LGBT Parenting

TTC and need a laugh?

Here's my attempt at lightening a very long & stressful process!

They say it takes a village to raise a child. In the LGBT world, it also takes a village to conceive a child!


On the first day of conception,

my true love sent to me:

A paper that requires notary.


On the second day of conception,

my true love sent to me:

2 registered nurses

and a paper that requires notary.


On the third day of conception, 

my true love sent to me:

3 phlebotomists

2 registered nurses

and a paper that requires notary.


On the fourth day of conception, 

my true love sent to me:

4 consulting doctors

3 phlebotomists

2 registered nurses

and a paper that requires notary.


On the fifth day of conception, 

my true love sent to me:

5 golden vials (sperm, of course)

4 consulting doctors

3 phlebotomists

2 registered nurses

and a paper that requires notary.


On the sixth day of conception, 

my true love sent to me:

60 minutes with a therapist 

5 golden vials (sperm, of course)

4 consulting doctors

3 phlebotomists

2 registered nurses

and a paper that requires notary.


On the seventh day of conception, 

my true love sent to me:

7 months to track temperature

60 minutes with a therapist

5 golden vials (sperm, of course)

4 consulting doctors

3 phlebotomists

2 registered nurses

and a paper that requires notary.


On the eighth day of conception, 

my true love sent to me:

8 signatures

7 months to track temperature

60 minutes with a therapist

5 golden vials (sperm, of course)

4 consulting doctors

3 phlebotomists

2 registered nurses

and a paper that requires notary.


On the ninth day of conception, 

my true love sent to me:

9 predictor kits

8 signatures

7 months to track temperature

60 minutes with a therapist

5 golden vials (sperm, of course)

4 consulting doctors

3 phlebotomists

2 registered nurses

and a paper that requires notary.


On the tenth day of conception, 

my true love sent to me:

10 minutes in stirrups

9 predictor kits

8 signatures

7 months to track temperature

60 minutes with a therapist

5 golden vials (sperm, of course)

4 consulting doctors

3 phlebotomists

2 registered nurses

and a paper that requires notary.


On the eleventh day of conception, 

my true love sent to me:

11 hundred dollars

10 minutes in stirrups

9 predictor kits

8 signatures

7 months to track temperature

60 minutes with a therapist

5 golden vials (sperm, of course)

4 consulting doctors

3 phlebotomists

2 registered nurses

and a paper that requires notary.


On the twelfth day of conception, 

my true love sent to me:

12 pounds of weight loss

11 hundred dollars

10 minutes in stirrups

9 predictor kits

8 signatures

7 months to track temperature

60 minutes with a therapist

5 golden vials (sperm, of course)

4 consulting doctors

3 phlebotomists

2 registered nurses

and a paper that requires notary.

 

Re: TTC and need a laugh?

  • Ha! this did make me laugh... Did you write this? Very clever!

    You really got me at "11 hundred dollars" - that's just one IUI, thank you very much...

     Though you lost me at the end when you said "12 pounds of weight loss" - for me it was weighted GAINED during TTC with drugs, hormones, stress, and fatigue...

     Thanks for the laugh!

    M&K met 8/2002 married 6/2012
    TTC with RE since March 2012
    3 missed O's, 6 IUIs = 1 BFP then 8 w M/C, 5 BFNs
    (2 unmedicated IUIs, 2 clomid IUI, 2 femara IUI)
    Shared maternity/partner IVF, transfer #1 BFP!
    EDD 11/28/13
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  • Yes, I wrote it. Writing therapy... it started out angry and ended being silly! 

    I've lost 12 pounds in the last 4 months because I wanted to be healthier in preparation for pregnancy. However, this 2ww (first IUI) has been a weight gainer! I'm right there with you. Maybe I'll change that line before I post it on my blog (thanks for the edit!).

      

  • Love it!  Thanks for sharing!! 
  • This is hilarious and I agree with MK, it was gaine for me too.
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