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Still won't calm for dh

st.augbridest.augbride member
in Babies: 3 - 6 Months
I need suggestions here. Dd will NOT let dh feed her or calm her down when she is upset. He is able to get her to sleep when she is ready for a nap and he wears her in the ergo, but when she wakes up, if I'm not there to BF, she goes ballistic. She used to take the bottle, but now won't at all. She starts daycare tomorrow too so obviously I'm concerned. Also, my best friend's bridal shower is Sunday and I'd like to be able to go without the baby since I need to help set everything up, etc... Anyone go through this? He tries but gets so frustrated when nothing helps (and so does dd).
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Re: Still won't calm for dh

  • preciousbabyDpreciousbabyD
    I feel your pain because we are in the same boat.  My boy will not let DH soothe him to sleep or feed him which makes my job extremely tiring.  He will let DH hold/play with him if he's awake but comes feeding/sleeping time it always has to be me.  Sorry no advice but to commiserate with you.  Hopefully someone will have good advice for us.  Hang in there momma.
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  • kjsmith9kjsmith9 member
    We've kind of entered into this phase recently when it comes to night time sleep.  DH used to be able to go in and give her paci back and shush her... but now if he walks in the nursery at night she starts screaming even worse than when no one is in there.  I think she hears the door open and thinks it's going to be me, and then when it's not me, she has a meltdown.  Needless to say, we're nearing the end of this "stormy phase" according to the wonder weeks chart (she's nearing the end of week 19)... so I'm hoping this stops soon.  I was up 5 times last night :-/
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  • laurenhankeylaurenhankey member
    The problem we ran into was that I expected DH to do everything the same way that I did it but we quickly figured out that he needed to find his own special way of soothing the baby.  It took some time but he figured it out and now they have their own special things and an unbreakable bond :)
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  • MandyJo18MandyJo18 member

    We are going through the same thing with DS! I don't mean this the wrong way but it's kinda nice to see that we aren't the only ones. Our problem is that I only work part time two days a week in the evenings. On those nights my DS tends to just have major melt downs. He won't eat and will cry until bed time (and that happened when my MIL watched him the other night as well), several times he will go almost 12 hours without eating! But he has started to get better. Now that he's getting used to being with DH those two nights a week he's finally starting to take his bottle, which in turn betters his moods! :) So I guess just hang in there Mommy and I hope things get better for you as well.

    I think the hardest thing especially for BF Mommies is that our babies want to be with us more than anyone else, even our spouses b/c we are their main source of food and comfort at this time! But I have heard that it does get better and they soon learn to be with others :) I love him wanting to always be with me but I do feel bad for my DH sometimes!

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  • DCKateDCKate member

    My daughter will be 4mo on Friday, and this happens to us as well.  I feel so awful for my husband.  They play and laugh all day long, but when it comes to being upset, she only wants me.  He's very sweet with her and patient, but I know it's hurting his feelings.

    Another mom on one of these boards suggested taking a cardigan or shirt you've worn during the day, and draping it over your husband or partner's chest before they take the baby.  I know it sounds silly, but this has totally helped us.  Maybe it's just that she can smell me, but she will relax when we do that, enough for him to get her to calm down.  He's taken my laundry out  of the basket in moments of desperation when I'm not home and it has worked!  Good luck, mama! 

    Our little Samosa arrives in January!
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