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How often do you have sex when trying?

TravelingCoupleTravelingCouple member
in Trying to Get Pregnant

Hi everyone! New to the boards here. My husband and I are going to be trying for our first baby, very excited! Two part question to gather some thoughts and opinions on. I've read differing opinions on how often to have sex during the week you're ovulating. Some say to have it every other day to have the "best" sperm, others say try every day. What're your experiences and what worked for you? I know there's no guaranteed way since everyone's body is different. Just wanted some thoughts.

 Second part of the question, did you find sex become more of a chore than enjoyable? Since this is our first time trying, I want to do what I can to still make it fun and not just an ends-to-a-mean. How'd you keep it fun?

 Thanks and very happy to have found this board and all of you :)

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Re: How often do you have sex when trying?

  • sunlavendersunlavender member
    People get pregnant having sex everyday, every other day, and sometimes just once. Unfortunately there isn't a set formula.

    As for keeping things lively, it can be a chore. I would suggest not forcing everyday if you aren't that type of couple. It can become tedious quickly that way. Be spontaneous, have fun, and try you best not to make it all about trying to get pregnant. That's the best you can do.

    Good luck!

    imageimageimage

    Trying to get knocked up since June 2012 ~ Dx: PCOS

    BFP 7.24.13 ~ EDD 4.2.14 ~ m/c  9.16.13 @ 11w4d

    BFP 5.4.14 ~ EDD 1.12.15 ~ stick little bean!

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  • modernfairytale8709modernfairytale8709 member

    As much as possible. We try for ED, but EOD is what we usually end up with.

    Like Naria said, ED can start to feel like a chore.

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  • TravelingCoupleTravelingCouple member

    imageNariaDreaming:
    It's EOD for us simply because daily feels like a chore

     Yeah that's what I was thinking. Does anyone else feel like Monica and Chandler from Friends? Whenever she was ovulating, off they went! ;) I'm a Friends addict so I tend to equate real life to Friends sometimes haha

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  • jamiecaljamiecal member

    We have been doing EOD (every other day) during my fertile period.  It's not fun anymore.  It's a chore.  I'm sick of it.  LOL.

     Luckily DH has a great sense of humor.  It's stressful for both of us and we tend to put a lot of pressure on ourselves, but we've been doing the best we can to make it fun.  We try to remember that we are not just 2 people trying to make a baby, we are also newlyweds, so we've been going on dates, trying some new experiences (going sailing soon!), and just enjoying our first year of marriage instead of putting the pressure on.  It's easy to get lost in the focus of baby making and forget to enjoy each other.  Trying to keep our perspective has helped us quite a bit.

    Good luck to you!

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  • CMSullivan326CMSullivan326 member
    We've done both. EOD usually works better for us because after trying for so long, I'm effing sick of sex.

    But Welcome and GL.
    <3 *Evan Michael* <3
    {06/15/2010 ~ 9lbs. 4oz, 22.5in.}
    <3 *Twin Angel Babies* <3
    {Said Goodbye on 08/13/2011 at 17w3d}
    No longer TTC
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  • beckynsean11beckynsean11 member

    imagesunlavender:
    People get pregnant having sex everyday, every other day, and sometimes just once. Unfortunately there isn't a set formula. As for keeping things lively, it can be a chore. I would suggest not forcing everyday if you aren't that type of couple. It can become tedious quickly that way. Be spontaneous, have fun, and try you best not to make it all about trying to get pregnant. That's the best you can do. Good luck!

    All of this! I'd be thrilled with EOD. Not every couple is an ED couple. Forcing it can make it feel like a chore & make your man feel like nothing more than a sperm donor. GL to you! 


