Work Confrontation — The Bump
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Work Confrontation

I think this is more of a 'what is your style at work' type question.

Long story short a coworker received information about one of my programs from the customer. Not a big deal, but instead of just passing the message to me and giving me a heads up (which she should have done) she decided to contact one of her friends on the program and ask about this issue, then let me know, and then walked down to bring this up with my boss. I am annoyed by the situation but the PM is pissed. PM wants me to make it clear to her that in the future she should basically not do this.

My general style is to try and stay out of this type of stuff and keep peace, so I will probably not bring it up with her. The PM might bring it up with our boss, but I don't think it my place to tell him. DH thinks I'm crazy since he is in the military and tends to call a spade a spade (I remind him that I can be fired though). Do you say things to coworkers when they are out of line, mention it to your boss, let it go?

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Re: Work Confrontation

  • In a case like this, I would probably say something like "If something like this comes up again, feel free to contact me directly".  That is a nice way of reminding someone what protocol is in that situation.

    Was she trying to make you look bad?  I have found that the "tattle tales" end up making themselves look bad.  Keep it professional.

  • image hoping4sticky:

    I think this is more of a 'what is your style at work' type question.

    Long story short a coworker received information about one of my programs from the customer. Not a big deal, but instead of just passing the message to me and giving me a heads up (which she should have done) she decided to contact one of her friends on the program and ask about this issue, then let me know, and then walked down to bring this up with my boss. I am annoyed by the situation but the PM is pissed. PM wants me to make it clear to her that in the future she should basically not do this.

    My general style is to try and stay out of this type of stuff and keep peace, so I will probably not bring it up with her. The PM might bring it up with our boss, but I don't think it my place to tell him. DH thinks I'm crazy since he is in the military and tends to call a spade a spade (I remind him that I can be fired though). Do you say things to coworkers when they are out of line, mention it to your boss, let it go?

    where on the chain of command does the PM fall in relation to you and your boss?

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  • image Virgo17:

    In a case like this, I would probably say something like "If something like this comes up again, feel free to contact me directly".  That is a nice way of reminding someone what protocol is in that situation.

    Was she trying to make you look bad?  I have found that the "tattle tales" end up making themselves look bad.  Keep it professional.

    No, she is just one of those people that tries to be in the middle of everything.

     

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  • image Iblamethebeer:
    where on the chain of command does the PM fall in relation to you and your boss?

    Separate chain of command, but he is an internal stakeholder.

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  • image Virgo17:

    In a case like this, I would probably say something like "If something like this comes up again, feel free to contact me directly".  That is a nice way of reminding someone what protocol is in that situation.

    Agreed - Or you could say "Did you get the answer you were looking for?  If not, we'd be happy to discuss with you."



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  •  always try to take any issues I have up with my co-workers rather than go to the boss.  I think it is completely inappropriate to go over someone's head unless they have done something completely unethical or truly aggregious...or unless you bring up a problem with them over and over again and it isn't resolved.  The only time I have ever by-passed a co-worker was when I found out she had forged my boss's signature on a letter that mis-stated her salary (and how long she had been working) in order to get benefits from the government.  In other words, she forged his signature to commit fraud.

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  • image hoping4sticky:

    image Iblamethebeer:
    where on the chain of command does the PM fall in relation to you and your boss?

    Separate chain of command, but he is an internal stakeholder.

    Hm.  Why isn't he having the conversation with her, then?  I would think that makes more sense.

    Anyway, I like the idea of non-confrontationally saying something like "next time it would be easier if you could bring these sorts of things to me and then I can handle it with my manager as appropriate."

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  • If the PM is pissed then I think they need to take it up with her/your boss to tell her how she should handle things. Does anyone know why the customer went to her instead of you? 

    But I don't think it hurts for you to tell her something along the lines that a PP mentioned like "if you receive something about one of my programs please let me know so I can be in the loop". If the customer does this again then you are back in the same situation if she does things the same way.

    Lillian April 17, 2012
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