How do you stay positive?

jfb29 · May 2013

So I started my 3rd medicated cycle. I was doing well being positive and was pretty excited. Well, this week it has all gone downhill and I can't help but worry that this next cycle won't go as planned either and that I will never be able to have a child myself. I have always had a tendency to think negatively and plan for the worst so I am pleasantly surprised. But this negativity is pulling me down. I was wondering if any of you have ways that help you stay more positive - maybe I can steal an idea or two to help me get through this!

Thanks!

twistsandturnsto2 · May 2013

Totally agree with PP about this whole process being full of days that are positive ones, and days that I'm unable to think that way. It's hard to be positive all the time, so don't feel bad if you have to wallow in some self pity every now and then, but just make sure that you are not letting the self pity take over.

I just keep trying to remind myself that we are doing everything we can to add to our family and that even if we never end up with a take home baby, DH and I are leaps and bounds stronger together now than we would have ever been without this struggle.

RunCC37 · May 2013

Great advice above. Remember you are allowed to have a pity party from time to time because IF sucks!!! But make sure you decide on an end time otherwise you'll just get stuck. Find something distracting to do and just keep swimming. No matter how low I feel one day, the next day is almost always better.

mmhopeful · May 2013

When I focus on planning visits with friends i haven't seen in a while, plan time reading the magazines in the magazine rack and focusing on my hobbies (sewing, knitting, travel), I feel like time passes but in a positve manner. I have had bad days, and agree that a good cry, a mini-pity-party, and a hug from my husband really made a difference. I created a new plan and began again. Look to what you CAN control, vs. what is not always within our control on this IF journey. Smile

I'm actually planning out a menu for Mother's Day for a picnic with my husband. We're seeing our Moms the day before and are focusing our time on each other and celebrating in that way. Still debating our destination, but am really excited!

niffie · May 2013

I'm going to give an honest answer. I don't.

Not that I'm a constant blubbering mess or debbie downer, but I find it better for my mental health to not allow myself to feel massive hope or optimism anymore, because the let down on CD1 hurts even worse then. If you ask a shrink, they would probably tell you that is not healthy, but for me, it's what works. And I'm ok with that. One day, if I get a positive result, then I will be shocked and elated. But I do what my doc tells me to do, eat what I should, don't drink what I shouldn't, and make sure I do everything as perfectly as I can... and then in the 2WW like now, I remain neutral and just count the days until I can test.

In the mean time though, I've focused on organizing and redecorating my house (on an extreme low budget), trying to visit friends, and trying to work more hours to pay for more treatments. Like a PP said, it's all about doing things that you can control when you've lost control of your quest for motherhood.

olson2903 · May 2013

I recently went and bought a small, colorful notebook at Target. I then went through my calendar and insurance claims and began writing our entire process down. I started at the beginning of the process back in June with my crappy doctor. I wrote what the appointment was for, and if I remember what was said at the appointments. I list my CD, the u/s with follicle sizes, what was said or talked about at the appointment, who I met with, prescriptions, ANYTHING. We did our second IUI yesterday and now I'm going to write down accomplishments for each day of our 2WW.

This has helped me a lot so far. It helps me feel more apart of each appointment because I also have the information recorded and readily available. But it mostly helps when I am having a bad day. I can go and reread everything that we've been through and think WOW, look how far we've come since then!

And, I BAKE!!! Find a new recipe on the internet and try it. We did a butterfinger cake last week, and now I'm going to make a chocolate chip cookie dough cake for my brothers birthday tomorrow. Baking is time consuming and fun

HUGS

jfb29 · May 2013

Thanks for the support ladies! I definitely allow myself pity parties at times. I've been redecorating, baking, whatever I can do. IF is just so hard. Part of it is my personality and being positive has always been a challenge for me. I'll just keep on trucking I guess it is all any of us can do!

Kristinfm · May 2013

This is one of my biggest struggles right now. I am generally a very positive person and always tend to think 'glass half full'. However, that has become really hard for me in regards to infertility. I usually start a cycle off thinking/feeling very positive, but then part way through, I start telling myself that I need to be realistic so that I can avoid the disappointment as much as possible. Finding balance between being positive and being realistic is so hard for me right now. You are not alone!

I do try to support and pamper myself as much as possible. I also try to pursue other things hat bring me happiness to give my mind a break from all things IF related. I just started beekeeping this spring!

hugs to you:)

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