October 2013 Moms

does this "irritate" anyone else?

I don't quite think irritate is the right word, but does it make anyone else laugh/be concerned/confused when you see people announce on fb before their pee stick is dry? We just announce ours and we are due the end of October (and I felt like I still announced early) and not even 2 seconds later a girl announces she is due early January. SO FAST TO ANNOUNCE!

Re: does this "irritate" anyone else?

  • I'm not really irritated. More like jealous. I don't think I will ever be able to be so carefree about pregnancy. I had to go through a loss publicly and I refuse to do that again. 

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  • kdjuddkdjudd member
    It doesn't really bother me. It is their decision to announce it and I'm sure they are aware of the risks and possibilities of problems. I bet they are just super excited. :)
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  • i guess that's what i'm trying to say...i worried/still worry daily and just can't imagine having to retract.
  • I side-eye them a little.  Announcing before the pee is dry is too early.  If something happens they will have to put that out on FB too. Some people are good with that, others are not.

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  • imageyesthisiskim0401:
    I'm not really irritated. More like jealous. I don't think I will ever be able to be so carefree about pregnancy. I had to go through a loss publicly and I refuse to do that again. 

    Yep, this, except for us it was with IF. I haven't been carefree about this pregnancy really until the last week so we waited a WHILE before we announced publicly.  

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  • imageT3hKay:

    imageyesthisiskim0401:
    I'm not really irritated. More like jealous. I don't think I will ever be able to be so carefree about pregnancy. I had to go through a loss publicly and I refuse to do that again. 

    I had announced at like 6 weeks...and then Just posted here and there about having wine or eggnog and soco....On New years I was able to talk about it and reveal we lost the baby....Its very hard to un-tell....and I felt like an idiot.

    I did, too. Which was so weird to experience.

    I also had insensitive idiot friends ask me questions. 


  • We announced to everyone within days of knowing.. I was 8 weeks when we found out. I was too excited to keep it to myself.
    We have gone through a loss before and are well aware of risks.
    I feel like at anytime during pregnancy and birth there can be complications or loss, even though the risk is usually lower later on in pregnancy. So I personally felt there was no reason to keep it to myself, when I wanted to share.
  • imageyesthisiskim0401:
    I'm not really irritated. More like jealous. I don't think I will ever be able to be so carefree about pregnancy. I had to go through a loss publicly and I refuse to do that again. 

    Same here



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  • YES! In fact it really ticks me off.  We just announced yesterday at 16+ weeks.  I had a colleague who posted the day his wife got a BFP (meanwhile i was 8 weeks and we still hadn't told anyone).  Unfortunately they lost the baby at 6 weeks and never posted (maybe rightfully so) to let people know.  I just feel like it set them up for lots of awkward "when's the baby due" conversations.

    Another colleague also commented how he didn't understand why people make such a big deal out of "trying" because his wife got pregnant with their daughter the first month.  I wanted to absolutely strangle him.

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  • Amjoy25Amjoy25 member

    imageshelley1002:
    I side-eye them a little.  Announcing before the pee is dry is too early.  If something happens they will have to put that out on FB too. Some people are good with that, others are not.

    Agreed. I, personally, would not want to retract anything so publicly when anything can happen in the first few weeks.

    My SIL had to retract just from family members and that was painful enough. I just announced today on FB, but have been taking flack from my in-laws for a few weeks; you think they would have learned a valuable lesson.

    I also think people just do not realize how tentative the first few weeks are...hopefully, she will be ok and will have that baby in January!


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  • imagekdjudd:
    It doesn't really bother me. It is their decision to announce it and I'm sure they are aware of the risks and possibilities of problems. I bet they are just super excited. :

    I announced with DS 3 days after BFP. I didn't know the risks. I was naive and carefree and never thought twice about it. Then I joined the bump and realized how common MC really is and last summer told DH I wanted to wait to tell people. I'm glad I waited because we did lose that baby.

