Dr's response to loss...

shandorfml2 · May 2013

So I saw my primary care doc for the first time since my loss yesterday. I had seen her for my physical 6 months ago, and was pregnant at the time. She didn't rememeber me, nor the fact that I had been pregnant. So I had to explain what happened and of course broke down. Her response was, "Wow, that's right up there with losing a parent." ........

Yeah. I think I will be getting a new doctor. She did redeem herself a bit and say she was surprised I was upright...

How would you have reacted?

pottermommy · May 2013

~~~Rainbow in siggy~~~

I don't hold my tongue really well so I would have probably flipped my lid. That was a purely insensitive comment and a dr. who deals with all kinds of loss, should have known better than to say that.

I'm with you, get a new doctor, not least of which b/c she didn't even remember who you were.

I am sorry you had to deal with that.

~

*

~

Noethola · May 2013

Yeah, I would probably not take that well at all. I agree that a Dr should have a better response to such a loss. I am so very sorry she said that. It would have made me cry even harder.

shandorfml2 · May 2013

Yep. Totally insane. She then said it would have been better if we didn't know she'd passed because then during labor I would have been hopefully and not upset...

yikes.

OSUWifey09 · May 2013

I keep forgetting that most people have a primary doctor and an OB. My PCM and my OB were the same person, so I only ever see one doctor.

If that had happened to me, though, I would've been pissed. That's a crappy, insensitive reaction. I'm so sorry. I would be switching doctors.

Noethola · May 2013

shandorfml2:
Yep. Totally insane. She then said it would have been better if we didn't know she'd passed because then during labor I would have been hopefully and not upset...
yikes.

Oh my word. Yeah, twice the reason to switch.

Williamandshawnna · May 2013

I am so sorry for your doctor to be insensitive. It is truly amazing how the craziest things come out of the mouths of those we think should know better. My follow up with my RE after losing triplets was horrid, he looked at me and said, "Well, we didn't want you to carry triplets to begin with." So I know how such a crazy comment can make you feel. I would change doctors, write a letter to the doctor why you are leaving and then also let your new doctor know why you left the last one.

Good Luck and HUGS

ctilley7911 · May 2013

shandorfml2:
Yep. Totally insane. She then said it would have been better if we didn't know she'd passed because then during labor I would have been hopefully and not upset...
yikes.

are you jk me what i thing to say. gos i am glade i knew before i had to deliver my baby boy i was at least as prepared for his loss as i could be i cant believe how i would of handled it if i thought he was fine but wasnt. good for you to get a new doctor. my doctor asked me if i could use anything like something to drink after i found out and i said some whisky and she said if i had some right now i be drinking with u.

i cant stand how my mother in law keeps acting like we are going through the same pain . when i was telling her what happened she was like of course this had to happen to our family and we will get through this. Now ik am fine with support, but she acts like me and her are going through the same thing she always has to act she is worse of then others i cant stand it. then she was like i wish u did o back to doctors sooner so this wouldn't of happened to us. My dr told me after i left the er he could of passed that night there was no knowing when i could of lost him. Or if a c/s would of even mattered he could of passed afterwards. I blame my self enough i dont need her help in doing so.

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