my mama bear would have come out full force. I admit, I have no trouble scolding someone else's child if they are picking on a younger/vulnerable child, whether it's mine or someone else's. I'm glad you said something to their parents. That really sucks if your child can't play in your own yard because of these other children's inappropriate behavior. I would closely supervise your child when he's outside and I agree you may need to travel to find peers for him to play with, and/or host play dates at your house, too. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this; I'd be very upset if we had neighbor kids who treated one of my boys like that.

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