HATE my c-section date

theta · May 2013

So, I know this is crazy and I have been trying to work through it for quite some time now and cannot stop crying about it. And this post is going to be a big vent because literally nothing can be done (I've tried everything).

I was supposed to be scheduled for my third c-section on May 17th. I have uterine window and apparently it was pretty large. I had a consult with my OB to determine whether trying for a third baby was safe or not. He assured me that I would be watched closely and my pregnancy would not go past 37 weeks because it would be too dangerous for baby and I.

I heard from the surgical coordinator that the OR could not accomodate me until almost a solid week later. I went to my doc who agreed that waiting is not a good idea, so she spoke with the surgical coordinator about moving this up. Surgical coordinator calls me back to say that they tried everything and there is nothing they can do and the OR has nothing and I have to go on that date. I said "is my doctor aware of this" and she said "yes". I said "there has to be some way that this can be moved up". She replied no "not unless you go into labor and it becomes an emergency".

So, I hate the date, I can't even bring myself to say it. It's an even number (nobody in my family is born on an even number). It is a good friend's birthday. I hate the day of the week and I hate the time of day (very late in the day which means me being up for 10 hours with no food or drink taking care of a 4 year old and a 2 year old. Believe me, I am aware that these are minor things in comparison to my child being born healthy. But, I have had 3 c-sections and not once did I have any control over when they were. If one more person says to me "you're lucky that you have c-sections, you can pick your kid's birthdays" I am going to scream because nothing could be farther from the truth.

I am absolutely terrified that this is going to turn into an emergency situation where I go into labor and rupture. My anxiety is through the roof and I don't know how I am going to make it another 3 weeks working 50 hours a week and taking care of my kids.

mommytoconnor · May 2013

I'm sorry you are having a hard time with this, but if you want an honest opinion, I think it's a little silly. I mean to say that no one in your birthday is born on an even number, you don't like the time, you don't like the day, to me is a little bit ridiculous. So are you going to be pissy every year when your child's birthday comes around because you "don't like the date?" I understand about your concern of being a week past when you are supposed to deliver, but if your doc is ok with it, then you should be too. You have to understand that in the world of OR schedules, you are not the only patient who needs to deliver. Perhaps there are other people that are in a similar position as you are and need to deliver that time, that's why they can't get you in. I know it must be hard for you being busy and I agree that people shouldn't be saying things like you get to pick your birthday and all, they are just insensitive. Let me throw a little reality your way, if you are that busy, get friends/family to take your kids that day until you go to hospital. Your number one goal should be healthy baby,healthy mom, not what day of the week it is.

Cinnamon Haze · May 2013

All I got was... bla bla bla bla.... I didnt get my own way... bla bla bla....

good luck!

theta · May 2013

Thanks for the advice. I will try to contact the OR again. And my SO will help out. I was told that the increased risk of rupture occurs when you go past 37 weeks and the uterus stretching. I thought it had more to do with actual exertion so bed rest wouldn't really matter. I think I am just more worried about being exhausted working so much and taking care of the kids, but I am happy to know that that doesn't increase the risks.

I was just speaking to my colleagues and they want the number of my OB in case I go into labor at work. I told them to forget about the number. I work an hour away from my OB and the hospital where I am scheduled to have the baby. If I go into labor and rupture, there is only 15-20 minutes to save the baby. So, I told them to focus on getting me to a local hospital.

theta · May 2013

"All I got was... bla bla bla bla.... I didnt get my own way... bla bla bla...."

Of course that's all you got out of it Cinnamon. Nothing about the risk of losing my baby and possibly dying from rupture.

effing birdbrain.

Cinnamon Haze · May 2013

theta:
"All I got was... bla bla bla bla.... I didnt get my own way... bla bla bla...."

Of course that's all you got out of it Cinnamon. Nothing about the risk of losing my baby and possibly dying from rupture.

effing birdbrain.

That is correct.

You dont seem NEARLY as concerned with a potential rupture as you do about the date.

Youre the one that felt the need to post about how upset you were that you did not get to pick the day. Grow up.

Watch what you say if you dont want to be called out on it. You sound like a spoiled brat that wanted her baby here a week earlier and on a date You got to pick.

The rest of your concerns were secondary.