       Me: IR-PCOS, elevated DHEAs, low progesterone, weak ovulation  DH: low volume, low T
    SHG 5/10/13: both tubes blocked; HSG 6/28 = Left tube cleared! Right blocked.
    BFP#1 7/20/13 EDD 3/30/14, m/c 8/19/13, D&E 8/21/13, Chromosomal results = normal, female
    Lap & hysteroscopy scheduled for 10/31, right tube cleared, no endo found! ...Happy Halloween!
    Cycle 14: Clomid (50)+ IUI = BFP! EDD 9/16/14~ Rowan Elizabeth born sleeping at 17w4d on 4/12/14 due to IC.
    ~There is no foot too small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world~
    New RE June 2014. RPL b/w - negative. SIS looking for uterine/cervical abnormalities & Asherman's 6/10/14 - ALL CLEAR!  
    Cycle 16: Natural IUI = CP, Cycle 17: Femara (2.5) + IUI = BFN, Cycle 18 Femara (5) + IUI = BFFN, Cycle 19: Break
    Cycle 20: Clomid (50)+ IUI = BFP EDD 6/20, transvaginal cerclage 12/19, Carson Quinn born sleeping at 16w3d on 1/6/15 due to IC
    Phone consult with Dr. Haney (Univ of Chicago) for transabdominal cercalge scheduled for 2/9/15.
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  • TravelingCoupleTravelingCouple member
    imageCycloneErin:

    We have found that EOD works best for us. As others have said, ED can make it feel like a chore instead of something fun/sexy.

    Prior to TTC, we were once-a-week type of people, so EOD makes more sense for us. It really depends on what you and your H are most comfortable with during your cycle.

     Yeah I'm forseeing EOD being better for us too. With both of our work schedules it'd just be too much of a chore trying ED (I'm picking up on these acronyms slowly ;). And going along with my last post, I love your siggy!

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  • candrew05candrew05 member
    imageTravelingCouple:

    imageNariaDreaming:
    It's EOD for us simply because daily feels like a chore

     Yeah that's what I was thinking. Does anyone else feel like Monica and Chandler from Friends? Whenever she was ovulating, off they went! ;) I'm a Friends addict so I tend to equate real life to Friends sometimes haha

    Me too!  Especially the scene where Monica is mad at Chandler for smoking she pretends to make up to get in bed.  Ya...that feels like us sometimes haha.

     DH has a low count, we still do it maybe every 24 hours during my known fertile week. 

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  • TravelingCoupleTravelingCouple member
    imagejamiecal:

    We have been doing EOD (every other day) during my fertile period.  It's not fun anymore.  It's a chore.  I'm sick of it.  LOL.

     Luckily DH has a great sense of humor.  It's stressful for both of us and we tend to put a lot of pressure on ourselves, but we've been doing the best we can to make it fun.  We try to remember that we are not just 2 people trying to make a baby, we are also newlyweds, so we've been going on dates, trying some new experiences (going sailing soon!), and just enjoying our first year of marriage instead of putting the pressure on.  It's easy to get lost in the focus of baby making and forget to enjoy each other.  Trying to keep our perspective has helped us quite a bit.

    Good luck to you!

     

    Yes definitely, I'm sure keeping the romance alive certainly helps. And honestly, wow thank you to each and every one of you for your response! This blog is great! It's always better to go through an experience with others in your same boat, even if it's virtually. None of my friends or family are trying right now.

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  • jamiecaljamiecal member
    imageTravelingCouple:

    imageNariaDreaming:
    It's EOD for us simply because daily feels like a chore

     Yeah that's what I was thinking. Does anyone else feel like Monica and Chandler from Friends? Whenever she was ovulating, off they went! ;) I'm a Friends addict so I tend to equate real life to Friends sometimes haha

    I'm right there with you - everything I ever quote is Mean Girls or Friends! Every time I see those episodes I think of when her dad found them making babies in the closet of the hospital, lol. Gross!

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  • TravelingCoupleTravelingCouple member
    imagecandrew05:
    imageTravelingCouple:

    imageNariaDreaming:
    It's EOD for us simply because daily feels like a chore

     Yeah that's what I was thinking. Does anyone else feel like Monica and Chandler from Friends? Whenever she was ovulating, off they went! ;) I'm a Friends addict so I tend to equate real life to Friends sometimes haha

    Me too!  Especially the scene where Monica is mad at Chandler for smoking she pretends to make up to get in bed.  Ya...that feels like us sometimes haha.

     DH has a low count, we still do it maybe every 24 hours during my known fertile week. 

     

    Yes!! I love that episode, hilarious.

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  • TravelingCoupleTravelingCouple member
    imagejamiecal:
    imageTravelingCouple:

    imageNariaDreaming:
    It's EOD for us simply because daily feels like a chore

     Yeah that's what I was thinking. Does anyone else feel like Monica and Chandler from Friends? Whenever she was ovulating, off they went! ;) I'm a Friends addict so I tend to equate real life to Friends sometimes haha

    I'm right there with you - everything I ever quote is Mean Girls or Friends! Every time I see those episodes I think of when her dad found them making babies in the closet of the hospital, lol. Gross!

