February 2012 Moms

My non mom frends

I'm having problems connecting with my friends. I feel lonely. I am 37 and my frends are career girls. They think being a mom is an escape from what a woman should be. Anyone else in this spot?

 

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Re: My non mom frends

  • LOL I literally JUST made a similar comment in the friends thread.  I think it's natural to drift away from people who have a very different lifestyle from you.  There's no way that someone who hasn't been a FT parent can truly relate to what life is like with a little one.
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  • I barely talk to my friends that aren't parents anymore, even my "BFF". She is getting married in June and plans to TTC on the honeymoon. I hope she gets pregnant immediately so she can see how it is and realize what a bish she's been! I am also lonely and my DH works a lot Sad
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  • My closest friends are all my age or a year or 2 younger (I'm 31) and for a long time made me feel guilty for not getting random babysitters all the time just to go out to bars or parties. It's settled down a bit. None of them have kids yet. I can't wait for them to have babies so they understand a little more about me needing to be home to nurse my baby who never took a bottle. And just so we can relate a little more again!
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  • I'm sorry you're going through this. My non-mom friends always make comments on how they never see me anymore. Sorry, but I'm not taking my child to the club or to a loud, busy restaurant! But I do have friends who do have kids and they understand if I have to cancel last minute because Jackson got sick or the babysitter bailed. They also understand that dinner is usually 5:30/6 and NOT 7 or 8 and that naps are very important (not just for the kid, but for my sanity!!)

    Have you tried meeting up with other local moms? Join a swim class with your LO. Go to story time at the library. Hang out at the park. Check out local clubs/community centers and see if they have a mommy and baby/toddler class.  

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  • I feel like I sometimes can't relate to some of my friends.  They don't have kids or are just starting to think about having them.  And they just don't "get it" when it comes to having a kid.  Some are more understanding than others, especially the ones we have spent more time with since DD arrived.  But even still, they don't truely understand what life is like now.  And I agree with PP, they won't until they have a child of their own.  (Or in the case of BIL/SIL, they still won't get it, but that is another story.)

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  • I can completely understand. I literally know one other person with a child and we aren't exactly friends, we've done a few play dates. I find it so exhausting to just function from day to day between work and kid that I'm letting most of the non mom relationships go because they just don't get it anyways. Plus who calls at 10pm on a Friday to see if we can go out. Yeah let me just call my babysitter. Sometimes I think they include us because they feel they have to and know we can't come anyways.
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers BFP # 1 - June 2nd, 2011 - EDD Feb 5, 2012 Birthday Feb 10, 2012 BFP # 2 - Jan 19, 2012 - EDD Sept 24, 2013 - CP Jan 24, 2012
  • I have a really hard time relating to my non-mom friends now that I'm a mom. I feel like being a mom is so much of who I am, especially since I stay at home, that its sometimes difficult to think of other things to ask someone about if she's not pregnant or doesn't have kids. I know that's sad. It's like I can't remember what I used to talk to other women about in the years before dd. 
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  • You have no idea how long it took me to read that title to myself.
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