Cinnamon Haze · May 2013

'So, I hate the date, I can't even bring myself to say it. It's an even number (nobody in my family is born on an even number). It is a good friend's birthday. I hate the day of the week and I hate the time of day (very late in the day which means me being up for 10 hours with no food or drink taking care of a 4 year old and a 2 year old. Believe me, I am aware that these are minor things in comparison to my child being born healthy. But, I have had 3 c-sections and not once did I have any control over when they were. If one more person says to me "you're lucky that you have c-sections, you can pick your kid's birthdays" I am going to scream because nothing could be farther from the truth.

I am absolutely terrified that this is going to turn into an emergency situation where I go into labor and rupture. My anxiety is through the roof and I don't know how I am going to make it another 3 weeks working 50 hours a week and taking care of my kids. '

ScarlettV · May 2013

Cinnamon Haze:
All I got was...nbsp; bla bla bla bla.... I didnt get my own way... bla bla bla....good luck!

This is pretty snarky and unnecessary. OP clearly stated the main issue she's concerned about which is obviously making her stress out and focus on all the little meaningless problems as well. Everyone does it when they are upset. She's just venting, who cares.

OP sorry to hear you're going through this. did you ask if the other surgeries scheduled filling all the slots were csections? Perhaps if they consider you high risk at this point, they can contact some of the people who are scheduled and see if they are willing to switch dates.

sonshine0609 · May 2013

OP I'm so sorry you are worrying about this. I know sometimes when one thing goes wrong it can make you think of every little reason why it stinks. Perhaps you can keep checking in with them. You never know what can change between now and then. Just because some one is scheduled doesn't mean something can't come up. Perhaps as the time grows closer some of the other c/s will get canceled for one reason or another. Babies come early all the time and if you are high risk as you say you are perhaps your doctor will be able to work with the hospital to get you in. It's not over until your baby is here & after the fact the date won't matter. Best of luck!

capulet · May 2013

Okay, not to beat a dead horse, but I had to read your OP twice to separate your legitimate reason for wanting to move up your c/s from the completely irrational one. In a situation like this, you need to focus on what matters. You have a legitimate concern, so focus on that and forget the rest. Your weird superstitions are useless and could be genuinely harmful to you and your child if you fixate on them. Knock it off.

Ask the surgical coordinator if you can be placed on a waitlist or something in case there's an opening. I would be surprised if there wasn't; people go into labor before scheduled c-sections all the time. It also seems like they should be able to bump people with low-risk pregnancies who can stand to wait an extra few days. Maybe they can, maybe they can't, but I can't believe every single patient on the books that week is high risk.

Seriously discuss with your doctor how you can alleviate your risk in the last weeks of pregnancy and lay out exactly what you will do in case of an emergency. I think you need to do this anyway. Personally I would not want to be an hour away from the hospital where I expect to deliver under any circumstances, let alone when an elevated risk of uterine rupture would require much more immediate treatment. That is the sort of thing that would have made me change doctors/practices much earlier in pregnancy, if insurance allowed. I have actually changed practices in the third trimester. I don't know if that's even remotely an option, but if your hospital is this incapable of serving a high risk patient and your doctor is powerless to help, it's something you might at least want to investigate.

Also, you need to do everything possible to take stress off yourself in the last weeks of pregnancy. Not only is it adding pressure to you to keep working more than full time and take care of your kids when you're not, what will happen if you need to ditch all responsibility and rush to the hospital?

Take a deep breath and focus on the things that really matter and are within your control.

stephcarter · May 2013

Sorry to hear that you're having a rough time. Try to relax, I know its nearly impossible and you've heard it 1000 times. But really, take a few deep breaths and try to relax.

ScarlettV:
Cinnamon Haze:
All I got was...nbsp; bla bla bla bla.... I didnt get my own way... bla bla bla....good luck!
This is pretty snarky and unnecessary. OP clearly stated the main issue she's concerned about which is obviously making her stress out and focus on all the little meaningless problems as well. Everyone does it when they are upset. She's just venting, who cares. OP sorry to hear you're going through this. did you ask if the other surgeries scheduled filling all the slots were csections? Perhaps if they consider you high risk at this point, they can contact some of the people who are scheduled and see if they are willing to switch dates.

I'm definitely the same way. I get stressed over something big, and suddenly the meanlingless things make me feel like the world might be ending. I found myself crying over not having pringles before getting on a plane once. Like losing my mind.... My fear of flying (big deal) made me get crazy over freaking chips (no big deal...)

magdalina.h · May 2013

The date would be my least biggest concern out of all of that. Call your OB again and express your concerns. They can move a c/s that is already scheduled since yours has more risks. My c/s with Lucas was scheduled at noon and they had an emergency and I got pushed back until 1.

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