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Sunday924
member
I would give anything to go off on BM!!
Sunday924
member
And I think I might just do it.
BM, her new baby, and her H decided to up and move four hours away earlier this year. They left behind the H's 2 kids, SS, and SS's little sister. BM doesn't know when she will see SS next. SS saw BM once in 2013 right before she moved for one night. She called him in February and they talked. She called March 14th but SS didn't want to talk so it went to VM and she did not leave one. The next time she called was about a week ago. SS didn't want to talk so I txt her. She asked if everything was ok and I said yeah I'm sure he is just hurt by you. She said she would keep in touch. She has been texting me every 2-3 days now asking if he wants to talk and telling him she loves him. WTF??? She went 2 months without speaking to him and now that she knows he doesn't want to talk to her she try's to contact him all the time?!
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Re: I would give anything to go off on BM!!
I have showed him every txt she has sent since last week. He doesn't want to talk to her.
ETA: I can say with 100% confidance BM would never file anything or take DH to court.
Great advice! Maybe it would be best if your H had a conversation with his son to see what he is feeling and if he would like to talk to him bm. A very crappy situation, I imagine your SS is pretty confused and hurt.
To the bold - Meh. Maybe. SS IS confused & hurt, but that is BM's fault. I think it would be good for DH to have a convo w/ SS telling him how loved he is by him, & for OP to probably have one as well. DH's should see if there's anything SS wants BM to do, & either encourage SS to ask BM for those things or have DH pass those things on to BM. BM is giving a half a$$ effort, & SS likely sees it. It's not OP's DH's responsibility to force a relationship with SS & BM. OP is doing her part by showing the texts. OP can't force SS to feel or react a certain way.
I think you've gotten good advice for how to handle everything with your SS.
But I wanted to add that I think sometimes people need to be gone off on. You can confront someone without being nasty/immature/inappropriate. It probably won't change their behavior, but you never know.
I am the least confrontational person on the planet, and I can take a lot of BS before I call somebody on it. But when a kid is being hurt, I think it's time for a wake up call.