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My son is spoiled... Help!

jutimalajutimala member
in Two Under 2

This baby was a surprise. LJ was suppose to be the baby so I treated him as such. Everyone would say that I was spoiling him (always holding him, picking him up, co sleeping, etc.) and I would say that I really didn't care because I was not having anymore children. Well, things change and now I need LJ to unattach just a little bit. He wont let J put him to sleep, he won't sleep in his crib at night, he wants to be held all the time, when I am not on the floor with him, giving him most of my attention. I created this monster, I prayed for him and when he came I have showered him with all this attention. This is my fault but now I need someone to tell me what I can do about it.

BTW, DD is a great big sister and is super excited about the new baby. She will be going to school in the fall and is pretty independent so I am not too worried about her, as long as I make sure to keep her involved.

Thanks.

Pinky 12/07 : Sparky 02/12 : Rocky 08/13 

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Re: My son is spoiled... Help!

  • LC122LC122 member
    I would try giving him positive attention for acts of independence.
    How old is he? Is he mobile?
    If he's walking, try getting him to do little tasks around the house. "Can you throw this away for Mommy?" "Can you help Mommy put the clothes in the washer?"
    Really praise and play up "big boy" acts. Then, when the new baby comes, he can help you do things for the baby. "Can you bring Mommy the diaper?"
    Also really be happy when others participate in his care. "Can you walk with Daddy to the car?"

    My H's advice is to take a week vacation and leave everything up to Dad. Then your son wouldn't have a choice but to find other attachments. Although I've read that it's healthy to form multiple attachments, I'm not sure that's the way to do it.
    Good Luck!
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  • NNGnomeNNGnome member

    I believe in attachment parenting and breastfed DS until 15 months, he was therefore never put to bed by DH as I fed him and put him to bed for every nap and every night.

    Since I stopped Bfing, we first started weaning DS by DH taking him for naps at the weekend (one nap at first then two etc), then once he had got used to that (it was only a couple weeks), I left an hour before DSs bedtime and DH put him to bed. DS hated it and cried for over an hour, but he went to sleep, and DH now is doing bedtime more and more, most nights DS goes down just fine (if he is sick he still wants mummy but that's normal I think).

    I think you just have to start, if you are positive and don't back down (i.e. if Daddy does sth, mummy can't step in if it's not going well), they learn pretty quickly that both parents can be relied upon. Same with sleeping, sometime DS will cry for ages before naps, he is not hurt he is just trying to get out of nap time, you just have to put up a united front and when he learns that his only choice is sleeping in the crib he will do it, I am not saying it won't be hard, and there have been times before now where my DS has cried for an entire hour and not napped at all, but I just go in reassure him occasionally, but let him know it is nap time and if he chooses not to nap then he can play quietly in his crib.

    If DD is independent you know you have done it once, so you can do it again..good luck :)

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Diagnosed with Anti little c antibodies. DS1 7.11.11 - Anaemia and Jaundice. 10 days in the NICU, 1 exchange transfusion and 4 blood transfusions. DS2 29.8.13 - Anaemia 7 days in the NICU and 1 exchange transfusion. Both are now happy and healthy. 

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