Is my baby behind developmentally?

Starfish+77 · April 2013

My DD will be 5 months next week and was 5 weeks premature. She isn't grasping items yet unless I place them in her hands, then she only holds a few seconds. She has only laughed once. I loved it and can't wait to hear it again! She has never rolled over and doesn't seem even close to doing so. When I brought her to 4 month appointment, Ped just about chewed me out and said I have to do more tummy time with her because she was really lacking neck strength. So she's not close to sitting up either.

I feel like I'm doing something wrong in raising her already! But do you think some of these 'delays' are due to her really only being 3 1/2 months old? Am I being overly concerned for nothing? Did your LO do these things at 5 months??

g8trkim · April 2013

I've always heard, as far as developmental milestones, to go by due date rather than birth date. That means your LO is definitely too young to start sitting and I wouldn't worry so much about the rolling or grasping. If she can grab things handed to her than she's headed in the right directions. Honestly, I think she sounds fine.

DublinMama · April 2013

My son is only 3 months old, but what I can say is that commonly when babies are premature, their "adjusted age" is what is taken into account. That is to say, a baby may be five months old, but if s/he was four weeks early his/her adjusted age would be four months, and therefore that would be the barometer for milestones, not the actual age. So I think yes, your DD may be five months old chronologically, but developmentally she is only 31/2 months old, so that is what should be considered when it comes to reaching milestones. FWIW, DS is 3 months old and was born on time and has not rolled over. He also only grasps things for a few seconds and doesn't laugh as much as sucks in air when he smiles really big. I don't think I'm doing anything wrong in raising him, and I don't think you are with your DD, either!

SusanC111 · April 2013

I have no idea about delays, but I have some tummy time ideas for you.

Take 2 couch cushions and put one slanted on the other to make a ramp, with his head at the top of the ramp, and feet pointed down the ramp. prop some toys on the floor in front of him. Putting the baby on an incline is a 'cheat' to help strengthen the neck until you can remove the cheat and they are strong enough to go with out. You can also push the baby up on his(her?) elbows to get him started.

And if you have a yoga ball, try tummy time on that. Push his elbows under him and keep the ball close to you and slowly push the ball forward, away from you. As he moves forward he will work his neck harder. I would do this in front of a mirror so he could see himself.

the stronger he gets the less he will hate tt, and then he will do it all the time!

good luck to you.

rjeller32 · April 2013

SusanC111:
I have no idea about delays, but I have some tummy time ideas for you.
Take 2 couch cushions and put one slanted on the other to make a ramp, with his head at the top of the ramp, and feet pointed down the ramp. prop some toys on the floor in front of him. Putting the baby on an incline is a 'cheat' to help strengthen the neck until you can remove the cheat and they are strong enough to go with out. You can also push the baby up on his(her?) elbows to get him started.
And if you have a yoga ball, try tummy time on that. Push his elbows under him and keep the ball close to you and slowly push the ball forward, away from you. As he moves forward he will work his neck harder. I would do this in front of a mirror so he could see himself.
the stronger he gets the less he will hate tt, and then he will do it all the time!
good luck to you.

Do you hold just the ball or your LO as well? I am terrified of my LO falling and it seems like the slightest jerk or scare would bounce them right off...

AimeeL85 · April 2013

g8trkim:
I've always heard, as far as developmental milestones, to go by due date rather than birth date. That means your LO is definitely too young to start sitting and I wouldn't worry so much about the rolling or grasping. If she can grab things handed to her than she's headed in the right directions. Honestly, I think she sounds fine.

Yeah, I completely agree. I believe by about a year is where they can be expected to have mostly "caught up" with their non-premature peers...but not earlier than that.

I don't remember when my DS grasped things, but he was not premature and he didn't roll over until 6 months. Our pedi wasn't concerned at all. Rolling is not really considered a milestone anymore because the age they do it varies so much.

I wouldn't worry too much!

divajackie67 · April 2013

My son was about 4 weeks early and I am extremely paranoid about milestones for some reason. (I wish I wasn't) I also read because he was premature we should use the milestone targets for his due date instead of his birth date. I try to relax and only worry if the pediatrician is worried, but I can't help myself. My son doesn't roll from back to front and it makes me nervous, but he can do front to back like a champ!

Just be patient. I know easier said than done.

