Am I being selfish?

olson2903 · May 2013

So my DH's job keeps changing their commissions structure, and its messing with his income. He just called and told me they changed it again, and it is essentially an unattainable number and even his manager & district manager agree. He said he wants to quit by the end of May. I told him that he shouldn't because it will totally F*** us over with our current health insurance. I have already met the max & deductible this year thanks to my first surgery. And our insurance covers 50% of IUI's.

I have already had 2 surgeries and 2 IUI cycles (this month alone we did 2 inseminations). I got my laminaria out on Monday and had an IUI yesterday and my cervix was already almost closed. This means that if this cycle doesn't work, I will need yet again another surgery next cycle followed by an IUI.

I feel selfish telling him he can't quit. I'm a server (and actually make a decent income) but I dont get health insurance through my employer. Even if he doesn't reach his quota, he still has a base pay that with both our incomes we can live off of. I know he really hates working there, but at this point we're only paying 50% of the IUI's and have a bill for $2500 from my surgery.

I dont want to start over with a new insurance and who knows what their fertility coverage would be and their deductible & maximum...

curlylocks3 · May 2013

Well I wouldn't be on board with him quitting unless you had alternative insurance lined up since you can't gain insurance through your emplyer. Fertility treatments aside, I would not be comfortably willingly choosing to be uninsured.
However, if my husband was going to be miserable at his job and was working facingr unreasonable expectations I would encourage him to start job hunting. Even if his base salary alone is enough to live on, if he is unable to meet the assigned goal and that happens consistently I imagine it would affect his reviews, raises and job security.

ksgsmu · May 2013

curlylocks3:
Well I wouldn't be on board with him quitting unless you had alternative insurance lined up since you can't gain insurance through your emplyer. Fertility treatments aside, I would not be comfortably willingly choosing to be uninsured. However, if my husband was going to be miserable at his job and was working facingr unreasonable expectations I would encourage him to start job hunting. Even if his base salary alone is enough to live on, if he is unable to meet the assigned goal and that happens consistently I imagine it would affect his reviews, raises and job security.

my advice as well.... your not selfish, you are just scared. Talk to him about looking for another job with insurance before quitting. Maybe he will be willing to stick out a few months.

jfb29 · May 2013

As PPs said, you aren't being selfish. Having insurance nowadays is a must. He should start looking if he is unhappy, but not quite until he has something or a plan for something...

scbedi · May 2013

ksgsmu:
curlylocks3:
Well I wouldn't be on board with him quitting unless you had alternative insurance lined up since you can't gain insurance through your emplyer. Fertility treatments aside, I would not be comfortably willingly choosing to be uninsured. However, if my husband was going to be miserable at his job and was working facingr unreasonable expectations I would encourage him to start job hunting. Even if his base salary alone is enough to live on, if he is unable to meet the assigned goal and that happens consistently I imagine it would affect his reviews, raises and job security.
my advice as well.... your not selfish, you are just scared. Talk to him about looking for another job with insurance before quitting. Maybe he will be willing to stick out a few months.

all of this, well said!

olson2903 · May 2013

He started looking for jobs today, so that's good. But even if he does get a new job with insurance, it will kind of still suck having to pay all the deductibles and maybe even reach the maximums again with my surgeries...

PS his car broke down last night and its not worth fixing... Now we need a new car.

As the Notorious B.I.G. once rapped about, "Mo Money Mo Problems"... he must have been high cause thats totally not true! Mo money would solve my problems

ttuprincess · May 2013

Sorry about the car. It always seems like when it rains, it pours. I know it stinks to have to pay new deductibles but sometimes it is worth it. Good luck! Sending ((hugs)) your way.

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