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August 2013 Moms
firefly8490
member
predators...
firefly8490
member
nbsp;I'm not whining, or asking for advice, I'm just wondering if you guys have thought about this. It's long, but it's important.This may be my paranoia and protective instincts kicking in, but it's something that's weighing on my mind anyway. I had not given a second thought to it until something happened today that made me question the integrity and mindset of someone in my family.A little background: I have halfsibs on my dad's side ranging in age from 2448 and a halfsister on my mom's side age 25. I didn't grow up around the older kids on my dad's side, matter of fact I didn't know two of them were in existence until I was 19. Today, the oldest brother on my dad's side texted me out of the blue, which is very rare I usually hear from him once every few months and asked me for a picture of my sister on my mom's side of the family.He then proceeded to request that I text it to him, or have her text it to him and give her his phone number, and see if I could give him her phone number "just in case; you never know what might happen." Red flags went up all over the place. He's always been a little creepy, but I just attributed it to him being a touchyfeely affectionate kind of person, and maybe that was house he was raised. Anyway, I talked my mom about it, and to another brother on my dad's side, before telling my sister what was going on and had a course of action in place as to how I was going to deal with this. The whole thing just seemed a little too "predatorial".nbsp;So tonight I posted a typical bump pic on FB and got a dozen plus likes and a few comments, including one from the predatorial brother that said "My beautiful baby sister!" Prior to today I would have just blown it off as him being touchyfeely blah blah blah my family isn't known for their comments like that, but this time it just rubbed me the wrong way. I almost felt a little violated, after having dealt with his predatorial advances towards my sister, and wondering and having scary suspicions of WTF his motives were for wanting those pictures of her.So I got to thinking...TB is public right? So the bump pics we post of ourselves are public right? RIGHT! I did a test on my own profile, not logged in from a browser I've never logged in from, I could see my entire Bio, pics included. Do you guys realize that there are people in the world that sexually thrive on ordinary pictures of ordinary women, and even moreso on pictures of pregnantnbsp;women?!nbsp;I've since taken down all of my bump pics on TB and it will stay that way. Yeah it's cool to be able to visually share my progress with my bump sisters and to be able to see theirs, but it's not worth my being the object of some pervert's affections. I'm not saying you all need to talk your pics down, I'm just saying you might want to be aware that TB is literally a pregnancy perverts toy store. I feel so jaded against the world now, and the last thing I want to do is to set myself up to be the subject of that mess.nbsp;
ETA: text from half brother to me. I took her name out but left her initial.
Hey little sis'? What's up? How is my soon to be nephew coming along? I've been praying for you. Hope you have a smooth and easy delivery. I have a request. Do you have a recent picture or so of D? I had a picture of us with D in it when we were at the Mexican restaurant in Waycross. Somehow or another, I've accidentally erased some of my puctures on my phone and the picture with D in it was one of them. If you don't have one that you can text to me, see if D has one she can text to me. I would rather have stuff like that texted to me instead of emailed. I don't know if she has my phone number, but make sure she gets it even if she doesn't have a picture to send me. I don't think that I have her phone number. If it is Ok with her, could I get her number? Never know when you may need to get in touch with someone or just want to call and say hello. Talk to you later. I love you.
ETA: text from half brother to me. I took her name out but left her initial.
Hey little sis'? What's up? How is my soon to be nephew coming along? I've been praying for you. Hope you have a smooth and easy delivery. I have a request. Do you have a recent picture or so of D? I had a picture of us with D in it when we were at the Mexican restaurant in Waycross. Somehow or another, I've accidentally erased some of my puctures on my phone and the picture with D in it was one of them. If you don't have one that you can text to me, see if D has one she can text to me. I would rather have stuff like that texted to me instead of emailed. I don't know if she has my phone number, but make sure she gets it even if she doesn't have a picture to send me. I don't think that I have her phone number. If it is Ok with her, could I get her number? Never know when you may need to get in touch with someone or just want to call and say hello. Talk to you later. I love you.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: predators...
