Feeling Scared and Sad And Feeling Guilty About It :/

EIK2013 · May 2013

Hey Ladies,

Im just having a rough day...I'm in the 2WW and I feel like I'm getting AF cramps and have a feeling this cycle was a bust.....on top of that, my SIL got induced today and we will be heading down to see her and the baby on Thursday night...I just don't know how I'm going to handle this weekend....a part of me so badly doesn't want to go so I can avoid all the new baby happiness and putting on a pretend smile. But god that just sounds awful!!!!! Of course I'm SO happy for my SIL and a part of me cannot wait to hold that little pumpkin, but at the same time it is SO painful.... Holy roller coaster of emotions. I'm just scared about how I will handle it all and I can't explain this to my DH bc he always takes it as I'm angry that they are having a baby or I'm not happy for them when that is not the case at all. There really is no point to the post, but just needed to vent and I know you ladies can understand these different emotions I'm feeling. I could use some T&Ps to give me strength for this weekend. Thanks for listening ladies.

RunCC37 · May 2013

I'm thinking of you, sending you strength and hugs, and hoping AF is NOT on her way. I totally empathize with your mixed emotions... It's hard for me not to feel guilty for my emotions too. But don't beat yourself up about it. It's natural, and what you're going through is hard and plain out sucks. Hugs!!

Cara1024 · May 2013

Thinking of you this weekend. You certainly don't have to explain yourself to us. We've been there to and know what this type of thing is like. Just do your best to get through it, and try to enjoy the parts that you can. Find the positive and try to hold on to that. You are now an aunt! (or an aunt again maybe) That is a wonderful role so enjoy it as much as you can, because you don't want to miss out on the good things in your life all due to IF. Its not easy though. Good luck this weekend!

ammro · May 2013

I know how you feel! My sister is pregnant due in June. I have been Ttc for almost a year. And it is proving to be very difficult! It's hard to keep a smile on your face while hurting inside. It will work out for you! I guess like I'm tellin myself, we gotta enjoy being aunts. Good luck! Stay strong!

scbedi · May 2013

I hope AF doesn't show!!!!! I can totally empathize with you though. I visited my BFF after she had a baby in March. I was worried about how it would be for me, but like pp have mentioned it was a reminder of what I am going through hell to get! I, too, cried when I got home but I had a re-energized feeling of "ok, I can do this!!". T&P DEFINITELY going your way!!!!

Akiesha · May 2013

Huge hugs and T & P's coming your way.

KTdid81 · May 2013

I am really sorry. Don't feel bad about feeling that way. We all have. My SIL and my little sister are both expecting. It is hard to deal with and will be harder if we aren't expecting by the time they deliver.

It is different for husbands. They struggle with the IF too, but they don't have all of the added hormones & emotions that we have flying around.

katib77 · May 2013

I'm sorry! If I were you I'd try to calmly explain to your husband before you even leave how happy you are about the new baby to the family - but with hormones and IF, you might be emotional...but not out of anger, but out of sadness that you have not been able to hold your own child.

Sometimes men need it spelled out clear as day. And sometimes when we're emotional, it's hard to put something into simple words. So if you prepare him ahead of time and explain your fear, it will keep any confusion at bay. And ask for his support and reassurance that while it may not have worked for you YET that someday it will be your turn. It always helps me when my husband tells me that, even if I'm the one that told him just days ago to say it to me.

luciddreamer106 · May 2013

I'm sorry you're having a tough time, it's ok to feel that way. It's so hard when you're happy for someone else, while also feeling sad about your own situation.

ttuprincess · May 2013

Sorry you are having a rough day. I can definitely relate to the roller coaster of emotions. I don't have any words of wisdom but just wanted to say that I am sending positive thoughts your way. big ((HUGS))

ena724 · May 2013

T&Ps coming your way. FX AF is not on her way.

babydreams13 · May 2013

Hang in there. We all have rough times. This past weekend (right after my Neg Beta) I had a baby shower and also a party where my friend was there and is preg with #4. I'm also happy for people but sad for myself and wonder how this whole thing can be so unfair. I just try to tell myself it will happen for us one day.

EIK2013 · May 2013

You ladies are the best....you all understand and know exactly the right things to say in these tough situations. Thank you for all the kind words. My SIL did give birth last night and the labor went smoothly and he looks precious

We are heading down to St. Louis this evening and I feel refreshed to start a new day....on the positive side, AF has not started yet...soooo I continue the 2WW. Thanks again for the sweet words ladies.

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