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Late Term and Child Loss
Mrs Nice
member
PAL CheckIn
Mrs Nice
member
Hello Ladies.
Welcome to Friday PAL Checkin! This CheckIn is for everyone who is parenting after a loss. If you have an older child or a rainbow baby or both you are welcome to share here.
I hope everyone is having a good week. If anyone has any suggestions for questions, please don't be shy!
Where are you in your PAL journey?
What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently?
QOTW: How do you answer the question, "how many children do you have?" How does this question make you feel and do you ever ask it yourself?"
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
Welcome to Friday PAL Checkin! This CheckIn is for everyone who is parenting after a loss. If you have an older child or a rainbow baby or both you are welcome to share here.
I hope everyone is having a good week. If anyone has any suggestions for questions, please don't be shy!
Where are you in your PAL journey?
What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently?
QOTW: How do you answer the question, "how many children do you have?" How does this question make you feel and do you ever ask it yourself?"
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: PAL CheckIn
Where are you in your PAL journey? Its been over 2yrs since loosing Ian and Zachary is 14mo now. Yikes!!
What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently? I started back to work in February but it was only part time. Last week I started back full time. It SUCKS!!! I hate being away from him all day, and I find that I am actually jealous of my DH since he works afternoons and gets to spend the mornings with Z. By the time I get home from work it is usually after 9 pm, so it's just bath and bed for Z. I am VERY lucky and have an amazing babysitter to take Z in the afternoons, and he loves going there but I just wish it could be me spending the day with him. I hate being away from him.
QOTW: How do you answer the question, "how many children do you have?" How does this question make you feel and do you ever ask it yourself?" I HATE this question and haven't asked it to anyone since my loss. It's one if those automatic questions ppl ask when you meet someone, and I find that I dread it. I get a stab to my heart every time. Depending on the situation, I will answer that Z is my second but I'm a first time mom. Other times, like if its a complete stranger at the supermarket, I will answer that he is my first, then I usually have a good cry later.
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Can't wait for the weekend to start so I can play with my little boy! I hope it's nice so I can take him to the park. Last time he was so brave and went down the slide all by himself. I can't believe how big he is already!
Where are you in your PAL journey?
It's been 18 (almost 19) months since we lost Bri.
What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently?
I worry about them whenever they go off to school and when they come home since they walk to and from. I always worry that one of these days they all won't make it back home. And they are 9, 11, and 12 and usually walk together or in a group too! Or I worry when my middle one is late coming home from a friends house and when he finally gets home I'll yell at him for being so late and not calling or just paying attention and coming home when he's supposed to...and also breath a sigh of relief he's home.
QOTW: How do you answer the question, "how many children do you have?" How does this question make you feel and do you ever ask it yourself?"
I don't like that question at all. I stopped asking that of people unless they tell me they have kids. Sometimes I'll tell them, other times I'll just say 3 then feel horrible about it afterwards. I also hate when I say I have 3 boys and everyone tells me 'oh..you should try for a little girl' or ask me do I want to try for a girl or I need a little girl or anything along those lines. It makes me so, so mad!! I just want to scream at them that I already had my girl and lost her and DUH! i want to try again so stfu! Sorry, people make me nuts sometimes!
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
Always Bri. A few days ago my sons had a concert thing for their school and in the row in front of us a boy about my middle son's age went to see his mom and little sister before going up with his class and I just sat there and just couldn't take my eyes off him holding his baby sister and wishing so much that my boys could have done the same thing with their little sister.
Where are you in your PAL journey?
Patricia should be just over 13 months. Anna is coming up on 4 months actual, 3 weeks adjusted.
What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently
Made it through my first week of work, it sucks. I am extremely jealous of DH who is a full time student and gets so much more time at home with her, though I am glad we don't have to put her in daycare.
QOTW: How do you answer the question, "how many children do you have?" How does this question make you feel and do you ever ask it yourself?"
I say: "Anna has a big sister who passed away last year." If they want more information, I give it, but usually they don't ask more. Since our loss, I never ask that question, or "Is this your first?"
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
We got more bad news about Anna's brain yesterday. The hydrocephalus she developed as a result of her brain bleeds which had been stable for our last few weeks in the NICU has progressed. Her ventricles are more swollen than ever and her neurosurgeon is pretty certain she will need a shunt. We are going to give it a little bit more, and the wait is going to kill me. I feel so helpless.
I'm just trying to get through this... I'm surrounded by other baby boys and pregnant women... I feel guilty bc I know I could've done some things better with my pregnancy... Hate my brother and others that have perfectly healthy children they don't want...