WWYD? Relatives and pets visiting
PGASTL
member
Okay so this baby is due in 6.5 weeks and my in-laws will be coming to visit. Between my SIL/BIL and MIL/FIL, they have 3 dogs total. My SIL has already said she will be putting her dogs in a kennel for the visit, however my MIL hasn't discussed it yet.
Here's the thing... they are all very sensitive about the fact that we live 8.5 hours away (and near my family). So I always try to be welcoming and that means their dogs are invited too. Despite the fact that 2 of them shed and one is SO HUGE that he knocks over LO all the time and there is always mud getting tracked in the house, etc.
It truly drives me nuts when they bring them because they spend so much more of their time trying to control the dog/s then actually visiting with us. It's gotten to the point where it's been hard to hide my emotions and I KNOW they KNOW it irritates me that the dogs are here.
So, when I have this new baby I don't know if I will have a rc/s and be in the hospital during their whole visit or if I will be home. Either way, I have a lot of anxiety at the thought of my MIL's dog coming during this time. We have a relatively small home and we will already have people on airbeds and sleeping on couches because all 4 of them are visiting.
Add to that the fact that I will have a newborn and it's just a lot of chaos. I would strongly prefer that they NOT bring the dog during that particular visit.
Okay, this is getting long so I will cut to the chase... with me having a complicated IL relationship, what would you think is the best way to communicate this? Have DH say it the next time he talks to them? Have me call my MIL? (I never call her by the way - I text her pics of LO and send her emails but we do not talk on the phone). Should I send an email (I'm thinking too passive aggressive?)
Or do you think I should let it go and just see if they don't bring the dog without me having to ask?
I seriously had anxiety dreams last night that the dog came and infested my house with fleas and I woke up itching - so this is really on my mind lately!!!
TIA!
Re: WWYD? Relatives and pets visiting
Does SIL normally bring her dogs? If so, and she's not bringing them, I would assume she and mil have already discussed it and decided to leave all dogs at home and SIL is just the only one to say anything
Yes, SIL normally brings her dogs. When we moved LO into her big girl room, we took the full bed out and put in a twin bed. So basically we have zero extra space for visitors - everyone has to sleep on an air bed or couch.
Anyway, at that time, I told my SIL and MIL that my mom had extended an invitation that they are always welcome to stay at her house (she lives 5 minutes away and has 3 extra bedrooms with plenty of space). They have a decent relationship with my mom, so it's not like it was salt in the wound or anything. I did say that my mom could not allow any dog visitors (because she has 2 dogs herself and it would just be nuts).
My SIL took that really poorly for some reason (this wasn't even me talking about MY house- just my mom's) and has been touchy about the dog subject ever since.
Sigh. It's complicated. Thanks for your advice though! I think that's the direction I'm leaning in too.
Absolutely have H tell them that with 2 kids and limited space, no dogs for this visit. The end! I don't know how your H is with his parents, but mine is extremely forward (to the point of rudeness, which I always tell him isn't good either) so he would do it in a heartbeat.
We have a rule...you have to deal with your own parents!
I like that rule!!!
Well, I told DH that I would prefer for them not to bring their dog and that he needed to tell them that. He was really quiet when I said that, and when we discussed it with friends later he made it clear he was going to say "Becky doesn't want the dog to come" instead of making it seem like a joint decision, but honestly I don't give a darn.
I have tip toed around so many things with them for so long that I don't mind seeming like a b!tch about this. It's important to me so fine, I will be the bad guy!