Does you DH/SO go with you?

jeannaqueena · April 2013

To every OB appointment? We have a general check up tomorrow, no u/s and I told him I am ok with his skipping. We have a home Doppler and I figure we will use it before i leave so I won't be blindsided at the apt alone. BUT he still feels guilty and wants to come, but is SO stressed and over loaded at work and after 2 IVFs and the SCH scare he is so worried about me going alone.

What do your DHs do? Just curious!

notquiteblushing · April 2013

Nope. He has been to all of the ultrasounds (except week 7 at the RE because he was out of town) but I wouldn't want him to take an hour out of his workday just to watch my blood pressure get taken. Since he works from home he would just have to move all his meetings and make that hour up later on in the evening which would infringe on our time together.

kseav · April 2013

While he was able to a would schedule my appt on his day off. Now that his second summer job starts this week he doesn't have any days off. I am fine with him not going. The appts are pretty boring for him anyway. I woul rather him only take time off if its really needed.

nhamilton1008 · April 2013

DH has only gone with me for the ultrasounds (he did skip the NT scan and fetal echo though). All he really cares about is seeing the LO, which is fine with me!

kaf7 · April 2013

DH went to RE ultrasound, nuchal u/s, and first OB appointment because thry were all when he was on summer vacation. Otherwise just delivery. Usually there's one or two women in the waiting room with their DH's. maybe he can come to one or two until he realizes they are pretty boring if all is well?

Hinessn · April 2013

He did in the beginning, but my clinic really sucks and he cant take 3+ hours off to watch them take my BP and blow off any questions we may have. When we have our monthly appts with the MFM he does go to those. He likes to see LO and they do long ultrasounds every time with 3D at the end of each. Plus it's 45min away and he doesnt want me driving alone anymore haha

asilwhite · April 2013

My DH only went to major appointments with ultrasounds. He is going to come to my first midwife appointment (I switched providers) in a couple weeks because he wants to meet her.

Basically he tries to make the major ones if work allows and he said as we get closer to the due date he might attend more if he's able, but him coming only a couple times has worked out fine. You're in and out of the regular OB appointments in like 10 minutes anyways.

Citygirl1015 · April 2013

DH only went to the RE ultrasounds, and the first OB appt. The regular check-ups are so quick that it's prob not worth him skipping work if he's stressed and overloaded. Especially if you have a doppler and will know if baby is OK before appt.

cdale86 · April 2013

We have so many "major" appts that DH tries to go to all the MFM (every week to every other week) and cardiologist appts. It seems like something major seems to come up at these. I was actually really stressed because he couldn't go with me today. Luckily, I didn't receive more devastating news but MFM is concerned about IUGR. I'm usually the one to ask all the questions, but I felt like I couldn't think straight by myself.

DH has never been to an OB appt. He has never met my OB and never will. It's kinda strange. I have 1-2 appts every week (sometimes 3) and have ever since week 12ish. DH works 1hr 15min away from all appts, so he does what he can to make it to the MFM appts with u/s.

JewelsW1980 · April 2013

At every appointment I ask what is going to happen at the next appointment and if it's just the general OB appointments I tell DH he doesn't need to come. He's been at all the *important* appointments. I want him to save his time off so he can take time off once baby arrives.

baker916 · April 2013

JewelsW1980:
At every appointment I ask what is going to happen at the next appointment and if it's just the general OB appointments I tell DH he doesn't need to come.

This. DH went to all the early appts and everything with an ultrasound. But for longer appts (like my upcoming checkup/glucose test) or just standard checkups, he doesn't need to come.

luvboston · April 2013

DH goes to nothing I take my mom or sisters. I can handle everything on my own so I don't see the point. It's really about your personal comfort.

jeannaqueena · April 2013

baker916:
JewelsW1980:
At every appointment I ask what is going to happen at the next appointment and if it's just the general OB appointments I tell DH he doesn't need to come.
This. DH went to all the early appts and everything with an ultrasound. But for longer appts (like my upcoming checkup/glucose test) or just standard checkups, he doesn't need to come.

Ok, i am going to tell DH he is totally off the hook! He didn't come to all the apts with DS and he is putting undo pressure on himself! Of course, he will come to the a/s and prob some apts at the end when we decide VBAC or c/s.