ForeverEverAfter · April 2013

I think your LO is right on track for adjusted age. At 3.5 months DD seemed to be refusing to grasp items (would use legs arms and wrists to position toys, but not hold them in hand), and had rolled tummy to back only. Then a week later she was rolling both ways, had laughed out loud for the first time and was positioning toys with 2 fingers. Now she grabs and holds toys just fine. Babies develop at their own pace, I wouldn't expect many of those things until adjusted age is 4-6 months

jani7 · April 2013

My DD is only 4 months but isn't rolling and doesn't reach for things really unless I give them to her and then she holds it for a bit. She isn't sitting either. So it doesn't sound like your DD isn't far off. I know my pedi did say most babies don't roll till somewhere between 4 and 6 months.

I know it's hard but try not to worry if they don't meet every single milestone right on schedule. My DS crawled a little later than most babies but he is running around crazy now. I would try to up tummy time if you can, it's good for any baby! But don't feel like you are raising her wrong already, clearly you love her and are worried about her well being so I'm sure you are doing just fine!

rsolsem · April 2013

My DD JUST rolled over yesterday, and we still haven't gotten a real laugh. She'll be 5 months on Sunday.

I'm sure you're doing GREAT! We mommies are always overly concerned, but that's ok. We love our LOs! Keep your head up (I'm sure your DD will too!).

ArmyWife114 · April 2013

DS is the same age as your DD, he'll be 5 months next week, and he's not really interested in rolling over, nor is he interested in sitting up unsupported. Supported sitting he does okay, but not great.

DS was just shy of 3 weeks premature, and both his doc and I have noticed that he does things 2-3 weeks late. It's completely normal for preemies to do things a little slower than their actual age. So, def count from due date and see if your DD is still slower than that. Also, the age babies start to do things is the average, some babies do them faster, some do them slower. Preemie or not, every baby does things differently!

oneyedsally · April 2013

My LO is 3.5 months, same as your baby's adjusted age. She hasn't rolled over and just started grasping things on Monday. And she never reaches for toys, basically she has one rattle she will hold onto for about 30 seconds. She hates tummy time! It seems like she tolerates it a little better on the boppy or the bed as opposed to a mat on the floor. I try to prop her on her elbows so she can get a better view. I think she hates it because she likes to look around, and I think the softer surfaces are more comfortable.

She really built her neck strength when we started sitting her on our laps facing us and holding her hands to keep her steady. DH bounces her up and down making horsey sounds and that is a surefire way to get her to laugh. She never laughs at toys, only when we interact with her. It feels silly but try to be as funny as you can. I figured out she loves when I control her arms and legs. I stretch her arms up and say "soo big!" and play patty cake with her feet.

I got some good suggestions for developmental stage appropriate games from the Wonder Weeks book. At her age my LO is supposed to like games that involve her whole body, like playing airplane or rocking her side to side like a pendulum and making a tick-tock sound like a clock. I tried it out and she loved it!

Starfish+77 · April 2013

Thanks everyone for your wonderful input and support! Oddly enough, I wasn't worried about this until her 4 month appointment and the Ped made me feel like she was way behind her milestones. She is doing great and is healthy and that's what matters :-) I'm sure shell be giggling in no time! Thanks again

st.augbride · April 2013

First, you need to go by adjusted age. A 3.5 month old is not close to sitting and likely hasn't rolled yet. Ds was 6 weeks early and had slightly low muscle tone. He was on the late end of normal for all gross motor skills based on adjusted age. We start PT with him twice per week at 6 months old and it helped him a lot. You can always get a free eval from the county. I found our county services to be quite useless though and only saw progress when we went private,

hmontty · April 2013

DublinMama:
My son is only 3 months old, but what I can say is that commonly when babies are premature, their "adjusted age" is what is taken into account. That is to say, a baby may be five months old, but if s/he was four weeks early his/her adjusted age would be four months, and therefore that would be the barometer for milestones, not the actual age. So I think yes, your DD may be five months old chronologically, but developmentally she is only 31/2 months old, so that is what should be considered when it comes to reaching milestones. FWIW, DS is 3 months old and was born on time and has not rolled over. He also only grasps things for a few seconds and doesn't laugh as much as sucks in air when he smiles really big. I don't think I'm doing anything wrong in raising him, and I don't think you are with your DD, either!

This was my DS at three months too...now, at four months, he holds on to things, has giggled three times this week, and is starting to try to roll from back to front. One month makes a huge difference. oP, I would not worry yet.

MrSTyLeR11 · April 2013

My DD will be 5 months old on the 4th and was 5 weeks early too. At about 18 weeks, she started rolling from her back to her front (she sleeps on her stomach). She will roll from her back to her side. She reaches for toys, can do mini push-ups during tummy time, and she has laughed a couple of times. Like PP have said, practice tummy time, even if it's just 5 mins, 2 times a day, every little bit helps. Babies develop at their own pace.

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