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Baby Showers
CJ086
member
Shower date changed...frustrated
CJ086
member
in Baby Showers
So I get a message from my hostess this morning simply saying "be prepared, we changed the date of the shower" ok that's good hopefully they have picked something sooner than 36 wks like the original one, but whatever a gift is a gift and I am thankful either way. Here's the problem though, I ask when the shower is now...and I am told "don't worry about it" okay...not worried just need to know when to show up, I know where. A time would be nice but trying not to be too picky here, she then proceeds to tell me that I need to just leave something a surprise. Um all I have done is give guest list, dates I will be definitely out of town, and that's about it. I mean they asked for the nursery theme but many people have and if we had a registry. I have no clue how many will be invited, I know the location because that in itself is a gift from a friend. How is it even remotely ok to not let the MTB know when the shower is? What are they going to do just show up at some point and say hey let's go to your shower?!
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Re: Shower date changed...frustrated
you KNOW you're getting a shower. What the heck is the surprise??
I'd just tell her that your weekends are starting to book up and you need to make sure you don't double book. I think that's more than reasonable. She has your original list of conflicts. That could change!
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I agree with this. Tell her that you have a few things coming up and need to at least know what day it is so as not to over-book, then you'll at least know you need to look picture-ready that day.
Eeeee, I hate surprise showers. My cousin had one thrown for her and she wasn't wearing any make up, was in overalls hair up in a ponytail. As you can imagine she felt a little out of place when all the other guests were dressed nice.
I would do as ECB suggested and say that your calendar is filling up quickly and need to know when the shower is. I would also talk to your husband and let him know that if he gets any word on when the shower is, he must tell you because it is important to you to look nice for your pictures.
yes NH but I didn't realize this was a regional thing, glad there's only going to be one for me to deal with LOL
Just tell her that your spring/summer schedule is getting full and you don't want to make plans on the same date she has for the shower.
Now if she does just show up and say "Let's go." Tell her that you have to shower, dress ( have a clean outfit already picked out ) and put on make up first. Don't get in the car until you feel comfortable.
Also talk to your husband and let him know that if he gets wind of when the shower actually is, you would appreciate it if he told you so that you can look presentable for pictures.
I agree with this. What's the surprise. It is not a surprise shower since you know you are getting one. Let her know that you need to know the date since you've got things to schedule and you want to make sure you keep the day free. Also, you can let her know that the decorations will be a surprise as will the gifts.
I HATE surprise showers OR parties of any kind if they are for ME. HA!
BTW...can you contact one of the guests you know is invited and who is not good at keeping secrets and ask for the date?ETA: I really don't get what the surprise is if you already know about the shower. People are funny.
BFP #1 09/02/11 M/C 09/12/11 8w6days
BFP #2 07/18/12 Baby S born on his EDD 03/23/13
SS - age 12...SD - age 8...DS - 13 mos.
This. While I agree anyone should be thankful to receive a baby shower, and be appreciative of the people throwing said shower, I also think it's rude to not inform the MTB of when the shower is going to occur. It's especially ridiculous because you already know you're having a shower- so what could possibly be a surprise that they have to keep the shower date/time from you? I'd do as PP mentioned and let them know you have friends/co-workers, etc inquiring about hanging out or celebrating with you on certain weekends so you need to know which day you need to have blocked off. Plain and simple.
Ugh...the only situation in which I see a "surprise shower" as a good idea is if the whole thing (meaning, its entire existence) is a surprise. For her to tell you she's planning one, get a guest list and dates from you, and then goes on to say that the actual day will be a surprise is kind of douchey in my opinion. This is also begging for disaster as the date draws nearer. Assuming you're not a complete hermit (which we know you're not since you, you know, have friends wanting to throw you a shower), the chances of you making plans for the weekend of the shower aren't exactly slim. What happens when it's time for them to fetch you to bring you over and you're not home or able to be reached because you've made other plans? Do they expect you to drop what you're doing to attend their shower? Are they willing to reschedule or cancel if it turns out you can't make it? The reasoning that you should just not make any plans from now until when you give birth makes no sense to me.
Reading this I was like ahhhh this sounds like my poor SIL! I was just told by her sister that her shower will be a suprise and I am annoyed/terrified for her. She is also in NH, but due 7-3.
Reading all of this I want to let it slip to her what the date will be.
All your fears about dates/times and being busy/unpresentable would be your hostess's fears too. You know she wouldn't want to have a group of people waiting for you and have to tell them you can't come.
So, there will obviously be some decoy plan that you'll schedule and think you're going to and then Surprise! It's really your shower!
So, just let your hostess have her fun. Can't think of what it would be, but maybe she has a good reason for keeping it a surprise. Just hope it's worth it.