     

    There are so many good ones with them trying! Hopefully DH and I make it as fun as they seem to. Cool

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  • EmeJayEmeJay member

    We tried EOD, we tried ED, we tried more than once a day ...

    We now do it when we feel like it, sometimes it's 2 days back to back, sometimes it's 2 days without doing it, with the exception of the day I have a positive OPK.

     

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  • bsinnobsinno member
    this is a great question, i love the responses! I think its good to have sex while you AREN'T ovulating as well...just for moral overall...
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  • TravelingCoupleTravelingCouple member

    So, is it also smart/best practice to have sex on the actual DAY of ovulation too (assuming I can know when that is)? I never realized how much I didn't know about my body until I starting reading about how to make a baby and when. I know the sperm "hang out" for a couple of days and need to be present when ovulation occurs, so if you have sex the day of, is it too late since the sperm need to already be there?

    All things considered, the general consensus is, do what's best for us and what makes us comfortable :) I also want to make sure I have all the scientific info correct because, why not give it the best shot if we can right away?

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  • PegletPeglet member

    imagesunlavender:
    People get pregnant having sex everyday, every other day, and sometimes just once. Unfortunately there isn't a set formula. As for keeping things lively, it can be a chore. I would suggest not forcing everyday if you aren't that type of couple. It can become tedious quickly that way. Be spontaneous, have fun, and try you best not to make it all about trying to get pregnant. That's the best you can do. Good luck!

    Yes This. If we're really going for it, we try either EOD after my period, or every day during what I think is my fertile time. 

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  • Alicia_R1Alicia_R1 member
    We try for every day.  Though to not make it a chore or to seem like we only have sex just so we can have a baby, we average just over EOD on a regular basis through out the month. 

    Me: 34, DH: 32
    TTC Since September 2012
    Dx-PCOS, Anovulation, highly irregular cycles
    March 2013 Comid 50 mg+ TI #1: BFN
    April 2013 Clomid mg + TI #2: BFN
    IVM#1 Aug 2012: BFN
    20 FEB 2014:  CP
    IUI #1 Clomid 100mg  24 FEB 2014: BFN

    IUI #2 Clomid 100mg  21 MAR 2014: BFN

    IUI#3 Follistim & trigger 21 May 2014: BFN

    IVF #1 Follistim & Menopur: 14R, 9M, 7F, transfered 2 day 3 8 cell embies

    Beta #1: 7/30: 41  Beta #2 8/1: 96   Beta #3 8/4: 796   EDD:4/9/15

      

     

     

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    All Welcome 

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  • slaughter182slaughter182
    We're EOD usually, regardless of the time of month. If we go several days without it we both get cranky. 
    Married 5.15.2010
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  • dragossoul84dragossoul84 member
    DH and I are really physical people so when we were trying for our first we were quite happy with ED but now that we have DS we only manage EOD. It never felt like a chore to us it was just more reason to have fun :)
    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Ovulation Calculator"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt17cf53.aspx" alt=" BabyFruit Ticker" border="0"  /></a>
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  • brneyemom2brneyemom2 member
    ED but that's generally our sex life even if were not in my fertility window.
    image
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  • TravelingCoupleTravelingCouple member
    imageNariaDreaming:
    imageTravelingCouple:

    So, is it also smart/best practice to have sex on the actual DAY of ovulation too (assuming I can know when that is)? I never realized how much I didn't know about my body until I starting reading about how to make a baby and when. I know the sperm "hang out" for a couple of days and need to be present when ovulation occurs, so if you have sex the day of, is it too late since the sperm need to already be there?

    The egg will last for up to a day, so if you hit O-2, O-1 and O (or any combination of the above) you're in pretty good shape

    Thanks :)

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  • CalinAZCalinAZ member

    Now that I'm using a CBEFM and charting, we have sex EOD during my fertility week and ED when I "peak." This is usually about 3-4 times a month. 


    TTC #1 since August 2012 |  BFP August 17th, 2013  |    EDD April 25th, 2014
    Living with Vestibulodynia (Chronic pelvic pain)


    image

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