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XP - Help with Homesick Toddler

GrayGhost13GrayGhost13 member
in December 2010 Moms

I posted this on Parenting, too, for more responses, but if you'd like to respond over here, either way I appreciate any suggestions.

This may be a P&R in a little while, but I just wanted to see if I could get any quick ideas or suggestions for a very homesick toddler.

We haven't done a vacation in a while (ok almost a year), but I had a chance to bring DS and DH on a work trip with me, so we're staying three nights in a hotel about six or seven hours drive from home.

Last night was our first night here. DS had fun walking and going to dinner and playing in our hotel room, and he seemed to be in good spirits until we all got ready for bed and he realized he was expected to sleep there. He immediately started crying and saying, "home."

We tried to explain that we were spending the night there, and we tried offering him some familiar snacks, toys, movies etc. from home, but he was having none of it. We tried role playing putting his doll to bed, no interest in it. He has a language delay, so it's hard for him to express his feelings but we did try to talk about it. We asked him whether he missed a particular item at home, like a toy, and he said no. We asked him whether he missed our dogs and cat, and he said yes. So we looked at a bunch of photos of the pets, and that calmed him down for a while, but when he got sleepy, he started crying inconsolably and banging on our hotel room door, begging to go home. This lasted for about two hours, and the first thing he did when he woke up was ask to go home.

After we were up for a while, he cheered up and he seemed to have fun today, but I am worried he's going to melt down again tonight.

Any suggestions? We have to stay at least tonight because I'm working all day today, and it will be too late to drive home. Also, we have a week-long vacation booked for June, so even advice that won't help now but will help for next time are appreciated.

 

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Re: XP - Help with Homesick Toddler

  • pitterpatter129pitterpatter129 member

    Nate does this when we go to Walmart.  "Go our house! Go home!"  :)  Maybe talk about the night arrangement randomly today?  That way it's not a huge "surprise" at bedtime.  I know N does better with change when we lay it all out for him.  I even have to tell him the step by step bedtime routine 30 min beforehand each night to avoid a meltdown.  Good luck!  Maybe he'll adjust quicker tonight!

     

     

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  • GrayGhost13GrayGhost13 member
    Thanks! I think I will talk about it a bit more with him. I did try to talk to him about the trip for a few days before we went, but I am not sure he understood me because vacations were so far out of his everyday frame of reference. Like you said, I'm hoping tonight goes better since he'll know better what to expect.
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  • kj07kj07 member
    it won't help for this trip, but maybe for the June trip, let him pick out one of Dixie's toys to snuggle with if he misses her.  And/or bring a picture of the two of them together (like the beautiful one at the lake/beach that you shared).
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  • GrayGhost13GrayGhost13 member

    imagekj07:
    it won't help for this trip, but maybe for the June trip, let him pick out one of Dixie's toys to snuggle with if he misses her.  And/or bring a picture of the two of them together (like the beautiful one at the lake/beach that you shared).

    Thanks, the pictures did seem to help, so maybe if he had his own copy that he could look at any time it would be helpful.

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  • mamaholmes2010mamaholmes2010
    imagekj07:
    it won't help for this trip, but maybe for the June trip, let him pick out one of Dixie's toys to snuggle with if he misses her.  And/or bring a picture of the two of them together (like the beautiful one at the lake/beach that you shared).
    These are great ideas! Last year we had a similar issue with O when we had to move out of our old house and couldn't move into our new one yet, so we stayed with my parents. He kept saying "home". So I explained to him that "home" is wherever Momma, Dada, and Oliver are together-not a physical place. That our house was the place but our home was the three of us together. That seemed to get him to at least be comfortable enough at my parents. I recently had the same opportunity with a work trip and the whole time he kept saying "momma, dadda, owawa, home" and then he would give us a hug. So I think he felt sad not to be in his bed, but comforted that we were all together.
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  • GrayGhost13GrayGhost13 member

    imagemamaholmes2010:
    imagekj07:
    it won't help for this trip, but maybe for the June trip, let him pick out one of Dixie's toys to snuggle with if he misses her.  And/or bring a picture of the two of them together (like the beautiful one at the lake/beach that you shared).
    These are great ideas! Last year we had a similar issue with O when we had to move out of our old house and couldn't move into our new one yet, so we stayed with my parents. He kept saying "home". So I explained to him that "home" is wherever Momma, Dada, and Oliver are together-not a physical place. That our house was the place but our home was the three of us together. That seemed to get him to at least be comfortable enough at my parents. I recently had the same opportunity with a work trip and the whole time he kept saying "momma, dadda, owawa, home" and then he would give us a hug. So I think he felt sad not to be in his bed, but comforted that we were all together.

    Aww! Big Smile

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  • jarebearsmomjarebearsmom member
    With June, maybe make him a little photo book that he can help color or create with pictures of him at home with the animals. Hopefully after last night he will be more prepared for tonight
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  • lrn327lrn327 member

    Ahh, sorry it's so tough!  We're going on a trip in a couple days and we've been talking it up for months.  He's so excited that I'm hoping it willl override any anxiety.  We're going on a plane and we're going to pretend that too this weekend so he'll be used to it.  Can you play "pretend trip" in advance for your next trip?  Hope that makes sense!

    You're not staying near me by chance are you??  If so, we can do a playdate, ha ha!  :-) 

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  • GrayGhost13GrayGhost13 member
    imagelrn327:

    You're not staying near me by chance are you?? nbsp;If so, we can do a playdate, ha ha! nbsp;:nbsp;


    We are! But we are leaving Saturday morning. We will prob do the aquarium and world of coke today. It would be short notice but if you can come out let me know!
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