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Need to vent

elliotandnicoleelliotandnicole member
in November 2013 Moms

So, I just wanted to tell someone that we were having twins, and I knew I shouldn't have right after I said it, but I told one of DH's coworkers wives, and now she's blabbed to to others.  I had another friend from his work text me yesterday because it had already been through 5 people.  Wow.  I should have known better, but I'm just so upset, especially since I asked her not to tell anyone because the doctor said I'm high risk, and have a risk of losing one.  Should I lose one, it's not something I wanted to discuss with those people.  I'm so upset, and I don't really know how to handle the situation, because she's kind of a loose cannon to begin with.  She has been known to fly off the handle when confronted before.  She is also pregnant, so I thought she would be an understanding person to confide in, but obviously I was wrong, and now I've been burned and have to clean up the mess that she made.

 

Thanks for letting me vent.  I'm just so mad at this B right now I could explode! 

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Re: Need to vent

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    elliotandnicoleelliotandnicole member
    Any ideas on how to distract people from this news would be great, like when they ask me or DH, how would you respond?  
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    lizzyGSRlizzyGSR

    If you don't want to give a direct answer, you could always ask them a question back... something like "do I look like I'm carrying twins"?

     I announced to my family this weekend that I am pregnant.  Only a couple minutes after I announced, my grandmother looked over at my sister and asked her if she was pregnant.  My sister's response was "do I look like I'm pregnant?"  and then she proceeded to explain how she "blows up like a balloon" when she's pregnant, especially since this isn't her first child.  Only a couple hours after this, at the supper table she announced that she is, indeed, pregnant.  Her response stopped questions from us, at least until she was ready to announce a couple hours later. 

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    BelincaBelinca member
    Personally, the damage has been done. I guess the only thing left to do is let the people who know already keep their mouths shut. You also need to sit down with the person who blabbed tell them what they did wrong.
    I had something like that happen to me where I told a group of girls to keep a secret. Of course one of them told some of my family members before I could. I told he group of girls that I would tell everyone at a certain time. I ended up losing the baby and not telling everyone. Then some of my family members that knew ended up being thoroughly confused at the info they received. It ended up getting back to me a month later that they found out. Once they found out it was a miscarriage they didn't say anything else. Sometimes I wonder if that taught them a lesson, but the damage was done. I never talked to he one that spilled the beans, but never did.
    ....but you should let them just in case later down the road something else comes up.
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    MrsApplelovesMrAppleMrsApplelovesMrApple member
    That bites. I can understand you accidently telling her because twins is hard to keep to yourself- I blamed to a random teacher in the work room (luckily one who DOES keep a secret even though we are not close friends) but she had no reason to spread your news.
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    elliotandnicoleelliotandnicole member
    imagelizzyGSR:

    If you don't want to give a direct answer, you could always ask them a question back... something like "do I look like I'm carrying twins"?

     I announced to my family this weekend that I am pregnant.  Only a couple minutes after I announced, my grandmother looked over at my sister and asked her if she was pregnant.  My sister's response was "do I look like I'm pregnant?"  and then she proceeded to explain how she "blows up like a balloon" when she's pregnant, especially since this isn't her first child.  Only a couple hours after this, at the supper table she announced that she is, indeed, pregnant.  Her response stopped questions from us, at least until she was ready to announce a couple hours later. 

     

    Great advice!  Thanks!  That's awesome that your sister was able to divert it for a while!! 

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    elliotandnicoleelliotandnicole member

    imageBelinca:
    Personally, the damage has been done. I guess the only thing left to do is let the people who know already keep their mouths shut. You also need to sit down with the person who blabbed tell them what they did wrong. I had something like that happen to me where I told a group of girls to keep a secret. Of course one of them told some of my family members before I could. I told he group of girls that I would tell everyone at a certain time. I ended up losing the baby and not telling everyone. Then some of my family members that knew ended up being thoroughly confused at the info they received. It ended up getting back to me a month later that they found out. Once they found out it was a miscarriage they didn't say anything else. Sometimes I wonder if that taught them a lesson, but the damage was done. I never talked to he one that spilled the beans, but never did. ....but you should let them just in case later down the road something else comes up.

     

    What a bummer.  I'm so sorry your friend did that to you.  I was warned by the doctor of my risk, and asked her not to tell because of this, and that's why I'm hurt that she did blab too.  I'm so sorry about your loss.  This is why we've been waiting so long to even tell people we are pregnant in the first place... and we were definitely planning on waiting much longer to tell anyone it's twins.  I'm not sure I want the drama of the confrontation.  I feel like she would just explode everything out of proportion if I did, making it worse.  

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    elliotandnicoleelliotandnicole member
    imagemelisx33:

    It sux...why can't people keep their mouth shut? My MIL did the same thing. She insisted on telling people and couldn't understand that at six weeks we didn't want anyone knowing. 

    My rule: if I tell you and tell you NOT to say anything and you end up telling people, if something happens during the pregnancy, THEY are the ones to tell them.

    Also, I think it's really gutsy if people you haven't told come up to you and ask you about it. It really is none of their business unless you say something. It's your body and your pregnancy. 

     

     

    I like your rule.  If something happens, I'll bring it up to her and tell her she gets to tell the people she decided to inform without my permission.  I don't know why people can't just keep their mouths shut about things that don't concern them.  So frustrating.   

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    elliotandnicoleelliotandnicole member

    imageMrsApplelovesMrApple:
    That bites. I can understand you accidently telling her because twins is hard to keep to yourself- I blamed to a random teacher in the work room (luckily one who DOES keep a secret even though we are not close friends) but she had no reason to spread your news.

    Thanks.  I wish I had blabbed to a stranger instead!  I wouldn't have cared if she told her friends then!   

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    dnt27dnt27 member
    I'm sorry this happened to you. It totally sucks! We told DHs parents the day we got a blood test to confirm pregnancy. I am not fond of my MIL but I absolutely adore my FIL. I asked them both not to say a word to anyone, not even DHs siblings, that we are pregnant. She assured me she would not say a word. Not even 10 minutes after I got of the phone with her I got texts from 3 different people asking if I was pregnant. My MIL sent out a MASS text to pretty much everyone in her phone that DH and I are expecting. She completely blew off what I had said. So to piss her off I denied being pregnant and claimed not to know what they were talking about and that I had no idea where my MIL got that information from. It worked. No one has asked me since! We will be announcing to the rest if our families and friends after a [hopefully] good NT Scan.
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    elliotandnicoleelliotandnicole member

    imagednt27:
    I'm sorry this happened to you. It totally sucks! We told DHs parents the day we got a blood test to confirm pregnancy. I am not fond of my MIL but I absolutely adore my FIL. I asked them both not to say a word to anyone, not even DHs siblings, that we are pregnant. She assured me she would not say a word. Not even 10 minutes after I got of the phone with her I got texts from 3 different people asking if I was pregnant. My MIL sent out a MASS text to pretty much everyone in her phone that DH and I are expecting. She completely blew off what I had said. So to piss her off I denied being pregnant and claimed not to know what they were talking about and that I had no idea where my MIL got that information from. It worked. No one has asked me since! We will be announcing to the rest if our families and friends after a [hopefully] good NT Scan.

     

    What a jerk!  I'm so glad to know I'm not alone with this.  I love how you denied it, making her look like a jerk.   

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