S/O sham mom of one

pastalady · May 2013

The previous post made me think. I feel I get judged for being a sahm of one. It makes sense to work with one. Many sham moms I know stay at home because 2 or 3 in daycare means no leftover money so why work? But with one, I could easily work.

Of course having a special needs child, even one, changes things.

Anyone else feel judged for being at home with one? I will never go back to work full time. Right now I work about 8 hours a week and it works for us! No plans on going back more after dd is in school full time. Dh is fine with it.

Chapter79 · May 2013

I'm a SAHM and my kiddo is actually in school, so talk about being judged Yes, some people have.. but not many. I don't care, though. It just doesn't bother me. My choices aren't their business, so I don't let it impact me at all.

I look at it this way- my child still has/needs sick days. She has vacations. She has summer. I'm there for all those. Field trips, special events at school, etc. It's not like I'm not doing anything.

My husband has no issues that I'm still a SAHM, none. And I have no plans of actually ever working if I don't need to.

littlelamb99 · May 2013

I am a SAHM of a preschooler and so far, it's been awesome. I do look for jobs sometimes but then I realize how important it is to stay home. There will be summer breaks, days off, etc.

MonkeySender · May 2013

No one has ever really said much to me about it. I stay home with her because I want to, and we have had to make sacrifices so that I can, but it is SO worth it to me. I really couldn't have gone back to the job I had before she was born. My hours were random and unpredictable and most days I was there well DC's close.

eddy92482 · May 2013

SAHM or Working Moms...Thats a 24/7 365 day a week job. Don't let anyone make you feel like you NEED to be working, or feel guilty for being able to SAH....I wish I could!

salt78 · May 2013

I don't SAH and have no desire to, but I would never judge someone for doing so. If it's what works best for you and your family, then I think it's great!

Fianschneid · May 2013

salt78:
I don't SAH and have no desire to, but I would never judge someone for doing so. If it's what works best for you and your family, then I think it's great!

Most of this, although now that DD is over one, I think I would love to SAH.

Do what works for you and f the judgers.

KL777 · May 2013

I was a SAHM of one for 3 years and I got judged. For some reason, just because I was a SAHM people thought I should have a house-load of kids.

Emilia0101 · May 2013

It is called stay at home mom for a reason. Not stay at home mom of multiple kids

I feel I get judged because my DD goes to preschool and I have a few hours alone during the week. Other friends are taking care of their other 1 or 2 kids during that time. It is all about choices it will always be a two way mirror looking at what someone else is doing. Right now I SAHM and I really enjoy it.

legalbeagle1 · May 2013

Ha, I work partially because I am not a good stay at home mom. No judgement here!

ferris0906 · May 2013

eddy92482:
SAHM or Working Moms...Thats a 24/7 365 day a week job. Don't let anyone make you feel like you NEED to be working, or feel guilty for being able to SAH....I wish I could!

This. Personally, I work outside the home because I think it's too hard to stay at home...I think it is waaaay more work and much harder to be a SAHM whether it's one child or more. Caring for a child 24/7 is so, so, so much harder than most people realize! I am in awe of SAHMs.

missymo · May 2013

My MIL just recently was quizzing my husband on my "plans" for the future. I take it as idle curiosity, not necessarily rudeness, but I did tell him that it's none of her business. Perhaps I will go back to work part time when my LO is in school...and perhaps not. I haven't decided.

I don't understand the problem with being a SAHM of one child. Must every person in America have a job outside the home? If my husband and I can afford it, I don't understand what would be the problem with staying home even if I had zero children.

If I had a job I loved that paid all of our bills and my husband couldn't find a job he liked, I would be perfectly fine with him not working.

People who judge others on things like this have waaaay too much time on their hands.

Smudges*Mom · May 2013

I'm sure that I'm being judged by some folks. I'm a SAHM, and my 3.5 year old is in (German) kindergarten five hours a day, five days a week. If we were back in the states, he'd be in preschool two mornings a week. But, this is how they do it here. Plus, with a deployed husband. . . Those 25 hours a week are the reason that I am sane right now. LO enjoys it, he's learning and he has friends he wouldn't otherwise have. I'll go back to work (outside of the home) when it makes sense for our family.

Now pardon me as I need to go get ready for a few hours of shopping. Hey, don't judge, I'm shopping for something cute to wear when DH comes home!

jehprb · May 2013

I'm a SAHM to a 1st grader so I'm sure people judge me but they can go right ahead so long as they don't bother me with it, lol. The next logical step in life for me was to volunteer at school so I've had a regular set schedule of that since Kindergarten started. He may not always "need" me as much and surely the older grades don't need room moms as much as these little guys do so I'm not sure what will happen then but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. I was a sah wife and a sah girlfriend before that so whatever I do next may not necessarily be a job and that's no one's business but mine and my husband's :-)

chardonnay24 · May 2013

I don't feel judged at all, although I might as he gets older. Most of my SAHM friends have one (a toddler) and a couple are either newly pregnant or just had a baby. I may feel judged when he gets older, but I don't know how long I plan on SAH. I do work PT during the tax season and want to continue that for the time being, so I'm technically not a FT SAHM.

MomToNeeners · May 2013

To be able to give a child the gift of having their parent there...screw what people think. I would think they're jealous because you're doing what's best for your child and really able to do what's best for her.

I'm a mean person...but I'm a nurse, so I am jealous..I would love to be with my daughter 24/7, but it's not possible.

Never feel bad about an awesome choice you made as a parent.

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