Thanks ladies for the input! I will try to relieve the pressure he is putting on himself!

new+tothis · April 2013

My DH doesn't go with me. It would be WAY too much time off work for him and his job is not very flexible in that regard. He is going to one appointment with me - the anatomy scan. Sometimes it sucks like when I had to tell him we lost one of our babies. This is the best way for us though.

jadwedd · April 2013

Someone goes with me to every appointment. If dh is not ootthen he goes because he works from home so he rearranges his schedule. If he is oot either my mom or dad go. I tell them that I could go alone but they like seeing the baby and they worry about me being alone if something goes wrong after the rocky start. It really nice esp since I go every other week.

nawlinsgrl · April 2013

DH only went to appts. with ultrasounds for DD, and to meet the OB the first time. This time he went to the u/s appts. at the RE, but didn't go with me to the MFM for NT scans, mainly because he was home with DD. He never went to/goes to regular OB monitoring appts.

Of course we have been blessed with uneventful pregnancies both times, so that helps.

Killer Tomato · April 2013

DH went to most of the RE u/s, and all of the OB u/s appts so far. He hasn't gone to any of the regular OB appts, and I havent really felt any need for him to be there. (He did go to my 3hr GTT at the lab, mostly b/c I was super-nervous about it.) I have a u/s this Friday that is not easy for him to take off work, so he is skipping that one.

If you don't feel like you need him there for the support, and it is stressful for him to make it, I don't see any reason why he needs to be there, especially for the routine, no u/s appts. Tell him not to feel bad!

lily_721 · April 2013

DH went the first u/s at 7 weeks. He went to the a/s. He went with me to the MFM. He may go with me to the specialist at Childrens. He doesnt go to my regular appointments. He didnt go to the early u/s. I dont want him to take that much time from work.

oooCarrieB · April 2013

Just the RE ultrasound, NT scan and AS scan. No point in him going when I'm just peeing in a cup and getting measured.

jmorta04 · April 2013

H hasn't come to most appointments. He came to first u/s at the RE, the first OB appt, the A/S and then a recent one with my new OB two weeks ago. The routine appts are so quick that it seems kinda pointless to make him skip work for them.

KdgTeacher · April 2013

I'll be the odd ball HA HA!

MH has gone to every single apt that we've had from RE to today's. However, in the interest of full disclosure, MH has a decently flexible schedule, an amazingly understanding Sgt (and higher ups) and I've had one apt in 30 wks that we didn't have a u/s at.

CNYBride05 · April 2013

He's come to every scheduled appt b/c we schedule them for his week day off. Any necessary, but unscheduled appts he has missed. I love that he comes with me.

jeannaqueena · April 2013

new+tothis:
My DH doesn't go with me. It would be WAY too much time off work for him and his job is not very flexible in that regard. He is going to one appointment with me - the anatomy scan. Sometimes it sucks like when I had to tell him we lost one of our babies. This is the best way for us though.

This is what he is worried about. Me finding out bad news and him not being there to support me. Plus I drive 45 min to my OB's office so if there was bad news he worries about me driving. I am so sorry about the loss of one of your twins.

Julie21613 · April 2013

JewelsW1980:
At every appointment I ask what is going to happen at the next appointment and if it's just the general OB appointments I tell DH he doesn't need to come. He's been at all the *important* appointments. I his want him to save his time off so he can take time off once baby arrives.

This too....DH has been to every major appointment & all ultrasounds..like pp said... don't want him to take time off of work just to see them take my blood pressure. He hears baby's H/B every time I use the doppler...

Laurakat81 · April 2013

He only comes when we have an ultrasound. Early on we would use the doppler the morning of my appt to keep our anxiety level low. That way he knew that chances were good that we wouldn't be getting bad news and we both felt comfortable with me going alone. If we hadn't found the HB at any point he certainly would come.

MrsSmith414 · April 2013

DH goes to all of my appointments and plans on it throughout my pregnancy. He told me at the last one he was scared for me to go alone and get any bad news so he wants to be there to support us and to go through this together!

I love him so much for this! It reallly involves himm!

RedLucia · May 2013

I experienced a few scares by my self at some IVF and pre-natal appointments. They turned out to be false positive results, but I really wish I had insisted that DH had been at those appointments. After those scares, I became insistant about him being at appointments where I might get a big scare. I have 0 need for him to be at pre-natal appointments where they just take my weight and blood pressure.

Now, I don't have any more USs and I don't expect DH to come to an appointment until I am delivering the baby. However, I am insisting that DH attend the majority of the birth/delivery classes.

Does you DH/SO go with you?

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