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One & Done: Only child
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So on the fence!

SunAndRainSunAndRain member
in One & Done: Only child
DD is 9.5 months old, I'm 38 and DH is 40. Right now, life is great. I think, "Why rock the boat?" But then I think, "Who will our daughter have when we die?" Having a family of her own isn't guarenteed. And I think, "If something were to happen to her I simply wouldn't not be able to continue living." But part of me wonders whether it'll seriously impact my quality of life to the point that I'm exhausted and miserable. Truely, I don't know what I don't know...which is how well I'll manage another. We are not preventing now. It took 3 years of not preventing before I got pregnant with DD. I FEEL like I want to get pregnant, add to our family. But still part of me wonders, "Why rock the boat?" Any words of wisdom?
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Re: So on the fence!

  • lovelyXlovelyX member
    That's a tough one. Do yo u think you'd be miserable because it would be overwhelming with two? If that's the reason give it more time, your lo is still young and I found once my little man was over a year I had to reexamine why I wanted to be OAD. At first it was because I didn't think I could do the baby stage again but now that he is 16months, still young I know, I feel I could do the baby stage again. But my family feels complete now with just the three of us. Ask yourself if you feel complete with your family as is I think is one of the biggest factors in deciding to be OAD.
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  • Emilia0101Emilia0101

    I agree with one and done being a very personal choice. I have probably one of the older kids on this board (3.5). I will give you a few things that I have found and use it as food for thought :) Like others have said having a second, third, or even 4th child doesn't ensure a life long companion for your child. Your child may have several children of their own or could wind up with a great friend based support system. Some people will miss the baby phase, but I find more people miss their own child as a baby rather than the infant stage. You will get the questions what if something happened to your child? Do you really want a back up child if something ever did happen?

    Now that DD is older day to day life is "easier". We can go out of town for the weekend, eat out without feeling like you are running against the clock. DD has a lot of opportunities because financially we can provide them but with 2 kids it would be a major stretch. Good luck with your choice. It is a hard one.

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