Doing Better Than DH

lillinzlou · April 2013

I don't get it. When we were going through failed cycle after failed cycle, DH was fine. In fact, he was mad at me for being so upset all the time.

Now, after suffering this loss, I am moving on pretty quickly and he is the one that's so distraught. He can barely peel himself off the couch.

I don't know what to do. Is anyone else's SO dealing differently?

Katie5295 · April 2013

So glad someone else can relate. My DH has always been my rock and 100 percent sure when it can to kids. When I brought up TTC again he wants to put on the breaks. We have suffered one other m/c before this one. Twins. I was about 14 wks but they had stopped growing in the first trimester. I want to move on but he has taken it really hard. I needed.to talk to him about it. But he couldn't handle it. It is very hard. My DH has always been the good one at talking about emotions.

This is my situation. Yours may be totally different. But I felt like everyone else on here was in a totally different boat when it came to m/c and dealing and DH

kwitt22 · April 2013

I think everyone handles it differently. Yesterday was a bad day for me. Probably the worst yet. DH doesn't really show emotion. However I think he took it out on our yard yesterday, lol. He rented a rototiller, and did the whole front lawn, planted seed. Then did a patch in the back. He's not really a work in the yard kinda guy either!

lillinzlou · April 2013

Katie5295:
So glad someone else can relate. My DH has always been my rock and 100 percent sure when it can to kids. When I brought up TTC again he wants to put on the breaks. We have suffered one other m/c before this one. Twins. I was about 14 wks but they had stopped growing in the first trimester. I want to move on but he has taken it really hard. I needed.to talk to him about it. But he couldn't handle it. It is very hard. My DH has always been the good one at talking about emotions. This is my situation. Yours may be totally different. But I felt like everyone else on here was in a totally different boat when it came to m/c and dealing and DH

Firstly, I am so sorry for your losses. Second, I am glad someone can relate. The first thing DH said when I told him the news was that he was going to get a vasectomy. Good grief. He seems to be better today, though. Hopefully, step by step he'll come around.

Katie5295 · April 2013

Yes. I am hoping this also.

It is very hard to go through this. We got a little on the tipsy side last night oops probably not the healthiest way to deal with the situation. But it opened us both up enough with each other to talk about this whole situation a little better. I found that was our biggest thing. We both needed to talk about it. I felt like he didn't want to and he felt like he needed to stay strong for me. So I think he is getting there. I hope your DH does to

KABurdie · April 2013

First, I wanted to say that I am sorry for your loss. Also, I can relate to your situation. My DH is not dealing well with my miscarriage at all.

His real dad wasn't in the picture growing up and he was raised by an alcoholic step-father who was physically abusive. So needless to say, he was looking forward to being the father he never had. I feel like many of his hopes and dreams were tied to this pregnancy, and now it's gone.

When he's not at work, he's either zoning out playing video games or sleeping for hours on end. It's extremely unnerving because he's always the level headed one telling me that things will get better.

Vms126 · April 2013

I can relate too. I was hit hard 2 weeks ago during my natural miscarriage and DH was amazing. During week one, He was super supportive and caring. Now week two, my sweet husband has turned bitter, short, and mean. I am finding it hard to comfort him this week.
I'm so sorry for all of your losses.

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