Mom's of 3 or more....need your advice — The Bump
Babies: 0 - 3 Months

Mom's of 3 or more....need your advice

So I am full term 37 wks tmw so she can come any day now.  This is our 3rd...others are 4 and 2.  The 2 yr old is very clingy - gone through a lot of change in the past 6 months - losing binky, moving to toddler bed, potty training, etc.  so here is my question - my dh can take 1 month of paternity leave.  I think I will need the help right away and want him to take it the first month after she is born.  He wants to take it at the end to help transition the kids to my returning to work (I work ft, but was put n bedrest at the beginning of my 7th month so all said and done i will have been home with them for 6 months) .   Understand his point but I am nervous about how to handle a newborn with the other two alone - ESP. With my dd being so needy right now.  Dh is an rn so he works 12 hr shifts 3 days a week - that makes me single mom for the days he works - n help at all.  So - what do you think- take paternity right away or wait?  Thanks - and any advice on how to manage three would be great! 

Re: Mom's of 3 or more....need your advice

  • Can he take 2 weeks when the baby comes and 2 weeks when you go back to work?
    5.18.11 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BabyFruit Ticker EDD 3.12.13
  • I would have him take it at the beginning personally. With my DD the first couple weeks were exhausting, I couldn't imagine trying to take care of the other kids at the same time. Especially if you have any complications (c-section) you will need help with the big kids. You'll want to take naps and you won't be sleeping well at night.  

    I don't think him taking off time at the end will ease their transition honestly. It will just be 2 transitions for them (getting used to Mommy not being there, and then getting used to Daddy not being there).

    I think he should trust your judgement on when you will need the most help. 

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  • I think I'd prefer all at once. DD3 is almost 5 weeks, and I still find it challenging to take care of 3 kids at once. DD3 is pretty needy and generally wants to nurse all evening long. I'm getting very good at doing everything one handed. I would think that by the end of your maternity leave, baby will have a better routine, and you won't need as much help from DH.
    Annalise Marie 05.29.06
    Charlotte Ella 07.16.10
    Emmeline Grace 03.27.13
  • I have an 8yr old and a 2 yr old and now NB. Previously I have had no one but this time my mom travelled over to help me out. I don't know what I would of done this last few weeks without her. Of course we all cope but it would of been so much harder. Sleep deprivation, BF, my 2yr old not listening, 8yr old feeling left out blaah.. lol In the beginning there is zero routine and I feel like establishing "ground" rules with everyone in the beginning is very important. 

    I don't have any specific advice as I am still figuring it all out myself but I can tell you I am very tired... having someone to watch baby while I nap with my 2 yr old is priceless! I look forward to tomorrow for my nap! LOL 


  • I say right away because my 2 year old was a bit of a handful when I first came home with the baby.  My older kids needed to adjust too.  LO is now 6 weeks old and everyone is adjusted and I feel like the hard part is over.

  • Thanks everyone.  Unfortunately he has to take his leave all in one chunk.  I'm going to share this link with him so he can see others opinions that just so happen to agree with mine, :) 
  • image brauchtm:
    Thanks everyone.  Unfortunately he has to take his leave all in one chunk.  I'm going to share this link with him so he can see others opinions that just so happen to agree with mine, :) 

    i agree with PPs. The first month is the hardest as it is, esp those 3-4 weeks when your hormones are peaking, LO will be hitting a growth spurt, establishing BF if you are, plus healing. I saw all in one chunk-by the time you transition to work you'll have it all figured out and will be able to do it yourself. 

    BabyFetus Ticker Little Riley-our first little girl coming March 1st, 2013 (or sometime around there;)
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