Am I crazy? — The Bump
2nd Trimester

Am I crazy?

Sorry in advance that this is so long. 

My husband is typically not one I would ever have a complaint about.  He's usually super-helpful and understanding especially when I'm pregnant and helps out a ton with our 1 year old.  Please tell me if I'm over-reacting about the current scenario I am in:

 We just moved to Mexico City for his job 2 months ago.   I don't speak Spanish and basically no one here speaks English, so I rely heavily on him and his Spanish in the meantime until I learn more.  

So, tonight, we went out for dinner, came home, my back was hurting so I got in bed with a heating pad and watched some tv.  In the meantime, he took the dog for a walk and happened to also get a small bottle of tequila while he was out.  He stopped drinking to lose weight and feel better in general since we got here and has only had a handful of drinks since we moved 2 months ago.  So, about 10:30 I get up to go get a drink from the kitchen, and he's gone, the tequila bottle is empty (200 ml bottle), and he's not answering his cell phone.  There is a very loud party with a dj happening in our building, and I'm ASSUMING he's there and is drunk but ok, but he isn't answering his phone, so I have no idea. My son is sleeping through the noise from the party, but I can't leave him here alone to go track down my husband.  For all I know he went out for a walk to get some sodas and got mugged and beaten and is bleeding on the street. 

So I'm pissed b/c I'm left to worry about him, but I'm even more pissed b/c I'm 22 weeks pregnant with a hurt back and a 1 year old in a country where I can't communicate with the people, thinking, what if I or my son had an emergency?  I just feel it was totally irresponsible of him and I'm so mad and basically feel abandoned.  It's just really irresponsible for a husband with a son and a pregnant wife, especially considering where we are (and I know NO ONE here I can call for help yet, except the freaking embassy).  

 I realize the hormones are surging these days, but really, 2 hours later and he still isn't answering his cell.  Would you be worried and pissed too?  

 

 

Lilypie First Birthday tickers

Re: Am I crazy?

  • You are not crazy. Everything you said makes complete sense. He should not of left without leaving a note. And she should be answering his phone. I would absolutely be pissed & so worried! I hope he is safe & will not repeat this pattern. 
  • No, you're not wrong for being upset at all. He should have told you he was leaving and where he was going. An ETA of his return would be nice, too. Oh, and to answer his cell when you call. Seriously, wtf. Is he 17? That was a pretty immature, irresponsible move on his part. Hopefully it's a one-time offense. 

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Loading the player...
  • imageRunaway22:

    Seriously, wtf. Is he 17?=

    Couldn't have said it better.  He's thirty-f'ing-five.  But tonight I feel like I married a teenager.

     He finally called me back at like 1:30. I was so mad at that point that I didn't give him a chance to talk and just gave him a piece of my mind and hung up.  It was loud in the background and he was laughing so I knew he was ok.  He called several times after that and I didn't answer and finally just turned off the phone. I suppose that was immature of me, too, but I was just over it.  by 2:30 he was still not home, and I guess I fell asleep.  Woke up at 5 and got up to pee (ahhh pregnancy) and he is asleep on the floor in the half-bath in the hall.  Didn't even make it to the couch, so i'm guessing he is (and will be tomorrow) paying for what he did.  

    Thanks for understanding and letting me vent.   


    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • imagecookie2279:
    imageRunaway22:

    Seriously, wtf. Is he 17?=

    Couldn't have said it better.  He's thirty-f'ing-five.  But tonight I feel like I married a teenager.

     He finally called me back at like 1:30. I was so mad at that point that I didn't give him a chance to talk and just gave him a piece of my mind and hung up.  It was loud in the background and he was laughing so I knew he was ok.  He called several times after that and I didn't answer and finally just turned off the phone. I suppose that was immature of me, too, but I was just over it.  by 2:30 he was still not home, and I guess I fell asleep.  Woke up at 5 and got up to pee (ahhh pregnancy) and he is asleep on the floor in the half-bath in the hall.  Didn't even make it to the couch, so i'm guessing he is (and will be tomorrow) paying for what he did.  

    Thanks for understanding and letting me vent.   


    If you really want to make him suffer more tell him you want to get to know your surroundings more and take your LO to the park. Maybe I am just mean like that.

  • imagecookie2279:
    imageRunaway22:

    Seriously, wtf. Is he 17?=

    Couldn't have said it better.  He's thirty-f'ing-five.  But tonight I feel like I married a teenager.

     He finally called me back at like 1:30. I was so mad at that point that I didn't give him a chance to talk and just gave him a piece of my mind and hung up.  It was loud in the background and he was laughing so I knew he was ok.  He called several times after that and I didn't answer and finally just turned off the phone. I suppose that was immature of me, too, but I was just over it.  by 2:30 he was still not home, and I guess I fell asleep.  Woke up at 5 and got up to pee (ahhh pregnancy) and he is asleep on the floor in the half-bath in the hall.  Didn't even make it to the couch, so i'm guessing he is (and will be tomorrow) paying for what he did.  

    Thanks for understanding and letting me vent.   


    So annoying. Sorry you had to deal with that. I bet his head hurts this morning;)  my fianc? is 36 and he knows better than to do stuff like that. Make sure not to baby him this morning and put him on baby duty today, hangover or not, lol.

  • Oh my god I'd be furious!! Sorry you had to deal with that and glad to hear he's ok.
    BFP #1 - 12/7/2012 - EDD 8/14/2013 - DD born 8/17/2013
    BFP #2 - 3/31/2014 - EDD 12/6/2014 - Natural miscarriage on 4/28/2014
    BFP #3 - 8/4/2014 - EDD 4/12/2015 - Chemical Pregnancy discovered on 8/13/2014

     image

  • I don't think you are crazy. Your husband made a mistake. It was irresponsible. I would be worried and upset as well. 

    As an aside, I suggest you get really really busy with immersion learning of Spanish. Have your husband write down the sentences "I have an emergency", "Please help me", and "Where is the hospital" "do you speak English". Practice them. Carry them in your diaper bag. Get to know the grocers in the area (I promise they've noticed you!) and other vendors. 

    You really really really have an opportunity to get great at it fast being where you are. You can't rely on your husband especially if you are a SAHM. Is there a class offered by your husband's work? Maybe the American Embassy there can offer some courses for you? Its really important. Is there a group of coworker's wives that can help you out there? Reach out!

    Good luck, but with your original situation, yes, I'd be upset.  


    LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:



    Lilypie First Birthday tickers

  • Thanks everyone. You are all so right about learning the language ASAP. I know enough to buy groceries, eat out, etc but in an emergency it would be too much.
    He has been sleeping and puking pretty much all day. I haven't said a word to him but gave him a dirty look when he came out in the living room to take the laptop how we watch tvand go back in the bedroom. He looked at me and said "yes?" in a mean voice. I don't know if he even remembers how mad I was on the phone last night or why I'm mad. My feeling is if you're well enough to watch tv, then help out with our son instead of leaving it all to me AGAIN. About to take my little one to the park for the rest of the afternoon and try to enjoy the rest of the day. I refuse to fight in front of my son so we will have to talk after he goes to be or tomorrow. Sorry if there are typos. On iPhone.
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • It makes sense that you would be upset but realize that the fathers of some babies really do abandon them like, forever. Consider yourself lucky that your husband is just inconsiderate.
  • No, you are not crazy or out of line.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards