Struggling/Memorial Ideas

jebretz · May 2013

I have been MIA most of April, mostly because I have been struggling to get back into a "normal" routine. You ladies are so supportive, but I felt like I was always looking for a post that says "just kidding! your babies are still alive!" or something equally impossible. I spent so much time online that I was not doing other things I wanted .. cooking, sewing, going to the gym. I always "didn't have time", but that was because I spent/spend time looking for something that is not there... my babies. Also, the grief has become exhausting. but I don't want to let it go yet. So, I function, but I am struggling to find the new me.

In addition, I am planning the memorial service for May 25th. I want it to be a celebration of their short lives, instead of a typical funeral, since they are already buried. Any thoughts/ideas??

MommytoAngel · May 2013

I'm not much help with memorial ideas as we had little John cremated but I didn't want you sitting with no responses... I'm glad you're finding your way into the new normal. I'm hoping to get there. I'm sure any celebration for your beautiful babies will be wonderful!

OSUWifey09 · May 2013

Maybe some sort of release - butterflies? Balloons? Doves? Or maybe some sort of reading - maybe a letter you wrote to them, or a story or something? I haven't done a memorial for Devon yet [we will on his first angelversary, where we'll do a balloon release, and I'll read a letter I wrote to him], so this is all I got. I'm sure others have more, and probably better, ideas. *hugs*

OSUWifey09 · May 2013

And to add - I'm so sorry you're having a tough time. I was MIA for most of March and April [well, not posting as much] because the grief was exhausting for me, too. Thanks to counseling, I've started to get through that, but it's still hard. It's good to see you checking in; I hope the days start to get better soon.

fluttergirlmoonchild79 · May 2013

***SIGGY WARNING***

Sorry you're going through a difficult time. I think the point where you're at is the point where we all sort of come to the realization that this is life now whether we want to believe it or not. As far as memorial services, we've done a few balloon releases. I bring sharpies with me and everyone writes little messages to Corbin before we release them. We've sang songs and I've read a book. (We've done 2. One was the day we did our March of Dimes walk because that would have been his 6 month birthday and then we had another little ceremony on his 1st birthday). Wishing you peace and love.

shandorfml2 · May 2013

We're struggling with this too. We're burying her on the 18th. We already had a little service but want to do something at the cemetary.

Perhaps a reading of poems/letters/stories, releasing balloons or butterflies, going around and sharing what impact/lessons your LO has taught people, sing songs, pray. We did the sharing thing at her funeral, and I really liked hearing how her short life impacted our families and friends.

Williamandshawnna · May 2013

I'm so sorry that you are at this point. It comes around for all of us and I remember it well. You're right grief is exhausting. I know you will get to know and see your new you in time. It can be very hard looking back and knowing how you used to be, and then to know you may never return to certain parts of the old you. I'm so sorry. HUGS

For the memorial service, I like the idea of a balloon/butterfly release. Maybe a donation in their names a park bench, a tree, etc. I know you'll come up with the perfect idea.

-Shawnna

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