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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
Help- Sleep Deprived and Clueless
Hi,
So my 1 year old daughter is totally not on a sleeping schedule. She takes two naps during the day while my parents are watching her, but she will not fall asleep at night until anytime between 11:00pm-12:30am. I have finally had a breakdown because I cannot deal with only 4 1/2 hours of sleep anymore before I have to get up for work.
Does anyone have suggestions for me on what time she should be going to sleep and how to get her to sleep in her crib without screaming like someone is killing her? It is hard to let her cry because people live above us. We do have a routine, between 5-5:30 she has dinner, 7:30pm is usually a bath and then 8:00pm is a bottle (which I always hope is her last, but it doesnt work out like that). Ideally, I would like her to fall asleep after that 8:00pm bottle. She does sleep in our bed because it is easier for me not to have to go back and forth all night, but of course I would like her to sleep in her crib.
Help! Thanks!
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Re: Help- Sleep Deprived and Clueless
A couple of questions. 1) when is her last nap with your parents? and how long is it? My parents watch DD too and I know if they don't get her down for that nap by 3-3:30 she will be up later in the evening sometimes 10-11pm.
2) Is she more energized after the bath? I know a bath to some babies makes them relaxed, but it is the exact opposite for DD. A bath is super stimulating for her and she is so awake, excited ready to go afterward. I try to bath her immediately after dinner.
3) When you give that last bottle is it in a dark room that is either quiet, or has white noise like a fan running? This helps DD wind down and relax a lot.
DD (11months) eats dinner at 5:30 also, and we start to wind down/bedtime routine around 8pm. We do diaper change, PJ's, books, Goodnights to Nana, Papa & Daddy and then we go upstairs. I put her in her sleep sack, start a white noise machine and nurse her. She used to fall asleep and I would place her in her crib, but more and more she is still awake when I lay her down. Most of the time she is quiet and just rolls around gets comfy and falls asleep, sometimes she wimpers/fusses, and sometimes she crys for a few minutes then settles down. The majority of the time she is asleep by 9.
Very rarely she will keep screaming for over 10minutes. Then I send DH in and he will rock her to sleep. I never go back in because I don't want her to think she can nurse again and that is what she will want from me, also we never bring her into our bed (although I know that works for some people) She has always slept separate from us. First a rock and play, then a pack n play (both in our room) and then we moved her to a crib in her own room when she was 8-9months.
Good luck. No matter how you try and tackle these issues and try and acheive your goals of an ealier bedtime and having her in her own crib....be consistent. The consistency is what is going to make it a routine and habit that she will learn.
Sleep training aside...
I started my 11 month old horrible sleeper in swim lessons and the first night she slept 13 hours waking once, but I'll take it. After the second class she slept 10.5 hours straight. I am forever grateful to the pool. I would suggest you try it.
Form a routine and stick to it. Be consistent with bedtime and all wakings. You could try sleeping in her room for a few nights to ease the crib transition, but don't do it for more than 3 or you risk forming a new (undesirable) habit.
Crying should not be a problem for neighbors if it is early in the night. I decided to do CIO at bedtime only, because I was worried that if DD cried in the night, she would wake her brother. Fortunately (miraculously?) a night or two of crying at bedtime nearly eliminated night wakings. She wakes once for a bottle, I feed her and put her back in the crib. She is usually back asleep within a few minutes and sleeps until morning. It is amazingly wonderful, and two weeks ago I would not have thought it was possible.
PPs have given good advice. The only thing I have to add is to consider having a more definite routine immediately preceding her bedtime, rather than spread out. My son's bedtime routine starts about 20-30 minutes before he gets put down in his crib. He gets a diaper change and pjs, walks over with his papa to get two or three books, and then sits in the same chair every night to read those books. Then he comes to me on the couch, nurses, says goodnight to papa, and I take him into his dark room and rock and sing him a song or two. Then it's crib time with his binky and his stuffed monkey.
We can vary the routine now--if my DH isn't home I read the stories, and even my parents can put him to bed without the nursing part. But when we first started training him the routine was the EXACT same thing every night (we even always read the same book last), so it was easier for him to pick up on what was going on.
I will also say that we had to stop cosleeping in order to teach him to sleep. He associated the bed with our company and would not sleep unless I was there. I know other people make it work, but we couldn't. Maybe because we really wanted him in the crib so I would try to put him there but relent and take him into bed with us just so I could get rest, and so he KNEW he could get me to do that. He was pretty mad when he realized that wasn't going to happen anymore, but now he loves his crib--it is his place and he knows it means sleeping.
Yeah I have to parrot PP's here. Consistency is key, whether or not you do some kind of sleep training, you need to be super consistent in your routine. Bedtime routines get your LO in the mode of thinking that it is time to relax, settle down, etc. DD is only 9 months, and we have a solid routine. We did a bit of sleep training, too, though, and that was a big deal for us.
If you do decide to do sleep training, please read up on whatever method you decide to use.
Great advice from everyone here. Follow what has been said and you will have a sleeper in no time.
It will be hard. You have to be consistent no matter what, and it will happen.
It's up to us to guide them.