Late Term and Child Loss

Just blasted another mother for her careless choices with her child...

Ugh... I partially do blame her son for what happened... He's 50 lbs and not even 3... I have to babysit him a few days a week and while I lifted him as little as possible I had to lift him on and off the toilet a couple times a day... I never lifted him in the car and lifted him as carefully as possible on the toilet... One likely cause of my loss is a placental abruption and I'm thinking he contributed to it. She loads him up on sweet tea and candy when he's already overweight... Ignores the drs concerns about weight... Has ignored that he needs to see a speech therapist for over a year even tho all he can say is mama, dada, and baba... Oh and smoked while pregnant... I know I need to keep my mouth shut but I finally told her she needed to realize how lucky whe was to have a son she could help, start making better choices, and get him help... I feel bad for saying it but I have wanted to say most of it for years...

I have really entered the mad stage and it's only made harder by the knowledge that he was supposedly healthy...
DD 9-10-10 DS 5-3-13 our sweet angel boy

Re: Just blasted another mother for her careless choices with her child...

  • I'm in the angry phase as well...and I'm a therapist! It's really difficult to not yell and say "shut up! you have your kids and your problems are nothing compared to mine!"

    Lots of hugs honey..I would have probably done the same thing

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  • Thank you! I know I need to keep my mouth shut... I'm just in an angry stage especially towards people that dont want their kids or don't trat them the way they should...


    It just feels good to hear all these "you're not the one" responses...
    DD 9-10-10 DS 5-3-13 our sweet angel boy
  • ((HUGS))  Don't feel bad about not keeping your mouth shut.  I've found that since my loss I have definitely lost my filter and am more comfortable saying things that I never would have said to someone before.  That mom sounds horrible and I probably would've done the same thing!

    I know how hard it is and when you don't have the right answers you want to blame someone, but I don't think that anything you did could have caused your loss...even lifting the little meatball kid up onto the toilet. 

     

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  • imagemeli1025:

    I know how hard it is and when you don't have the right answers you want to blame someone, but I don't think that anything you did could have caused your loss...even lifting the little meatball kid up onto the toilet. 

    This. Exactly. It's easy to blame others when something like this happens - or even blame yourself - but I honestly don't think that anything you did, even lifting the kiddo, could attribute to what happened. Any number of factors could have led to this.

    I'm another one that lost my filter after losing Devon. It's hard to keep my mouth shut about things and just let them slide. You are definitely not alone.

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  • Thanks... In trying really hard not to blame myself even tho I could've done a lot differently... I just haven't figured out how to stop thinking about all of that....
    DD 9-10-10 DS 5-3-13 our sweet angel boy
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