Loss CheckIn

Mrs Nice · May 2013

Hello Ladies!

Welcome to our Friday checkin!

I am sorry to have to welcome new loss moms this week but am so glad that you have found us. I hope we can bring each other some much needed comfort and support. Please feel free to join in when you are ready and share as much or as little as you wish. Also, if you have any questions you would like answered, just ask! Any lurkers out there please don't be shy, we would like to be able to support you too.

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

QOTW: What were some of the most thoughtful things that others did for you after your loss?

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

HullGut · May 2013

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

I have been to acupuncture and our support group. Both of these things have really helped me.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

My goal is to lose some weight and be more active. I joined Jenny Craig this week so that should help me lose weight. I am trying to go for a long walk every day. It is important to do these things for myself its just hard to get in the mindset.

QOTW: What were some of the most thoughtful things that others did for you after your loss?

My friend beth showed up 2 days after Hunter passed with a bracelet with a heart that had his name engraved. My best friend Jasmin came over every day for about 2 weeks once I was home. She had a cup of tea with me and just listened. My BMB raised a lot on money and got me a meal delivery service for about a month. Those ladies were amazing.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

Hunter would be 6 months old next week. Its so hard to think it has been 6 months without him. I am feeling a little better but I just wish he was here. I miss him so much.

Noethola · May 2013

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? I am doing a 10k walk tomorrow. I will have a lot of mixed emotions when doing it because I signed up in Nov (expecting to walk off the baby weight, but not with this outcome.)

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Finish the walk.

QOTW: What were some of the most thoughtful things that others did for you after your loss? They came and sat with us. It was mostly family, but there were others (some I had never met before) that just came to deliver meals and such. At the time, I had a lot of anxiety, since I thougth I would cry in front of strangers. But, they all told me they were ready for the tears at any time.

On Tuesday, my husband's track team dedicated a tree at the park they practice at. The girls (middle school age) had prayers and poems they read. They put up a plaque as well "Strength, motivation and courage - For Elsie." More tears from me, to say the least. But it was so nice to have this happen almost 5 months later, because I know they all still care and remember her with us.

shandorfml2 · May 2013

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? Not sure. Probably. Made it through another week of work...

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? Get through Mother's day, and her burial

QOTW: What were some of the most thoughtful things that others did for you after your loss? Hmm. sent cards and flowers. Aknowledged that I am a mother

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Her burial. Not sure what I want to do...want to have some readings but don't know what. Anyone know of any good poems or readings that they liked or used?

MAYashes86 · May 2013

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? I have been thinking of Benjamin more & more without crying, even though I miss him desperately I?ve been able to think of how happy I was when I was pregnant with him.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? To go to group on Monday.

QOTW: What were some of the most thoughtful things that others did for you after your loss? I had a few aunts send cards, and my best friend paid for dinner for us. My husband?s co-workers (who I used to work with) sent flowers.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? We?re going on vacation in a few weeks, and although its supposed to be relaxing, I?m sad about it because I know we wouldn't be going if Benjamin was alive. I mostly want to just hide in my house forever.

angelsnight · May 2013

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? I went to my therapist the other day, which was really helpful. I also went to the cemetary by myself and just talked to my daughter for a while. It was the first time I really "spoke" to her and it felt really good.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? I go back to work on Monday after having six weeks off. My most basic plan is just to make it through the day on Monday, and then each day from there.

QOTW: What were some of the most thoughtful things that others did for you after your loss? Made difficult phone calls...the idea of having to call and tell anybody what happaned was horrible, so people doing those things for me was a Godsend. My aunt called my boss, my friend canceled my dentist appt for me and she also called the store where our registry was to have it hidden. It's hard for me to depend on people without feeling guilty, but I just couldn't deal with anything else and it felt good to take anything we needed to do and hand it out to other people who were more than happy to do it.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? I'm anxious to try again. I see my RE on the 14th and I find myself actually looking forward to it.

schulme2 · May 2013

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? I don't know where to start. We lost our baby girl 37 hours after delivering her an her twin brother at 25 weeks. I don't know how to process this.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? Just get through today. I plan to just sit in the NICU with Walt as long as I can.

QOTW: What were some of the most thoughtful things that others did for you after your loss? My sister brought me an engraved frame with her name, birthdate and angel wings next to her brothers name and birthdate. They also all went over and cleaned me house. My dad is having a really hard time and said he was naming his garden "Mary's Garden".

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? How do I tell people what just happened? Some people just found out I'm pregnant and then all of a sudden, I had these babies and already lost one and the other is still fighting hard.

OSUWifey09 · May 2013

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

I'm still in counseling, which is actually going really well [I started three weeks ago]. I can feel myself moving forward towards acceptance, which is something I never thought would happen.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

I just want to make it through the next two weeks without pulling my hair out and stressing out. Mother's Day, my 2ww, a couple of intense counseling sessions...it could be a very, very long two weeks.

QOTW: What were some of the most thoughtful things that others did for you after your loss?

Honestly, I had people who didn't say much at all. They just said, "I have no idea what to say to you, because sorry just isn't enough. But I'm here, and I'll listen, and I love you." It helped that people were willing to listen and be there for me, and they weren't afraid to hear my story.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

Ugh. So much. My therapist wants me to write a goodbye letter to Devon, and he wants me to incorporate it into a balloon launch we plan on doing on Mother's Day. I'm mentally ready to write this letter, but I know it will be so hard. I'm also trying hard not to play the "what if" game during this 2ww. I can't hype myself up and be super hopeful, just to crash when AF comes around. I did that in December, and it almost broke me. I have to stay strong.

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