Parenting after a Loss

A late, early intro

Hi all,

I've been meaning to intro over here for about the last 3 weeks but one thing or another always got in the way.  

I'm Kim, a heretofore regular PgAL poster.  After dealing with IF due to hypothyroid, I found out about my first pregnancy almost exactly one year ago and miscarried on Mother's Day.  I was scared and thrilled to find out I was pregnant again in early September and found PgAL to be an absolute sanity-saver all throughout my pregnancy.  This pregnancy ended much earlier than expected when I delivered my son Malcolm prematurely on April 8 at 34 weeks, 4 days.  We spent 9 days in the NICU (I was incredibly lucky to be able to stay with him) and have now been home for 2 weeks.  We've been dealing with some fairly typical preemie challenges.  What's surprised me is the force of emotions I've experienced.  So much of my emotional reality in dealing with a cut-short pregnancy and his preemie status has reminded me of dealing with IF and loss.  I've wondered if there are any other PAL moms of preemies who can relate.

I've been loving having him at home but we're under quarantine and house arrest per his pediatrician and I can't wait to get outside again.

I'm looking forward to continuing with some of the amazing relationships I started on PgAL and in meeting the rest of you.

Oh, and what would a proper intro be without pics?

Here are two of my favorite pictures of my little guy: 

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Kim 

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Re: A late, early intro

  • ct103ct103 member
    Hello and welcome! Your son was born the day before my daughter! He is adorable, and those are some fantastic pictures.

    I'm really sorry about the preemie challenges and fears you have faced. I can't even imagine. I'm sure there are women on this board who can relate to you.
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  • Hi!
    First, your LO is adorable! Congrats!
    My twins were born at 34.4 also, and I completely get where you are coming from. We did 13 and 15 days in the NICU, and the emotions surrounding the girls premature arrival, and the uncertainty surrounding their stay were a LOT to handle. Your emotions will run the gamut. One day I was elated with their arrival, and then furious and ashamed of my "faulty" uterus. Then I would weep with regret that I would never get those first moments back. After 5 months, I am starting to find a better place, and it IS getting easier.
    Be gentle with yourself Momma, and take the time that you need to heal!
     
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  • morkmork member
    Congrats on your funny little dude! Welcome to PAL!
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  • Glad to see you! Your little guy is very cute!

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  • What a handsome fella!! Welcome and congrats!
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  • Congrats and welcome! He is adorable.
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  • Oh my goodness what a cutie!  Congratulations and I hope you get to get out in the world soon!
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  • Welcome and congrats!

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  • Congrats & Welcome!! He is so cute. :)
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  • krwactkrwact member

    Thanks for the warm welcome everyone!

    SoulChicken, I'm sorry to hear that you can relate but I'm grateful that you shared your experience. I had so much guilt over his premature birth (even though my head knows I didn't cause it) and it was a surprise to me to read how common that is. 

    Dilngr, I've been thinking about you too.  I have been doing better overall but still have those moments of regret/jealousy, especially on our BMB and IRL when I go to the LC and see all these full term mommas and babies. I think it'll be very healing once we're allowed to participate in the outside world again. Even with cable and the internet, it's so isolating to be stuck inside, just the two of us, for the vast majority of the day. 

     Thanks again all. I know I'm gonna like it here!  :-)

    Kim 

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  • MJM3108MJM3108 member
    Congrats on your handsome little dude! Malcom is just too adorable! I hope your quarantine time is up soon and you and Malcom can go explore the outside world together. Happy to have you over here!
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