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Adoption
Newborn Care Class
So tonight, my partner and I attended a newborn care class. According to the website, the class was supposed to cover the following:
The Development of Parenting Skills
? Growth and Development
? Meeting the Basic Needs of Children
? Basic Infant Care
? Parent Support Systems
? Safety and Accident Prevention
? Infant CPR (Cardio-Pulmonary Resuscitation)
Yeah.
Ok. The class covered breastfeeding. Pretty much that was it. At the beginning of class, the nurse asked everyone their due date etc., and what we were interested in learning. I explained that we were adopting a newborn in July, and that I was interested in fostering a bond with a child.
They went over how a newborn might look at birth, and then launched into what I'll call the lovey-dovey I love my baby and my baby loves me part of the class---with phrases like "when your baby gazes at you as you breastfeed you will instantly fall in love with each other" (gee, thanks, that's..uh, not helpful to me as an adoptive mom for at least 3 reasons). The rest of the class continued in much the same vein---how to breastfeed, why to breastfeed, the food to eat while breastfeeding etc.
I got up at one point and went to the ladies room because I was nearly in tears---both from the anxiety of things like a birth mom changing her mind after skin to skin contact, the sadness of my own infertility and the anger I was feeling at the lack of adoption-friendlyness in this class--so I missed the "pass around and hold the plastic baby" moment of class, but when I was back in, again, we were back at breastfeeding. We were asked what our "feeding plan" was, and I explained the current one, and I was encouraged to buy the supplemental nursing system (um, no. Not gonna happen. Not taping a capillary tube to my nipple so my baby can eat out of a plastic bag while "nursing")
We skipped the Infant CPR part, because we're signed up for a certification course in a few weeks.
All in all, this was a tremendous waste of time, energy, and money.
I'm feeling so angry right now- first, that the ability of these two nurses (one of whom is a doula and a LLL Leader) to handle having an adoptive couple in the room was null and void, second, that for all my adoption agency proclaims that it has "education" it doesn't have a lick of newborn care stuff available if you don't live close by to it (funny, since given that it took my SW 13 weeks to finish my homestudy because she was writing a lot of them, I'd assume that there were a few adoptive families in my area), and finally, because the class just wasn't advertised as a breast feeding class (there's a whole other breastfeeding class).
Argh.
So, I'm going to write a letter, and request a refund. But I'm just super sad and frustrated tonight.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Newborn Care Class
We had a similar, though not quite as extreme, experience.
We took one through our local hospital. The regular teacher wasn't there, so they called in the nurse who's also their lactation specialist. I kid you not, she told everyone there that breastfeeding cures cancer. That is a quote. She didn't ask for any introductions or due dates, so no one even knew we were there because we were adopting.
Fortunately she also went over a few other things we found helpful. She showed us how tiny a newborn's stomach is (so don't freak out if they only eat an ounce at a time at first) and told us how (and how often) to bathe a newborn.
And fortunately ours was free. I left there telling DH that, at least in our area, formula feeding is going to be the second hand smoke of the 21st century.
I agree you should ask for a refund if you paid for it. And that they covered little, if any, of their stated topics.
HUGS
I am sorry that the short sightedness of these presenters provided you with a poor experience into the world of baby care. I would definitely say something to the hospital or center that provided this training so that hopefully they can address this issue and spare other PAPs these feelings in the future.
I actually thought about signing up for the baby care class at our local hospital but I was afraid of this exactly. I was also nervous about others viewing us as not belonging there because I don't have a big belly and swollen ankles.
Have you talked to your agency about providing a class of some type for expecting or new parents? Our agency offers one that is aligned to more what you mentioned- bonding, basic care, setting up a support system, navigating the hospital as adoptive parents, etc.
I wish you the best!
5 Angels
When I tried to sign up it requires the name of your OB/GYN and due date. I had to call the department to figure out how to fill out the darn form. Would it be so hard to have a button for "unknown" or "adoptive parent?"
Ugh.
Your timing is impeccable. I just signed up for a class for me and DH, but I was hesitant. Now I'm thinking I will contact the folks beforehand because I do not want to sit through breastfeeding 101. So sorry you had that experience.