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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
UMichGirl
member
Does anyone else feel like you're still in "survival mode"?
UMichGirl
member
DS is just over 10 months old. I know he's a high maintenance kid...and I do realize that things ARE better than they were back in our colic/pre-MSPI-diagnosis days. But...seriously, I feel like I'm barely hanging on by a thread. I'm a teacher so I'm hoping that things will get somewhat better in the summer when I'm home and able to focus on DS more. But between DS being up at the crack of dawn (I'm talking 5:30/6:30 every single morning), going to work and teaching all day long, coming home to a baby who needs constant attention, is teething, can't go to sleep on his own (we'd start sleep training but I didn't think you were supposed to do that if they're sick/teething and he's been both this month), is up at night, is going through an eating strike, whines and yells (because he's teething? mad? could be anything...) all evening when we're home with him, washing bottles, doing laundry, trying to find time to go grocery shopping, trying to make dinner with a DS who wants that constant attention, checking papers, making lesson plans, cleaning the house (HA)...I just can't do it all. I'm NOT doing it all. DH feels the same way I do...we're just completely BURNT OUT.
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love DS. But we'd always talked about having two kids....and with the way things have gone with DS and being 10 months in and still feeling completely frazzled, frustrated, and exhausted, we are 99% sure that he will be a one and only. I can't go through this again.
Anyone else feeling the same?
Mr. & Mrs. UMich! July 2006! :-)
DX: High FSH/DOR
It took 44 cycles, just over 3 years, 6 failed IUI's in MI, and 1 round of IVF at CCRM to get our BFP!
Beta #1 (9dp5dt) = 206, Beta #2 (11dp5dt) = 438
1st u/s @ 6w5d = 11/11/11 = ONE little bean! HB 120bpm!
?Our Baby Boy Born June 26th, 2012?
DX: High FSH/DOR
It took 44 cycles, just over 3 years, 6 failed IUI's in MI, and 1 round of IVF at CCRM to get our BFP!
Beta #1 (9dp5dt) = 206, Beta #2 (11dp5dt) = 438
1st u/s @ 6w5d = 11/11/11 = ONE little bean! HB 120bpm!
?Our Baby Boy Born June 26th, 2012?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Does anyone else feel like you're still in "survival mode"?
Yes, very much so. We have been thinking about one and done. DD is great about everything but just does not sleep!
I am lucky to mostly SAH now, but I wonder when I will be able to get more than 2h of continuous sleep.
I stay at home and often still feel like I am in survival mode. I can't imagine how it would be if I was working. However, I will say that things got a lot better after we did sleep training. I agree you shouldn't do sleep training if he is sick or you know he is teething but I also think there is never going to be a perfect time to start so I think if you think that sleep training is the right approach, at some point, you have to just bite the bullet and do it. I am not saying that you have put it off when you could have started, but I did put it off for awhile, making excuses for why it wasn't the best time. The first few days sucked but now her sleep is SO much better.
Good luck! t&p's!
I felt this way with my DS1. I literally thought I was going die from about 10 months to 18 months. I don't know what changed at that point but things got easier, I got used to the whole motherhood thing, we settled in and low and behold a few months later we started talking about having another. This is a very hard stage. You will get through it...it will get better!!!
And just as an aside - my DS2 will be one in a few weeks and you know what, it's still a hard stage but having been through it once it's just so much easier this time. Everything is so much easier this time. Hang in there!
Married 8/27/2011
BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
Married 8/27/2011
BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
This.
Sleep training makes all the difference. I would make it a priority once school's out; life will get much better after a few difficult nights of sleep training. I'm also a SAHM and can't imagine what working on top of everything would be like, so give yourself a break... and get that LO sleep trained asap.
Married 8/27/2011
BFP #1 9/28/2011 DS born 5/22/2012
BFP #2 4/24/2013 m/c 4/25/2013 at 4w
BFP #3 1/31/2014 DD born 10/14/2014
BFP #4 1/20/2016 m/c 2/12/2014 at 7w2d
BFP #5 8/19/2016 DS2 born 4/29/2017
BFP #6 3/7/2018 EDD 11/18/2018
I'm a SAHM and feel that way some days! I give you mad props for working! I couldn't imagine doing both. DD takes up my day! I don't have a second thought for me, let alone a job!
But I do think/hope/pray it gets better- I mean come on, look at all the moms out there with 5, 6 kids!!! haha
DH and I were talking about trying again when DD turned one, but I think we are going to wait maybe until 1 and 1/2 or 2.
Teething is tough. DD is going through it now and man oh man. You can read about teething and having babies all you want, but you have no idea how it is going to be until DD/DS is here- looking at you- like now what mom?
Hang in there mama! You seem to have it together- I know my DH and I have a routine, if you will. He never was up with DD for night feedings and such (which is a whole other story I could go into...but won't) haha but I get up with her during the night and he gets up with her in the am, no matter what time- 6, 7, or 8- DH gets her. It's our unwritten/unspoken arrangement- haha. Perhaps a schedule or trading night/early mornings with DH so you can get a little extra sleep.
Honestly, I'm worn out just reading about your schedule. I really feel for you. I work full time too, but I hire help. I can't imagine doing it all without some assistance.
Is there any chance you could hire a mother's helper for, say $5/hour, to help you fold laundry, clean bottles, play with LO while you cook dinner or do some chores? I'm talking a young, eager highschool student that loves kids and wants some experience, but wouldn't necessarily be left alone yet with an infant or toddler? I have a 13 year old come for 2 hours per week and she is brilliant. I wrote a short list of our evening routine and laid down expectations for what she would do. Then I "trained" her. She folds laundry, makes bottles, gives DD dinner, sets up her outfits for the next week, and even bathes her (under my supervision).
Another idea is to swap babysitting with another mom? Switch off a couple hours each week?
Can DH take LO off your hands for a bit?
I certainly support your venting here, and don't mean to imply that these solutions will make your life instantly better. But I do think that there may be some opportunity out there to help you out.
Best of luck!
Yes, I'm a SAHM and that has been so difficult. I have chronic depression and it makes it really hard to cope with the day to day work that comes along with having a high needs child. I find that getting out of the house helps a lot. Also, support groups are great. I would have waited for a very long time before having another child, but I'm currently pregnant with a little surprise baby so we are in for a treat! haha
LO is 9 months, and between teething, getting sick and now we are dealing with him not being able to eat table food (he gags and throws up) he went through a 3 week stint of sleeping through the night, but that stopped. He was even able to fall asleep on his own for months, but the last 1.5 months its been hades trying to get him to sleep. I still want more kids
. just waiting to see if/when this all changes.
yes there are days where I feel like I can't do this anymore (DH is leaving for two weeks! EEK!) but then we have good days, where LO is crawling and "talking" and laughing and super cute. DH and I have been at each others throats the past week so I asked SIL to baby sit so H and I could go out for a bit. I think that really helped. You need you time and you need together time!
Hugs! Mothering and working is hard! I also work out of the house full time. I'm lucky that DS is a calm baby but at 10 months, he still wakes up 2 to 3 times a night to nurse. It is exhausting. I keep telling myself this is temporary, everything is temporary...
I posted a week or so ago about having a second. I'm totally in the same place mentally as I would like to have another baby but can't fathom it right now. I would go insane. However, every baby is different and the temporary insanity would probably be worth it to have kids who can entertain one another. Friends who only have one say that it was easier as babies but harder with a toddler because mommy and daddy are their only playmates. However, at least you can switch off.