Late Term and Child Loss

Struggling/Memorial Ideas

I have been MIA most of April, mostly because I have been struggling to get back into a "normal" routine.  You ladies are so supportive, but I felt like I was always looking for a post that says "just kidding! your babies are still alive!" or something equally impossible. I spent so much time online that I was not doing other things I wanted .. cooking, sewing, going to the gym.  I always "didn't have time", but that was because I spent/spend time looking for something that is not there... my babies. Also, the grief has become exhausting. but I don't want to let it go yet. So, I function, but I am struggling to find the new me.

In addition, I am planning the memorial service for May 25th. I want it to be a celebration of their short lives, instead of a typical funeral, since they are already buried. Any thoughts/ideas??  

TTC since May 2011
Provera x3 late 2011, no natural response. (Previous BCP for 12 years).
 Dx PCOS April 2012. 
Clomid x 4 - no response.
First FSH/Ovidrel cycle early Aug 2012 - 18 days of injections, slow growth, erratic estrogen levels, triggered Aug 21st. 
BFP Sept 4th and Sept 7th! 
 7wk US Sept 28th - triplets! 
Perfect triplets lost at 20 weeks due to incompetent cervix. Allison Grace, James Alexander and Colin Gregory forever in our hearts!  
IVF #1 10/11/13 -  canceled before retrieval.  
IVF# 2 11/28/13 - retrieval on Turkey Day! Hyperstim - no transfer
FET #1 2/4/14 - miscarriage @ 9 weeks (Trisomy 6) 
FET #2 6/8/14 - healthy normal baby! Due date 2/25/15
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Re: Struggling/Memorial Ideas

  • I'm not much help with memorial ideas as we had little John cremated but I didn't want you sitting with no responses... I'm glad you're finding your way into the new normal. I'm hoping to get there. I'm sure any celebration for your beautiful babies will be wonderful!
    DD 9-10-10 DS 5-3-13 our sweet angel boy
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  • Maybe some sort of release - butterflies? Balloons? Doves? Or maybe some sort of reading - maybe a letter you wrote to them, or a story or something? I haven't done a memorial for Devon yet [we will on his first angelversary, where we'll do a balloon release, and I'll read a letter I wrote to him], so this is all I got. I'm sure others have more, and probably better, ideas. *hugs*
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  • And to add - I'm so sorry you're having a tough time. I was MIA for most of March and April [well, not posting as much] because the grief was exhausting for me, too. Thanks to counseling, I've started to get through that, but it's still hard. It's good to see you checking in; I hope the days start to get better soon.
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  • ***SIGGY WARNING***

     

     

     

     

     

    Sorry you're going through a difficult time.  I think the point where you're at is the point where we all sort of come to the realization that this is life now whether we want to believe it or not.  As far as memorial services, we've done a few balloon releases.  I bring sharpies with me and everyone writes little messages to Corbin before we release them.  We've sang songs and I've read a book.  (We've done 2. One was the day we did our March of Dimes walk because that would have been his 6 month birthday and then we had another little ceremony on his 1st birthday). Wishing you peace and love.

     

    In memory of Corbin Scott 10/28/11-12/3/11. Heaven got another angel the night you left this world behind Heaven got a little better the day it took you away from me Missing you tonight, see you again sometime For now I'll close my eyes and dream of heaven tonight I'll love you forever I'll like you for always Now and Forever My baby you'll be

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  • We're struggling with this too. We're burying her on the 18th. We already had a little service but want to do something at the cemetary.

    Perhaps a reading of poems/letters/stories, releasing balloons or butterflies, going around and sharing what impact/lessons your LO has taught people, sing songs, pray. We did the sharing thing at her funeral, and I really liked hearing how her short life impacted our families and friends.

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    Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013

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  • I'm so sorry that you are at this point. It comes around for all of us and I remember it well. You're right grief is exhausting. I know you will get to know and see your new you in time. It can be very hard looking back and knowing how you used to be, and then to know you may never return to certain parts of the old you. I'm so sorry. HUGS

    For the memorial service, I like the idea of a balloon/butterfly release. Maybe a donation in their names a park bench, a tree, etc. I know you'll come up with the perfect idea.

    -Shawnna

    TTC #1 since 10/2010 RE consult 6/2011 PCOS (known) MFI IVF #1 w/ICSI 2/2012 BFP TRIPLETS our angels grew wings at 19.5 weeks 6.25.12 IVF #2 2/2013 Sono shows tissue Hysteroscopy needed Changing RE www.chasingstarsisbettertogether.com Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers ~~~all welcome~~~
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