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Really could use some advice....

BostonBaby21BostonBaby21
in Babies on the Brain

Hey Ladies,

Could use some advice. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and recently got engaged in December. I'm 30 and he's 31. He has an 8 year old (whom I love to death and would do anything for) from a previous relationship and has always said he wanted another kid. Seeing that I have none of my own this was great. He always talks about how much he wants a baby and can't wait until we finally have one. But recently, we had thought I may have been pregnant and when that wasnt the case he was really bummed out. Now fast foward 2 weeks and he is dead set on not having any other kids. To the point that he is thinking about a vesectomy. He is known to over react with something is bothering him (thanks to his dads genes) which i am used to by now and usually just let the given issue be until he settles down but it has been 2 nights of nonstop arguements over this. He basically told me if I want a baby than I should probably find someone else. Does anyone have any thoughts on how to handle this, without making a decision I may regret?

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Re: Really could use some advice....

  • joanithegreatjoanithegreat member
    Has he said why he decided he doesn't want more kids?
    If you are 100% sure that you want kids and he is 100% sure that he doesn't, then you may have to walk away from the relationship.
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  • BostonBaby21BostonBaby21
    not really other than he said he's already done it once and the more he's thought about it he doesnt want to do it again, it will just set us back financially and stuff like that. It was honestly like an over night change in decision which is making my mind go nuts. He's always been more eager to have one than myself. I'm not 100% sure I fully want one but I'm not 100% sure I dont either. Just feeling really lost right now.
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  • magdalina.hmagdalina.h member
    Kids were a deal breaker for me. If MH had said during the engagement that he didn't want kids, I wouldn't have stayed with him.
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  • CarolineEmmaCarolineEmma member

    kid have always been a crucial issue to me. like a 3rd date question. I did not want to waste time on guys who don't want kids.

     

    if you stay with him and he doesn't change his mind and you do, you'll either be making a huge huge sacrifice or breaking up a family.  don't let this issue hang unresolved.

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  • dragossoul84dragossoul84 member
    I would suggest holding off on getting married until you both have a definite idea what you want. For me having children was crucial. Maybe you both should agree to take some time to decide what you really want. He can put off the vasectomy and use birth control and in a month or two come back to the issue?
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