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May 2012 Moms
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Need some kid advice

stemms8810stemms8810 member
in May 2012 Moms
My H and I want to take LO to an aquarium just us and him this Friday to celebrate his birthday and have quality time with just him on his special day.  Well, now I am having mom guilt about not taking our DD with us.  She will be in school anyway so it's not like we are leaving her with anyone while we go but I still feel bad.  I know it's ok to spend separate quality time with each of your kids though.  Anyone else do this and feel guilty?  Are we wrong for doing this and that's why I feel this way?  My H really wants the special time with just him on that day and reminded me we do a lot of things just for DD so it's the same thing.
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Re: Need some kid advice

  • hopefulmom81hopefulmom81 member

    I am one and done, so I can't totally relate, but I do think it is very important for families to hang out and do activities in all different combinations of members.

    It is a good lesson to your DD that his birthday is his special day, just like her birthday can be her special day.  Maybe you can take just DD out for a special day sooner than her actual birthday if it is farther away? 

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  • MrsH11710MrsH11710 member

    I was in a slighty different situation but I felt the same exact way as you do. When I was dating my DH we would go do a bunch of fun things while my DS (from a previous relationship) was visiting his dad. I felt so guilty about enjoying myself without my DS since I knew that DS would have had a great time if he were with us.

    For your situation, I think you should enjoy the outing with your LO and DH. I'm sure you hardly ever do things without DD so every once in a while won't hurt. This will also give DH and LO some extra bonding time, which would be nice. And if the guilt is really getting to you then maybe you can arrange for a special trip to get some ice cream or a special treat just for her?


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  • EMOmammaEMOmamma member
    I have the day off on DD's birthday but I'm taking both of them to DC in the morning.  I'll spend the morning getting ready for DD's party and when she wakes up from nap I'm going to go pick just her up and do something just the 2 of us (like swimming).  I think it's totally fine to spoil one kid on their birthday.

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  • kcircellkcircell
    Don't feel guilty, it is great to make each one of your children feel special.  Plus on the upside it isn't like DS can come home and talk his sisters' ear off about what fun he had, so DD probably wont even release or care much what you all did during the day.
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  • stemms8810stemms8810 member
    imagehopefulmom81:

    I am one and done, so I can't totally relate, but I do think it is very important for families to hang out and do activities in all different combinations of members.

    It is a good lesson to your DD that his birthday is his special day, just like her birthday can be her special day.  Maybe you can take just DD out for a special day sooner than her actual birthday if it is farther away? 

    This is a good idea.  Her birthday is in December so it is very far away.  I think I will find something for me and her after school gets out.

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  • stemms8810stemms8810 member
    imageMrsH11710:

    I was in a slighty different situation but I felt the same exact way as you do. When I was dating my DH we would go do a bunch of fun things while my DS (from a previous relationship) was visiting his dad. I felt so guilty about enjoying myself without my DS since I knew that DS would have had a great time if he were with us.

    For your situation, I think you should enjoy the outing with your LO and DH. I'm sure you hardly ever do things without DD so every once in a while won't hurt. This will also give DH and LO some extra bonding time, which would be nice. And if the guilt is really getting to you then maybe you can arrange for a special trip to get some ice cream or a special treat just for her?

    You're right, I could do something like this as well. 

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  • fryratfryrat member
    DD's godparents have 4 kids. They totally do a one on one day for each kid for their birrthday. It helps the kids to not feel like they have to compete for mommy's/daddy's attention.
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  • stemms8810stemms8810 member
    Thank you everyone!  I feel so much better doing this now!
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  • bellelambbellelamb member
    I think it will be great and is a great idea. Enjoy
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