Feeling extra sad

pbj1975 · May 2013

Since finding out my tubes are clear and not blocked, my husband and I tried for 2 cycles on our own. We used opk's and hoped for the best. AF arrived again today, and although I felt it coming, it still crushed me big time. I know it was foolish thinking, but I still hoped we'd be that miracle story. My husband is the most optimistic person and he really thought we could do it the normal, natural way. It's just so hard. I feel like a failure I know I'm really not, but right now I just feel like it. I've been fighting with the hubby a lot, too. And with Mother's Day coming I know everyone here is sensitive to that day, I feel like a mess. I teach kindergarten...a half day program, so I have almost 50 students. We're doing a Mother's Day project this week and I just DON'T have it in me to grin and bear it. And since it is half day, I get to do the project twice. Yay.

Now that AF is here, I can prep for my FET. But in my heart, I just don't feel good about it. We have only one and my great fear is it won't survive the thaw. So I'm going to put myself through all the emotional and physical preparation and there's a good chance it's for nothing. I wish I wasn't so negative, but it's hard to believe at this point.

Sorry for all of my woe is me on a Monday morning. :

BeeBee08 · May 2013

I'm sorry. Sending some huge ((hugs)) your way. Do something nice for yourself every night this week to make up for the crappy project work week. You deserve to treat yourself! Hang in there, and keeping my fingers crossed for your FET.

hootie123 · May 2013

I hear you on the surprise BFP thing - I don't know why I even let myself think its possible - but I still do.

And GL with your FET.

BrideJackie11 · May 2013

I don't even ovulate and I still hope for a mirable BFP. Somehow I am hoping that our chemical pregnancy can make my ovaries kick in. I too am not looking forward to mother's day. Sending you ((HUGS)). I can't imagine helping kids do projects for mother's day. I would tear up all day. GL with your FET. Maybe we will be cycle buddies. I'm gearing up for an early June transfer.

luvboston · May 2013

I am so sorry hugs this is the hardest journey to be on in life but remember you are stronger than you think and can get through this remind yourself of all the other if crap you have gone through and survived.

megs3084 · May 2013

Hugs!! I'm sorry you're having a rough time. I hear ya about the surprise bfp.

DoublePortion · May 2013

My heart goes out to you, having to do those Mother's Day projects. I like PP's suggestion of finding something nice to do for yourself every night this week. Huge hugs!

firesiren · May 2013

I'm so sorry you are feeling sad. ((HUGS)) I wish things were different for all of us.

hmz819 · May 2013

I am so sorry you are feeling sad. I can totally relate on the failure part. I think that is one of the biggest reasons I don't go out anymore. I feel like all my friends can see/know what a big failure I am. It's not rational and I know it's not true but it doesn't stop me from feeling that way.

I agree with the others. Do something nice for yourself this week!

liz4paws · May 2013

I am sorry for the extra sadness, big squishy hugs coming your way. I know the hope you feel about a surprise BFP and not getting that can be very crushing. You are a strong woman and I agree with PP - please do something extra nice for yourself! This week can bring many women struggling to their knees. Try to keep your chin up...hugs

rockpaperlove · May 2013

Hugs and encouragement in the days ahead. We stand behind you!

PrettyAccountant · May 2013

I am sorry you are feeling so sad. You aren't alone in your thinking. As a matter of fact I bet you each and every single woman here wishes for the same surprise BFP. I know I did many times.