XP: from SAHM

katekate628 · May 2013

Hi ladies!

I am seriously considering quitting my job and becoming a SAHM. Obviously a lot of things to think about/discuss with DH, but scheduling has become such a hassle at work (should I say my schedule has become a problem for others at work) along with many other stresses that I feel it's just not worth the hour drive each way and keeping my sweet boy at daycare full time!

I am afraid of so many things, like will I be teaching him what he needs to know, etc...

Just wanting to pick your brains--what are your pros/cons of staying at home for those of you that do?

Any insight will be helpful ladies!

orangegoggles · May 2013

Here are 3 things to consider:

1. Financial- can you afford to stay home and comfortable pay your bills, retirement, savings, etc. Do you have enough savings in case DH lost his job and you needed to look for work? What sacrafices to your lifestyle will you have to make? Are you comfortable with them?

2. Long term career goals- Do you want to eventually return to work? How will an extended leave effect that? Will you miss out on promotions/raises, does that matter? Will it be hard to get back into your field of work?

3. Emotionally/Socially- How do you think you would feel being a SAHM daily? Would you have a hard time socially? Would you miss daily adult interaction? Do you have friends who are SAHMs or would you join some groups for playdates, etc. Would you miss your career and outside life?

You said you mention being nervous about teaching him what he needs to know. I personally wouldn't worry too much about that at this age. You are most likely naturally teaching him things daily! If you are worried about social interaction, I would join a moms group and do play groups, story time at library, read together, trips to park, etc. You will also want to send him to preschool when the time comes so he will get more socialization and exposure to classroom experiences.

Lastly you have to get DH on board and discuss this all. I will only be a SAHM until September because I have a way better insurance plan than DH. We don't need my income necessarily but we do need my insurance as it is much chew[per than DHs. There is lots to think about....good luck!

luvmyducks · May 2013

I suggest living off of your DH's income only for a few months while putting your's away into savings and see how things go.

I'm sure you will do just fine teaching DS what he needs. Even though I SAH, when DD is 3, I will put her in pre-school for a couple days a week.

I guess the only con I can come up with is we don't have as much of an income as we used to. We are fine and live comfortably, but we have to budget, which we never did before. It was a little adjustment in the beginning to actually have to think about stuff before we just purchased whatever we wanted. But we played a lot and bought a bunch for ourselves before we went down to one income, so that helps--kinda got it out of our system

adoxyinherear · May 2013

I work from home, but pretty much that happens after my girl goes to bed. As far as teaching a baby, young children learn through play! Just talking with him, reading to him, and giving him lots of opportunities to explore will be all you'll need to do. It's a tough choice, but if you can swing it, go for it. I haven't regretted my decision, though it is quite an adjustment.

katekate628 · May 2013

RusalkaSings:
I work from home, but pretty much that happens after my girl goes to bed. As far as teaching a baby, young children learn through play! Just talking with him, reading to him, and giving him lots of opportunities to explore will be all you'll need to do. It's a tough choice, but if you can swing it, go for it. I haven't regretted my decision, though it is quite an adjustment.

This is the thing I needed to hear! We can make it work with his income, I just did some rough math and I net $100 out of my pay once gas, lunches, and daycare is subtracted from it. WOW! I just didn't realize how much everything added up to be. One of my main concerns is that I am a social person, and I worry that I live about an hour from most of my family that I will get in a funk...I am sure there are groups I can join but it would be a new thing for me since I live in the "country" now.

luvmyducks · May 2013

katekate628:
RusalkaSings:
I work from home, but pretty much that happens after my girl goes to bed. As far as teaching a baby, young children learn through play! Just talking with him, reading to him, and giving him lots of opportunities to explore will be all you'll need to do. It's a tough choice, but if you can swing it, go for it. I haven't regretted my decision, though it is quite an adjustment.

This is the thing I needed to hear!  We can make it work with his income, I just did some rough math and I net $100 out of my pay once gas, lunches, and daycare is subtracted from it.  WOW! I just didn't realize how much everything added up to be.  One of my main concerns is that I am a social person, and I worry that I live about an hour from most of my family that I will get in a funk...I am sure there are groups I can join but it would be a new thing for me since I live in the "country" now. 

I joined our local MOMs club and while it was hard to put myself out there at first, I've made some great friends and DD and I have at least one activity every day so I get plenty of social time.

spincat9 · May 2013

I have been a SAHM for 2 years since DD was born. It was an adjustment for sure, going from being a workaholic outside to one inside the home (lol). I miss some of the mental stimulation my job provided me, as well as the interaction with colleagues etc. I worry a little about going back to work when the time comes and whether my decision to SAH will have jeopardized my career. We definitely are on a tighter budget now because we essentially cut our income in half when I stopped working. But I have joined moms groups and met great friends for both DD and I, and even though we just moved here a year ago I have found a little network of people and activites that keeps us busy each day. I met two of my closest new friends just by going to the park here in town. Lots of conversations happen in the sandbox! We went to the library a lot in the winter (lots of story times, mini concerts and other activities there). You learn as you go, as far as teaching them what they need to know. Just provide a balance of activities, along with lots of outdoor time and plenty of things to explore. I also learn a lot from the other moms with whom I interact. I had my doubts about being left alone all day with a baby. But eventually we came up with a routine that works for us. Good luck with your decision!

DCWJes · May 2013

I know this is an older post, but I wanted to weigh in.

I just became a stay at home mom on purpose in the last few months. DH makes enough money for me to do it and once the house is in order, it will be easier on me. We just moved a few months ago and I sold all the furniture before moving since it was a bigger move.

Also, for social, meetup.com is a good place to find people in your area. I haven't used it yet because I don't havethe time yet but I did see that my area has lots of different groups for moms.

Good luck and even if it seems like it's not working, it may take some time, it's an adjustment.

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