    So they may be posting out if ignorant bliss
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  • Not at all. I announced right away with DD1 because I was naive, it was my first pregnancy and I had no experiences with any sort of loss, even with people close to me. With DD2 and this one I waited until we saw and heard the heartbeat at 8 weeks because I learned about very early losses from TB but have not experienced ir personally still. I know things can go wrong after seeing and hearing the HB but this is my personal comfort level. I don't see why this would irritate someone.
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  • I think it's weird people get upset over this. It has absolutely nothing to do with you, and yet you think it should be done the way you think it should be done. That's weird.

  • I side eye like pp said... I think its a bit much to announce so soon... Also "bump/ bloat" pics at 5,7, and 9 weeks on fb... This one girl on my fb did this and was like I am so big already (um your baby is the size of a pea)! and continuously posted pictures in her bra and panties until she was 40 weeks... uhhhh no one needs to see that. Its fine if its private but I dont think its appropriate when your not pg... so save it for your person album.
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  • imagelbethke99:

    imageyesthisiskim0401:
    I'm not really irritated. More like jealous. I don't think I will ever be able to be so carefree about pregnancy. I had to go through a loss publicly and I refuse to do that again. 

    Same here



    Me too! I didn't do a specific fb announcement, but told parents nd siblings at seven weeks after first u/s, but had to untell when we lost a twin. Extended family was told after our ten week appt and friends were told after nt scan. A coworker of mine claims "infertility" but only had to clean up some endometriosis and then got pregnant naturally the next month. She made a big fb announcement after her first u/s and I couldn't help but feel jealous. I'm 16.5 weeks now and still anxious that something bad will be found at our next appt. I feel very envious that people are so confident about it and take that for granted.
  • We had a work acquaintance of DH's post a picture of all 3 of her seemingly still wet positive pregnancy tests- I was 6 weeks at the time and she was due a couple weeks after me.  She posted on her wall the day before we were going to announce that they had lost the baby.  I was so incredibly sad for her.  We ended up waiting a week longer than we were going to to announce ours because of it- we didn't want to be insensitive more than anything.  We announced at 14w. 
  • Still haven't announced and just started telling local friends because I'm starting to show.  My very best friends and my dad know.  My mom and sister do not but we are not close at all and both struggle with mental health issues and will make this all about them.  It makes me sad, but I'm just not ready to deal with them.  We did take some SERIOUSLY CUTE pics of the kids holding big brother/sister chalkboards and after my next appointment I think I'll put it on FB.  

    I started bleeding with my son at 18 weeks and was on bed rest until 26 so I'm just not feeling confident until I get to 24.  Shoot, I just may wait until then to announce.   

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  • imagejarebearsmom:
    imagekdjudd:
    It doesn't really bother me. It is their decision to announce it and I'm sure they are aware of the risks and possibilities of problems. I bet they are just super excited. :
    I announced with DS 3 days after BFP. I didn't know the risks. I was naive and carefree and never thought twice about it. Then I joined the bump and realized how common MC really is and last summer told DH I wanted to wait to tell people. I'm glad I waited because we did lose that baby. So they may be posting out if ignorant bliss

    This is me too. With DS we announced to family and friends with in days of my BFP. Thankfully last fall we hadn't told so we didn't have to untell. We told family about this one at 10 weeks, after 3 u/s and are just starting to tell friends. I still haven't said anything on FB.

    I'm not 'irritated' I just worry for them when the announce that early.

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  • It doesn't "irritate" me but I do send up a little prayer that it all goes well. So painful to read when others have to "un-tell" over Facebook.

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  • AjoydAjoyd member
    I definitely think it is a little naive to announce that early, but like PPs have said I feel a bit envious of that kind of worry-free attitude. I have never experienced a loss but I was still scared sh*tless until after my NT scan. I still haven't posted on FB but not so much because I'm still worried, more because there are still people who should be told more personally than that.


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  • Every person should be able to make that decision for themselves without someone else being critical of it.  We announced after we'd been to the doctor the first time, had the u/s and confirmed the pregnancy.  I was around 8 weeks.  I was so happy and so was DH, so there was no keeping it from our families who we knew would be sending us all their prayers and well wishes.  I know miscarriage is so common, but its not something we have to go through alone. Just my thoughts.

