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Intro

Sarah52BethSarah52Beth member
in Military Families

My H and I are recently married.  We have decided to TTC right away.  I wanted to introduce myself here.  My H is in the Air Force.  I am not new to the military lifestyle.  My dad was in the Marine Corps for 27 years; however, it is quite different being the spouse now and not the daughter.

 My H is deploying in the Spring of 2014, so we are "trying" for a couple of cycles.  If nothing happens we will try at the beginning of 2014.  

 We are doing this because if we are successful now he will be here for the whole pregnancy and birth before he deploys.  Waiting until 2014 has him gone for most of the pregnancy, but here for the birth.  Our main objective is for him to be here for the birth.

 I would love to hear from any of y'all who were working around a deployment while ttc. 

TTC April 2013
M/C 1/15 @ 6 weeks
RE 8/16
Monitored Clomid 11/15
M/C 12/16 @ 6 weeks
Clomid & Ovidrel Shot
M/C 2/16 @ 8 weeks
*Currently on Clomid (monitored) and waiting on tissue results.
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Re: Intro

  • shill0810shill0810
    Well...My hubby wasn't deployed during my pregnancy with our daughter (my oldest was 3 months when we met) and it was really hard not having him around for the pregnancy. He missed the birth too by 1 1/2 days. He left for boot camp (Marine Corps) when I was about 3 months along and was away at his different schools and such until she was about 4 months old. So he missed all of that other than the week or so he had time to come visit. It may seem easier that he would at least be back for the birth, but watching how excited hubby is with this pregnancy makes me wish he had been there for hers too.
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  • Lissa832Lissa832 member

    I would have preferred having my dh gone for the pregnancy but home for the birth and first year. The pregnancy is the easy part. The first year is where it gets tough. And, put yourself in his shoes. Would you want to have this baby and then leave for a few months. Babies change so much, and I know my dh would have been devastated to miss that part. It would have been a lot more stressful on me having him gone during the infancy as well.

    If it was me, I'd enjoy being married for a bit, and start trying next year. 

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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    We chose to wait through H's 2 deployments over 2 years, and I'm very glad we did.  There was a point before the 2nd deployment that we thought NBD if we got pregnant now since it's only a 5 month deployment and you'll be home.  Yeah, so glad we didn't because the 5 month deployment got extended twice and he was gone for 8 months.  There were tons of wives who ended up giving birth before they got back because of the unplanned extensions. While I would be fine being alone during the pregnancy, deployments and schedules change and get extended all the time.  It was too important to H to be here for the birth and time after that so we waited.
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  • esullivan05esullivan05

    Beachy730- "There was a point before the 2nd deployment that we thought NBD if we got pregnant now since it's only a 5 month deployment and you'll be home.  Yeah, so glad we didn't because the 5 month deployment got extended twice and he was gone for 8 months."

    This is exactly what happened to us! 5 month turned into 8. My hubby was deployed last year and we waited to try until he was home. He is set to deploy again spring of 2014 and we are expecting in July. His last deployment was extended twice and I have friends who delivered without their husbands. There really is no good way to plan in this life. You have to just go with what feels right for you! Just when you think you have it all figured out, the military is bound to throw you for a loop. 

    Good luck! I hope your hubby will be there for as much as he can! 

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  • Sarah52BethSarah52Beth member

    Thank you for your advice!  It is hard to plan with H being in the military.  Hopefully things will work out well.  I just can't imagine waiting until Fall 2014 to TRY.  I know that how we have thought through this that he will miss out on something whether it be me pregnant or 6 months of infancy.  I guess we will see what happens this go round.

     Again, I appreciate all the info and thoughts.  It has given me a lot to consider! 

    TTC April 2013
    M/C 1/15 @ 6 weeks
    RE 8/16
    Monitored Clomid 11/15
    M/C 12/16 @ 6 weeks
    Clomid & Ovidrel Shot
    M/C 2/16 @ 8 weeks
    *Currently on Clomid (monitored) and waiting on tissue results.
    Report Reply
  • LyndseylovesHughLyndseylovesHugh member
    We found out after we got pregnant that my H was deploying.  Luckily he was here for the birth and the first 7 weeks, but it has been hard having him gone with a little baby.  She will be about 11 months old when he gets back.  He was also gone for quite a bit of my pregnancy because of training, but that was not nearly as difficult, I had an easy pregnancy.  When we discuss TTC we are taking into consideration training he has after the deployment (Ranger school and Captains Career Course) because if I can avoid having him gone during the early months I will.  But with that being said, since the military is so unpredictable we will try to work around things like training and deployment, but we will not put our lives on hold because of it.  We were ready to have a baby, so even if we had known he was deploying would have still tried to get pregnant when we did.  If you plan to much and try for the perfect time it may never happen.
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  • Sarah52BethSarah52Beth member

    imageLyndseylovesHugh:
    We found out after we got pregnant that my H was deploying.  Luckily he was here for the birth and the first 7 weeks, but it has been hard having him gone with a little baby.  She will be about 11 months old when he gets back.  He was also gone for quite a bit of my pregnancy because of training, but that was not nearly as difficult, I had an easy pregnancy.  When we discuss TTC we are taking into consideration training he has after the deployment (Ranger school and Captains Career Course) because if I can avoid having him gone during the early months I will.  But with that being said, since the military is so unpredictable we will try to work around things like training and deployment, but we will not put our lives on hold because of it.  We were ready to have a baby, so even if we had known he was deploying would have still tried to get pregnant when we did.  If you plan to much and try for the perfect time it may never happen.

    Thank you for that!  That's kind of how I feel.  I know that we will have to give up something with this impending deployment whether it be him gone for part of the pregnancy or gone for 6 months of the baby's infancy, but I don't want to completely put off ttc until he gets back from deployment in the Fall of 2014.  Maybe I am being naive, but our families live 7 hours away.  Neither of our moms work and I know if I EVER needed anything they would come stay with me.  We also have grandparents who love to travel.  That combined with a great support system we have here, I think I could manage.  Of course life would be easier if he were here for all of it, but as we all know as military spouses, that just isn't reality.

     I really appreciate your advice and telling me about your experience.  It is very helpful! 

    TTC April 2013
    M/C 1/15 @ 6 weeks
    RE 8/16
    Monitored Clomid 11/15
    M/C 12/16 @ 6 weeks
    Clomid & Ovidrel Shot
    M/C 2/16 @ 8 weeks
    *Currently on Clomid (monitored) and waiting on tissue results.
    Report Reply
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