Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
Options
Feeling Guilty
I miscarried a couple weeks ago at 5/6 weeks. It's my second mc. The first one took me up until the week before I mc this last time to get over (5 years). The first time I was 2 months. This time just over a month...and it's been a couple weeks and emotionally I feel fine and we have plans to start trying again as soon as we can and this makes me feel guilty. Has anyone else gone through this? I feel like it took me so long to get over my first mc that I feel guilty that I think I feel normal again so quickly. I feel like it's an injustice to my baby - that I'm so how betraying the baby. and since no one really knows about my miscarriage except my husband, I really just needed to say it.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Feeling Guilty
I lost my first baby at 10 and a half weeks and never had an us because my first was scheduled for 12w. My OB had told me at my first appointment at 8w to continue doing everything I was for exercise and scale as needed, my diet was great and I was already taking vitamins and had stopped drinking any wine, beer or alcohol. So I continued to CrossFit 4x a week and eat my normal diet.
Once I lost the baby I was convinced that my Paleo lifestyle and super high intensity workouts and heavy lifting were the cause of my mc so once I got pg with my second I stopped working out and changed my diet back to the average American's. I didn't lift anything even remotely heavy and only walked my dog. Everything looked great in my early visits and I still miscarried again at 10w. I now proved to myself that there was absolutely nothing I did to cause my mc's and there isn't anything I really could have done to avoid them...I'm still waiting for the rest of my testing results from this mc to prove this really has been bad luck, but I'm not blaming myself for anything.
Please do not beat yourself up, you have been a great mom to your babies.
BFP #1 11/19/12 EDD: 7/25/13 Natural MC on 12/31/12 at 10w4d
BFP#2 3/1/13 EDD: 11/5/13 Missed MC 4/9/13 at 10w D&C 4/11/13
Baby #2 diagnosed with Trisomy 16. Diagnosed Hetero MTHFR.
BFP#3 8/5/13 EDD: 4/13/14 Team Green Turned Team Blue! Our rainbow baby, Griffin R arrived via c-section (breech since 20w) on 4/11/14.
.
~~Everyone Always Welcome~~
Thank you for your sweet words and for calling me a mom. I can't tell you how much it breaks my heart to hear people tell me "oh you don't know, you've never been a mom".
and in that short time from my post to now, my DH just told me that we aren't ttc (though I'm pretty sure there was an attempt yesterday) and that we are just "preparing to ttc" by saving money so now I feel like I've had my hope taken away again. I just want to throw my hands up, cry and just sleep and not face anything right now. I wish this wasn't so hard.
And I'm just an emotional basket tonight.
I wish this wasn't so hard for all of us.
...and yes I realize that the chances of me getting pg right now are next to nothing, but it was the hope that made it ok...
Actually....the doctor who handled my miscarriage in the ER yesterday told me for the first 3 months post miscarriage, you're extremely fertile. BUT, she also said that you're supposed to give yourself at least 6 months to heal physically. Very contradicting, I know.
interesting. I was told to wait 1 cycle then we could start trying again...but I guess that's not happening for awhile now anyways since DH changed his mind.
We are mothers, even for those of us who have lost our babies before they were born. No one can take that away from us. As for DH maybe give him a little time and ask again. You cannot be preparing to TTC and not be on any BC which I assume that you are not so he is just being odd I think.
I am sorry for your loss, ::hugs:: I also wish this wasn't so hard.