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  • It's annoying to me, but I believe those people post out of naiveness.  What is even more annoying is it's usually those people who are so excited and post a BFP right away are the ones that are constantly complaining throughout their entire pregnancy on FB.  A girl I know posted right when she found out and she has done nothing but complain.  Complain about MS, tiredness, etc.  She even complained the other day at 24wks that she is done and ready for the baby to come.  So annoying.
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  • imagebeccabrad:
    It's annoying to me, but I believe those people post out of naiveness.  What is even more annoying is it's usually those people who are so excited and post a BFP right away are the ones that are constantly complaining throughout their entire pregnancy on FB.  A girl I know posted right when she found out and she has done nothing but complain.  Complain about MS, tiredness, etc.  She even complained the other day at 24wks that she is done and ready for the baby to come.  So annoying.

    Now THIS irritates me. We all knew what we were signing up for. STFU. 


  • imageyesthisiskim0401:
    I'm not really irritated. More like jealous. I don't think I will ever be able to be so carefree about pregnancy. I had to go through a loss publicly and I refuse to do that again. 

    That was one of my biggest fears. I am so sorry for your loss.

    I even hesitated to tell my mom and sisters until we were further along. At 6 weeks, only 2 weeks after the positive pee test and MD confirmation, I had horrible cramping and spotting. I hadn't told anyone yet and felt so alone. I ended up blurting it out to the secretary at work because I needed someone else to know! Thank God and praises be that everything is ok and baby just wanted me to get an early U/S and sonogram to show off. At that moment, I knew that I wanted my mom and sisters to be there no matter what. I would need them if I had another scare, or worse. However, I didn't post on FB until we reached the 13 week mark...and even then I was super nervous, like we were tempting fate. Also, my husband is very old school Italian and his family won't really talk about the baby or buy anything etc until the baby is born.


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  • MrsJYMrsJY member

    imageyesthisiskim0401:
    I'm not really irritated. More like jealous. I don't think I will ever be able to be so carefree about pregnancy. I had to go through a loss publicly and I refuse to do that again. 

    We still haven't "announced" it (close friends and family do know). I had a miscarriage at 11 weeks after DS, so we're in no rush to tell people this time. I'm waiting until we know if it's a girl or a boy. 

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  • AjoydAjoyd member
    imageyesthisiskim0401:

    imagebeccabrad:
    It's annoying to me, but I believe those people post out of naiveness.  What is even more annoying is it's usually those people who are so excited and post a BFP right away are the ones that are constantly complaining throughout their entire pregnancy on FB.  A girl I know posted right when she found out and she has done nothing but complain.  Complain about MS, tiredness, etc.  She even complained the other day at 24wks that she is done and ready for the baby to come.  So annoying.

    Now THIS irritates me. We all knew what we were signing up for. STFU. 

    Me too. I get that the day to day of pregnancy is not always glamorous, but the end goal makes it all worthwhile.



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  • When I announced on Facebook, I had a friend, who I knew was pregnant, announce on the same day within like 1 hour of when I posted.  I know I probably shouldn't care but I was really annoyed by it.  She could have easily waited until the next day.  I felt like she did it on purpose.
  • imageAjoyd:
    imageyesthisiskim0401:

    imagebeccabrad:
    It's annoying to me, but I believe those people post out of naiveness.  What is even more annoying is it's usually those people who are so excited and post a BFP right away are the ones that are constantly complaining throughout their entire pregnancy on FB.  A girl I know posted right when she found out and she has done nothing but complain.  Complain about MS, tiredness, etc.  She even complained the other day at 24wks that she is done and ready for the baby to come.  So annoying.

    Now THIS irritates me. We all knew what we were signing up for. STFU. 

    Me too. I get that the day to day of pregnancy is not always glamorous, but the end goal makes it all worthwhile.

