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Blended Families
bosoxy
member
Just need to vent
bosoxy
member
We have a visitation coming up in June. BM is trying everything she can to only let DH see the kids for 16 hours out of the 3 weeks they will be in the States. She keeps trying to misinterpret the CO to how she wants it to read. It is getting super annoying. She doesn't get how much it is going to hurt the kids to only see their dad for that little amount of time.
Anyway, we got her response to our motion last night and I kept dreaming about it. I woke up at 1:30AM thinking of responses to her response and couldn't go back to sleep. I get so tangled up in all of this and I think about it more than my own life. I wish I knew how to separate my type A personality from this easier.
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Re: Just need to vent
The only suggestion I have is to let your H handle it. They are his kids and his ex wife. I am a firm believer in the parent handling all court and communications with their exes and kids. You can be supportive but in the end he should be the one responding/communicating and making plans/decesions.
My FI deals with his exwife and makes plans with his kids. I do not fret over it. If he kids don't see him then that is something that he needs to work out with them.
On the other hand it is clear that my DS's BF's GF is constantly getting involved and emailing or texting me. And honestly it just makes things worse. I want for my son's father to make decesions for himself and my child. I can say that if she weren't in the picture he probably would have a lot less of a role in my son's life because he isn't motivated enough to make the effort himself. And I think that is pretty sad.
Dmnds, she didn't say she was handling everything for her DH or anything of the sort. She didnt say she communicates for him or does anything you suggested from your situation. She just said she was stressed and didn't really need an attempted guilt trip for worrying about her DH and kids.
Bosoxy, I'm sorry you are stressing and unable to sleep. I am type A as well, and tend to over think and stress over things that are out of my control. I just take deep breaths and try to focus on things I enjoy, such as reading a new book or working out. I try to keep reminding myself that stress is unhealthy and you don't ever want to let BM or anyone for that matter, negatively affect your health. I hope you can find some way to cope with it and I wish you luck with getting more time with the kids.
Exactly. I stay out of it as much as possible. But it's a part of our life. Not to mention she tried to drag my son and I into this battle. Oh and the court wants to hear from me this time. The court finally believes DH that BM is a control freak and needs to be put in her place. They also told her that she should contact me if she has concerns about the visit! long story. So I do have to be involved, wish I could just be loving step mom and not deal with the rest but support DH. She just makes me stress out. And I have so much going on besides her. Baby on the way, layoffs at work, finals at school, helping my son with his schoolwork... It just never ends.