This is why a lot of ladies don't show their faces in their bump pictures, or "watermark" their photos in their siggys.
But like PP said, if people want your pictures or info, they'll get them. Did you also know that as part of the terms and conditions to FB any picture you have ever uploaded on there is public property? They reserve the right to sell photos or any information you put on there. That's how you get specific ads on the side. It's the age of too much information and everyone online is a victim.
So does that mean you will take down all your FB photos too? I choose not to obsess over things like this.
No, because my FB is private. You can't see my photos unless you're a friend. And my brother's photo privileges are being revoked.
Meh. I try not to over think these things. I am with amarissa on this one. I did some professional photos and my photographer was proud of her work and wanted to post them online. I am fully aware that these photos will now be forever on the Internet but it doesn't bother me. If I was to think/worry about this; I would definitely be more concerned about addresses, phone #'s, etc.
But it is what it is and in today's day and age it's almost impossible to prevent if you use any online resources/media outlets.
To each their own I guess!
I can still see your profile pic if I was to search you on FB.
The point is still the same. When you upload photos on the Internet they are public property. I respect you wanting to be "private"...to each his own. But to me it's all the same IMO.
facebook can still be hacked. trust me on this one. I have friends who can see EVERYTHING on my profile when not logged in.
And if someone decides that a picture of a plus sized chick with a bump is sexy... whatever...
Also: even if you removed those photos... people could have already saved them on their hard drives. once its on the internet... there is no way of getting it back.
The only way to really protect yourself is to not post anything else ever. Hackers can get into anything, past any firewall.
Oh, and if you need your computer fixed, those geeks can see ANYTHING on your computer.
In other words, I accepted years ago that there is no amount of paranoia that will make me predator safe. (except locking myself in my house and never leaving... EVER...)
"I'll never post a picture online." computer can get hacked and all your photos are accessible anyways
"I'll take only film photos" and someone else develops them...
"I'll never take photos" but someone can spot your hot bump on the street and take a picture with their phone.
DH: 37
Married: May 24, 2008
TTC #2 since: June 2020
That's kind of what I was thinking.
The reason why it's creepy to me is this: my [48 year old] brother in one interaction with me was asking for pictures of my sister on my moms side [i say that to stress that they are not related and have only met once, and don't talk to each other.] and the way he approached me in that manner sent up red flags, then he commented on a picture of me in the same day. We don't really talk either.
Because of what happened earlier, I already felt like he was a little pervy, so it was like a pervert commenting on how beautiful I am.
And I'm aware all the internet is public, etc, but you can't tell I'm pregnant y searching for me on FB. Here on the birth month boards, everyone is. Which makes for easy targets IMO.
Maybe he is working on a family tree or family album? I still don't see how he is being creepy but I do believe in instincts and if yours is telling you to be careful then you should listen.
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I can't roll my eyes hard enough at you.
This
I'm thinking the same thing. Or maybe he's come down with some sort if illness and trying to reconnect with the little family he has while he still can. You never know. Unless he's given you reasons previously that would make you think it's something more, I'm surprised you'd jump the gun like that to question his motives.
They are not family.
They are not related.
He is a half sib on my dads side and she is a half sib on a moms side. We're it not for me, there would be no link between them whatsoever. He and I didn't even know that each other existed until 4 years ago. He does not need photos of her, he does not need her phone number. Even my sister said that if something were to happen to him, other than it affecting me, it would not affect her life in the least. This is literally like a stranger asking me for pics of my sister. For what?! And he wanted them texted not emailed because he 'prefers things like this be texted'.
As I said before, I'm not saying that you all should do this or do that, just food for thought.
She is 25. He is 48. They are both married. I'm sure I am overreacting to the fb comment it's just when you see someone as a creeper, it's hard not to overextend that. And after I replied with an update of LO and told him that his number is on the phone tree for Him to be notified when LO is born, he hasn't said anything else to me. It was like three sentences of how are you and LO? Followed by an iPhone screen and a half of 'can I have a pic of your sister and her number?'
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