    I feel bad because I actually hid posts from one of my friends because it just made me so depressed. She was constantly posting about how horrible she felt and all these issues with her pregnancy. Granted, she did have a rough pregnancy and I would talk with her about it and listen with a sympathetic ear...but to be honest, I go to FB for silly shared videos and updates on my cousin who lives cross-country. I am more than happy to be a shoulder to cry on, but need to portion it out for my own sanity. (Since people seem to be on fire today, I fully expect to be ripped a new one for this honest post...I do need to get a thicker skin I guess in order to be here)


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  • I think it's a personal decision. Although it's nms, I have to admit I kind of admire the optimism of people who announce that early. Most likely it's people that have not dealt with loss in the past nor known many who have. So even though I wouldn't do it, who am I to judge them. I can only hope that they don't come to regret it.
  • I'm pretty "care free" about my pregnancy (I told both our parents at 4 weeks right after my blood test and never tried to hide it from anyone) but there is something about announcing on Facebook as soon as you see the positive test that freaks me out. I feel like it is too intimate at that point. If it was up to me I would have never said anything on facebook but DH was dying to post the first ultrasound picture so I let him.
    I also don't like people doing weekly facebook belly pictures. Especially when they start them at 5 weeks haha. It drives me crazy.
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  • imageyesthisiskim0401:

    imagebeccabrad:
    It's annoying to me, but I believe those people post out of naiveness.  What is even more annoying is it's usually those people who are so excited and post a BFP right away are the ones that are constantly complaining throughout their entire pregnancy on FB.  A girl I know posted right when she found out and she has done nothing but complain.  Complain about MS, tiredness, etc.  She even complained the other day at 24wks that she is done and ready for the baby to come.  So annoying.

    Now THIS irritates me. We all knew what we were signing up for. STFU. 

    Yea I can't stand that. On facebook, I post when we find out news about the baby, and that's about it. It's so sad when people complain that much, because you never know who on your facebook is going through infertility or losses...shiz, if I say I'm tired at work I get "Well, try to enjoy your pregnancy, some of us weren't able to experience that." *facepalm* 

     
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  • I had a friend show us the sticks as they got darker. No she was not "trying", dealing with IF or anything else I think would warrant that type of behavior. She was out on FB at 6w when they confirmed that there was a lo in there, but I'm not even sure if she heard the hb yet.

    I don't think it irritates me, but I do get jealous.  I wish I could be so carefree from the get go, and not be so worried.  Pregnancy is supposed to be a joyous, beautiful time, but for so many of us, it is a time filled with trepidation.  And I think that it is SO unfair!

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  • Yes it would annoy me. Is she typically a crazy poster person who must post everything that happens? If so, then don't be surprised. But don't get caught up comparing yourself with other pregnant women... It will set u up for more irritation in the future
  • Not really. That being said..

    With my first PG, I announced to a few immediate family members.. balloons and all... then had a chemical pregnancy at less than 6 weeks.  Luckily it was really only my parents and siblings I had to un-tell, so they were very supportive.

    With my second PG (my DD) I announced to the world by 7 weeks, after we saw baby and the heartbeat.  Still early now that I look back on it, but I guess I was comfortable seeing the HB.

    With this one, we announced to the world I think right after 12 weeks. I think I have seen enough people have losses, and of course my own, that I have become a little more cautious. Also, just didn't want the attention so early this time.  It was nice to keep it to ourselves a bit longer.

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  • I did have a coworker come tell all of us she was 4w RIGHT after she found out! She hadn't even told her husband yet, but she was SO excited! I was 9w at the time and hadn't told anyone yet. But, that really warmed my heart! To see that much joy, I couldn't help but want to support and love on her despite any misgivings I may have had.
    BFP 11/2/10! First Dr's appt 11/30/10, shows Blighted Ovum measuring~ 5.9w @ 7w5d Natural Miscarraige 12/10/10 TTA unitl Feb, waiting BARE minimum before hopping back in the saddle So ready to try again, but I will never forget my first baby. BFP#2 02/06/11!!!! *stick baby, stick!* Team Green turn Team PINK 10/09/11 BFP #3 02/23/13...SURPRISE! Lilypie Pregnancy tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
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